Fanfiction: Facing Demons

[rachel500]

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S3 Demons
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Team friendship.  Mild Sam/Jack UST.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.  Written for entertainment purposes only.

 

Facing Demons

‘…and that was when Carter sensed the Goa’uld.’ Jack O’Neill motioned at Samantha Carter sat opposite him, a gesture that caused the young Air Force Major to duck her head. ‘When it knew it had been made, it went to attack; I killed it. We told the kids to bury the gate and we came home.’

‘I think they’ll follow our advice.’ Daniel Jackson added, leaning back in his chair. ‘Which is a shame really.’

‘A shame?’ Jack couldn’t help asking the question against his better judgement.

‘Well, this is the only Christian society we’ve come across, Jack.’ Daniel replied. ‘It would have been fascinating to get a better understanding of how they came to be taken by Sokar in the first place. I mean, they must have been transported through the Stargate in Antarctica…’

‘Or a ship.’ Jack pointed out.

‘Or a ship,’ Daniel allowed, gesturing wildly, ‘but either way, it would have fascinating to discover how Sokar had done it and why. I just think it’s a shame we’ll never find out.’

General Hammond nodded at the archaeologist before he moved back to the SG1 team leader. His eyes briefly paused on the scar intersecting the Colonel’s eyebrow. It looked nasty but going by the Colonel’s short summation of the mission, he was lucky he hadn’t come away with worse. ‘Perhaps it’s for the best. Sounds like this one was a close call, Colonel.’

‘Aren’t they all, sir?’ Jack remarked lightly. His own warm brown eyes landed on Teal’c. The Jaffa looked hardly touched by his experience; beaten, branded and drowned. It was one of the few times that Jack had appreciated the ability of the Goa’uld symbiote that Teal’c carried to keep the Jaffa alive. Teal’c inclined his head as though he sensed Jack’s thoughts.

‘This Goa’uld Sokar seems to be cropping up a lot lately.’ Hammond noted. His bald head gleamed under the artificial lighting as he looked around his flagship team. ‘Doctor Jackson, I know you put together some preliminary information about this Goa’uld the first time we ran across him but I’d like you to put together a formal briefing document for all off-world personnel.’

‘Of course.’ Daniel agreed quickly.

‘Thank you.’ He turned to Sam. ‘I’d like you to start looking at the ring Colonel O’Neill confiscated, the one that apparently stunned you with bolts of lightening? I’d like to see if it’s viable technology we can use.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Sam agreed.

‘And that was a job well done identifying the Goa’uld, Major.’

‘I didn’t really do anything, sir.’ Sam responded tightly. ‘It’s not something I can control.’

They all stared at her noting the sharpness that had edged her comment. She squirmed under the combined regard.

‘Sorry, sir.’ Sam said formally to Hammond. ‘I’m a little tired.’

Hammond gave a short nod of acknowledgement at her apology for her uncharacteristic behaviour. ‘Well, I see no reason to detain you here further. We’ll make a note of the planet’s decision to bury the gate and remove it from the dialling program. Get some rest.’ He stood up. ‘Dismissed.’

Sam slid the folder off the table, pushed her chair back and marched out of the briefing room without waiting for the others. The three men exchanged a concerned look as they followed after her. By the time, they reached the corridor she had disappeared.

‘What was that about?’ Jack asked out loud.

‘I don’t know.’ Daniel admitted.

‘Did Major Carter not say she was tired?’ Teal’c murmured.

‘No…’ Jack paused as an Airman passed, and he waited until they were in the elevator before he spoke again. ‘Something’s been bothering her since she spent time with that Tok’ra we rescued last week.’

‘Korra.’ Daniel supplied. He took a sip from the coffee mug he carried. His blue eyes shone with worry for their female team-mate.

‘Him. Something was off between the two of them when we caught up with them in the infirmary.’ Jack continued.

‘I agree.’ Teal’c noted, clasping his hands behind his back.

‘You think he said something to her?’ Daniel asked.

‘I don’t know, Daniel. She’s not talking about it.’ Jack retorted. ‘She hasn’t said anything to either of you?’

Daniel shook his head. ‘Nothing.’

‘She has not confided in me either, O’Neill.’ Teal’c confirmed.

Jack rubbed a hand through his hair. Sam’s performance hadn’t really been affected despite the fact that he knew something was bothering her and he’d decided that she could work out whatever had gone down between her and the Tok’ra herself. He ignored the twinge of conscious that reminded him his decision had also let him out of a difficult conversation. Given her terse response to Hammond in the briefing he was going to have to rethink that strategy. ‘I’ll talk to her tomorrow.’

‘A wise decision.’ Teal’c said approvingly.

Jack shot him a look and found the Jaffa looking back at him with a steady, even gaze. Jack decided a change of subject was in order. ‘So, how does it feel to come back from the dead?’

Teal’c blinked. ‘I did not die, O’Neill. As I said, my symbiote sustained me.’

‘As I said,’ Jack parroted glibly, ‘way to go, Junior.’ His brown eyes gleamed seriously despite his outward humour. He knew the absolute horror of believing he had watched his friend drown would stay with him for a long time.

Daniel patted Teal’c’s shoulder fondly. His own relief that the Jaffa had survived beamed from his open face. ‘I shouldn’t worry, Teal’c, a logical explanation has never stopped Jack from suggesting I’ve died before.’

‘That’s because you die so often we lose track.’ Jack shot back.

Daniel glowered at him. ‘I do not.’

‘Seven times, Daniel.’ Jack said, pushing his hands into his pockets.

‘I’ve only died twice.’ Daniel snapped. His eyes widened suddenly as his own words replayed in his head. ‘Wow. That sounds weird.’

The elevator doors slid open.

‘Weird.’ Jack agreed as they exited the elevator.

Teal’c nodded once. ‘Indeed.’

o-O-o

Sam frowned at the initial report on the ring they had brought back from the mission. She tapped a pen against her lips thoughtfully. OK. The first problem was that was no obvious power source but there had to be one. Her eyes drifted to where the object of her thoughts lay on the central bench. Maybe if she took the casing off she could find it. The sharp rap on the doorframe interrupted her thoughts and her gaze flew up into two warm brown eyes.

‘Sir.’ She straightened her posture automatically although she remained seated on the stool.

‘Thought I’d stop by,’ Jack began lightly as he sauntered into the lab to stand beside her, ‘see how you were getting on with the ring.’

She stared at him surprised. ‘Well, I, uh…’ she took a deep breath and recovered, ‘it’s going slowly, sir.’ She turned back to the computer and gestured at him. ‘Our initial analysis hasn’t revealed anything very much although it does suggest that there are trace amounts of naquadah which suggests that it’s used as the power source but I…’

He was actually listening to her.

The thought struck her almost as powerfully as the lightening bolt the ring had emitted on the planet and she faltered mid-word.

Jack raised his eyebrows. ‘But what, Carter?’

‘You…’ She bit her lip. ‘Nothing, sir. As I was saying I haven’t actually been able to find the power source yet.’ She looked at him concerned. ‘Are you alright, sir?’

Jack folded his arms across the blue BDU shirt he wore. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you the same question.’

She frowned at him, a quizzical look in her blue eyes.

‘Are you alright?’ Jack clarified. ‘You seemed a little…off at the briefing yesterday.’

Sam stiffened and her face closed up. ‘I was just a little tired, sir. It won’t happen again.’

He took in her fixed look and sighed. ‘Look, Carter, it isn’t just the briefing…’

She flushed bright red. ‘I’m sorry if my performance hasn’t been adequate, Colonel, I…’

‘Your performance has been more than adequate, Major; it’s been exemplary as usual.’ Jack said evenly, ignoring her angry tone as he focused on the misery collecting in her eyes. ‘That’s not what this about. Something’s been bothering you ever since we ran across that Tok’ra guy.’

Her gaze fell to the floor and she missed Jack’s glower of pure frustration. He pushed a hand through his short, grey hair. ‘What the hell did he say to you, Carter?’

Her head snapped up at the irritated growl. ‘Sir?’

‘Korra.’ Jack said precisely as his brown eyes held hers firmly. ‘What did he say to you?’

For a second the urge to confide in him teased at her. It would be so easy for her tell him what Korra had told her; that she was effectively still as blended to Jolinar dead as she had been as her unwilling host; that Jolinar’s left over memories, thoughts and feelings might be influencing her own.

But she would be placing him in an untenable position as her CO, she concluded sadly. He would be obligated to report it and if he did, she would probably find herself confined to the mountain – and that was the best scenario. She knew he probably wouldn’t report it if she asked him not to but she couldn’t – wouldn’t – ask him to break protocol for her, to risk his career like that. ‘Nothing.’ Sam denied eventually. ‘He didn’t say anything.’

‘And if I send a message to the Tok’ra for him to get his ass back here so I can ask him the same question, he’ll tell me the same thing?’ Jack asked pointedly.

She looked away again, unable to reply.

He moistened his lips and examined her set expression again. He moved suddenly; leaning back against the central workbench and idly picking up the ring there. ‘Carter,’ he waved the ring at her, ‘I’m just trying to help here.’

Sam glanced up at him, her eyes travelling over his face; the lines that criss-crossed his face seemed a little deeper, his eyes shone with worry for her. She felt the warmth of his concern spread through her and it helped eased the bundle of nerves in her gut. She tried a smile. ‘Didn’t you order me to kick you the next time you got an urge to help someone, sir?’

Jack gave a short laugh as he remembered his words on the planet when they had been captured by the canon after their offer to help with the Unas had been refused. The tension between them dissipated a little.

Sam motioned at him gently. ‘I am fine, sir.’

‘I could order you to tell me.’ Jack murmured.

She held her breath as he held her eyes for a long moment.

‘Look, I can appreciate that you might not be comfortable talking to me,’ Jack said, his voice giving away none of his own regret that she wouldn’t, ‘especially given recent events.’ He ignored the slight heat in his cheeks at the memory of kissing Sam’s alternate universe counterpart. ‘So, don’t talk to me; talk to someone else.’

The words were compassionate; kind even, but Sam heard the implicit order in them. ‘Yes, sir.’

Jack nodded sharply and turned away toward the door.

‘Uh, sir?’ Sam hurried to stop him.

He turned around and looked at her inquisitively, careful to hide his hope that she had changed her mind.

‘The ring, sir.’ Sam reminded him.

Jack looked at her blankly before he remembered he was holding it. ‘Oh. Right.’ He held it out to her. ‘Your ring, Carter.’

For a second, they both froze; both caught by the symbolism in the simple act of a man offering a woman a ring.

Sam mentally kicked herself. Jack wasn’t a man offering her the ring as a token of his love; he was a Colonel giving an artefact to a Major under his command, she reminded herself briskly. She reached out and picked it up. ‘Thank you, sir.’

Jack gave her a bittersweet smile before he continued out of the door. She caught a hint of disappointment in his eyes as he walked out and she wondered at it. He most probably wasn’t disappointed for the same reason she was, she mused, as she slid back onto her stool. She half-hoped her growing feelings for Jack were because Jolinar had shared an intimate relationship with Martouf when he had occupied a similar position of authority to Jolinar that Jack occupied with Sam; it would be a great excuse for falling for her CO. She sighed. What worried her more was that she already half-suspected the feelings were all her own and she wasn’t sure how she was going to handle them. It was a crush, she thought determinedly; nothing more, nothing less.

Sam looked at the ring and gave into the urge to try it on. She held her left hand up and wrinkled her nose at the sight of the bulky object against her skin before she turned back to her work.

o-O-o

Daniel hovered in the corridor outside of Sam’s lab and cursed Jack silently under his breath. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be there, Daniel mused agitatedly; if Sam needed to talk to someone he obviously wanted to be there for her, but he had learned early in their friendship that getting Sam to talk when she didn’t want to talk was a whole different ball game…and he had always been fairly useless at ball games.

Chess, he mused. Maybe it was more like a game of chess. Getting the Queen into just the right position…OK; that was a creepy line of thought. Sam wasn’t an object to be manoeuvred; she was a human being who was evidently hurting about something. He frowned. A passing scientist gave him a speculative look as he walked by and Daniel shook himself. His fingers tightened on the file he held and he took the step into her lab.

Sam didn’t look up from the computer; she was completely engrossed in her work. He cleared his throat noisily and she turned around.

‘Daniel.’ Sam seemed momentarily pleased to see him before he glimpsed suspicion enter her blue gaze. Her face smoothed out and she turned back to the computer. ‘Was there something you needed?’

‘Ah, yes.’ Daniel took a hesitant step forward. ‘I was hoping to go over your report on the particle beam generator that Sokar used when he, uh, tried to melt down our iris.’ He raised the file he held as though to prove his statement.

Sam glanced at him over her shoulder. ‘Do you really think you need to include it in your briefing?’

‘Just being thorough.’ Daniel gave a weak smile. ‘I thought it might help build a better picture of how advanced Sokar’s technology can be and make the briefing paper a little more,’ he gestured with the file, ‘interesting.’

She raised an eyebrow in an unconscious mimic of Teal’c.

Daniel sighed. ‘Jack seemed to think everyone would find the melting iris thing cool.’

Her lips quirked and she turned back to him. She waved at the stool next to her. Daniel hurriedly sat down and opened the file. His eyes caught on her left hand. ‘Uh, Sam?’ He pointed at the ring she was wearing.

‘Oh.’ Sam flushed and swiftly took the ring off. ‘I,uh, I kept losing it so I put it on so I wouldn’t lose it.’ She gave him a weak smile. ‘What do you need to know?’

For the next thirty minutes, Daniel focused on learning about Sokar’s technology. It wasn’t a waste, he assured himself. He would use the material in his briefing report even if he didn’t need the detail.

‘…and the particle beam generator was just so far advanced from what we know, Daniel.’ Sam continued enthusiastically. ‘I’ve only just started to understand how the math works and…’

‘Woah!’ Daniel gaped at her. ‘Did you just say that you understand the math?’

‘Well, when I learned how the naquadah generator worked, it helped me put it together.’ Sam said, gesturing with the mug of coffee she held. ‘And I’m not saying I understand all of it but…’ she nodded, ‘yeah.’

‘So, you could build a particle beam generator?’ Daniel checked.

Her startled laugh brightened the lab. ‘No.’ She grinned at him. ‘Understanding the math and the theory is one thing; building a particle beam generator is another. Like I said, this technology is so far advanced from what we know, Daniel; it’s incredible.’ She gestured at the ring. ‘Take this device. I think it’s only the trigger for a weapon that must be orbiting the planet maybe in the upper stratosphere. When the device is activated it sends out one signal to call the weapon and when pressed another to fire it.’

‘So we can’t use it?’ Daniel asked.

‘Not without building the corresponding weapon, no.’ Sam agreed. ‘And I think that was some kind of giant zat gun.’ She sobered with a sigh. ‘Which is why Sokar is such a threat. He seems to have technology much more advanced than any Goa’uld we’ve come across.’

‘What about the Tok’ra? Do you think they have anything similar?’ Daniel jumped on the slight opening she had given him and felt a twinge of guilt when her face fell.

She shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘You seem pretty sure of that.’ Daniel commented, closing the file as he held her gaze quizzically.

‘I don’t really remember.’

Something flitted through her eyes; panic, he realised. Had Korra triggered some awful memory of Jolinar’s, he wondered. He took a deep breath. ‘You do know you can always talk to me, right, Sam?’

She stiffened imperceptibly and glared at him, any desire to confide her fears wiped out by her irritation. ‘The Colonel sent you, didn’t he?’

Daniel sighed heavily and fidgeted with the pen he had been using to scribble notes. ‘He’s worried about you, Sam. We all are.’

‘I’m fine.’ She insisted. Her eyes dropped to the floor and she swivelled back to the computer. ‘I should get back to this.’

He looked at her resolute profile and knew he wasn’t going to get any further; he tried anyway. ‘Sam, I just want to help.’

Sam kept her attention on the computer monitor. ‘Didn’t the Colonel order me to shoot you the next time you wanted to help someone?’

Daniel’s mouth fell a little open. ‘OK. Well, I, uh….’ He couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice.

Her head dropped and she looked back at him apologetically. ‘I’m sorry, Daniel. I didn’t mean that.’

Daniel nodded, accepting her apology. ‘So, does this mean you’re going to tell me what’s wrong?’

Sam sighed. ‘It’s…nothing, Daniel.’

‘It’s obviously something, Sam.’ He gently contradicted her. He saw something in her blue eyes…a brief weakening as though she was considering it.

She shook her head abruptly and he caught the gleam of tears in her eyes. ‘I think this is just something I have to work out myself, Daniel.’

‘Hey.’ He reached out and gently tugged her into a hug. He felt a moment’s resistance before she gave in and allowed him to comfort her. It wasn’t long though before she pulled away with a falsely bright smile.

‘I really do have to get back to this.’ She waved at the ring she had discarded.

‘OK.’ Daniel held up his file again. ‘I should get back to this.’ He hesitated. ‘If you need to talk…’

‘I know, Daniel.’ Sam said. ‘Thanks.’

He tapped the file against his side absently as he backed out of the lab. When he reached the door, he looked back at her. She seemed caught up in her work again. Checkmate, he thought sadly.

o-O-o

‘Major Carter.’ Teal’c called to the young woman he had come to consider a sister to him as soon as he stepped into her lab. Her attention seemed miles away as she stared at the ring in her hand.

‘Hmmm?’ Sam’s head snapped to him and he saw alarm briefly chase across her delicate features. ‘Teal’c.’

His lips twitched at her wariness. He was aware that his team-mates’ attempts to talk with Sam had not met with success and he was certain she was expecting a third approach from himself. Her next words confirmed it.

‘I’m fine, Teal’c.’ Sam gestured at him with the ring. ‘I don’t need to talk but thank you.’

He raised an eyebrow and held out the book he had brought with him. ‘Our encounter with Christianity on our recent mission reminded me that I had never returned this to you.’

She blushed. ‘I’m sorry, Teal’c.’ She reached out to take the small black bible automatically. ‘I thought Colonel O’Neill had sent you to talk with me.’

‘Indeed, he did.’

His blunt honesty had her gaze jerking back to his in shock.

‘He did?’

‘I decided I would use the opportunity to return the bible to you.’ Teal’c said firmly.

‘But not to try and convince me to talk?’ Sam checked again, waving the bible at him.

‘I would never attempt such an obvious strategy.’ Teal’c murmured seriously.

She smiled and looked down. Her fingers traced over the faded gilt on the cover absently.

‘I shall leave you to your work.’ Teal’c bowed his head and spun around, fully prepared to leave.

‘I remember when I gave this to you.’

Her comment brought him to an immediate halt and he walked to stand beside her, his hands clasped behind his back.

‘I remember also.’ He said. ‘It was after the mission with Jonas Hansen.’ He figured Sam remembered the mission all too well. Her ex-fiancé had gone crazy off-world and when SG1 had gone in to retrieve him, he had tried to kill her and everyone else. Jonas had died by the hands of the people had tortured and enslaved.

‘Yes.’ Sam sighed and looked up at him ruefully. ‘I cried all over you.’

‘You were upset at the death of Jonas Hansen.’ Teal’c said gently.

She nodded and looked away again. When she looked at him again; he could see a determined resolution in her blue eyes. ‘Can I ask you a question, Teal’c?’

‘Of course.’ Teal’c answered.

‘What do you know about the blending between a host and a symbiote?’ Sam rushed the question out.

Teal’c’s heart sank; he feared there was little he could tell her. ‘I do not know much, Major Carter. Until I joined the Tau’ri I had always believed that the host did not survive the implantation.’ His features softened. ‘You and Colonel O’Neill are proof that belief was misplaced.’

‘Colonel O’Neill, maybe.’ She attempted a smile and failed. ‘I’m not so sure about me.’

He waited patiently.

‘Korra told me that because I have Jolinar’s memories, he thinks it’s like I’m still blended to her.’ Sam confessed; her eyes fixed to the bible she still held. ‘That’s what’s left of Jolinar is influencing me.’

‘What do you think?’ Teal’c asked quietly, understanding why she had been reluctant to discuss the matter with their team-mates; her relationship with the Colonel was complicated by their duty to keeping their world safe; O’Neill would have to consider Sam a risk if he knew of Sam’s situation, no matter how much the Colonel cared for her personally. He knew Sam must have also declined to discuss the matter with Daniel because of her concern for the archaeologist’s feelings; Daniel’s wife Sha’re had been taken as a host and the subject of a host being influenced or their sense of self being eroded by their symbiote may have caused him further pain regarding his loss.

‘I don’t know what to think.’ Sam murmured before she sighed heavily. ‘I think Korra might be right.’ She admitted.

He couldn’t deny the frisson of anxiety that teased at him with her words. ‘Why do you think Jolinar is influencing you?’ Teal’c questioned her solemnly.

Sam kept her eyes pinned to the floor. ‘Because, even though I was worried about what kind of allies the Tok’ra would make, I pushed my father into becoming one.’

‘You desired to save your father.’ Teal’c said. ‘I believe that was the compelling reason why you disregarded any concern you may have had regarding the Tok’ra.’

‘Maybe.’ Sam admitted. Momentary relief drifted across her face at the reassurance her father hadn’t become a symbiote because of Jolinar influencing her at some subconscious level. She looked up at him. ‘It doesn’t explain why I defended Jolinar to Korra. I mean, I was so angry with her, Teal’c, am angry at her, but then I think I understand why she did it and…’ she shook her head. ‘It’s just a mess.’

Teal’c considered his words carefully. ‘I do not believe it is unsurprising that you have conflicted feelings about Jolinar. While she was wrong in taking you as a host, she did save your life in giving her own.’

‘So, you think the conflict just comes out of my own feelings?’ Sam queried, evidently turning it over in her own mind.

‘Is it not possible?’ Teal’c asked.

She nodded slowly. ‘I guess.’

‘Is it not also true that you only remember flashes of Jolinar’s existence?’ Teal’c continued.

She nodded again.

‘So it is unlikely that you are remembering enough to be influenced.’ Teal’c pointed out.

‘I’m influenced around Martouf.’ She blurted out.

‘Perhaps.’ Teal’c conceded; Sam was certainly friendlier and more open with the Tok’ra than he might have expected under normal circumstances. ‘But I have not seen Jolinar’s bond with her mate influence your interactions when you are apart from him.’

‘I wish I could be sure of that.’ Sam murmured.

‘I am certain of it.’ Teal’c reassured her. ‘Your defence of the Tok’ra and of Jolinar obviously appeared unusual to Korra and prompted his warning but I do not believe he knew you well enough to form a definitive conclusion that you are being influenced. I am certain that you are at heart the same Samantha Carter I knew before your experience with the Tok’ra Jolinar.’ He shifted his weight a little as she studied him intently, taking in his sincerity and belief in her.

Her face brightened. ‘Thanks, Teal’c.’ She smiled. ‘Maybe I overreacted a little to what Korra said. I just…I just want to be certain what I’m feeling is what I’m feeling, you know.’

‘His words scared you.’ Teal’c noted.

‘Yeah.’ Sam sighed. ‘That and I can’t help thinking that every time I think I’m coming to terms with what happened with Jolinar and moving on, something else turns up.’

‘There have been many positives from your experience with Jolinar, have there not?’ Teal’c mused. ‘Your ability to use the Goa’uld technology saved the talks with the Asgard and the System Lords and I would not be alive if not for the protein marker you carry.’ He paused. ‘Your ability to sense the Goa’uld is also far greater than my own. We would not have saved the villagers on our last mission if you had not sensed the Goa’uld within the body of the Canon.’

‘I know.’ Sam replied. ‘But I guess how I feel about it is a bit like the relationship you have with your symbiote.’

He raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Well, you don’t like the fact that you carry a Goa’uld, do you, Teal’c?’ Sam pointed out.

‘I do not.’ He admitted.

‘But your symbiote did save your life.’ She concluded. She gestured at him. ‘We thought we’d lost you.’

He nodded in understanding.

‘And I’m really glad it saved you, Teal’c.’ Sam said quietly, her eyes catching his.

‘As am I.’ Teal’c replied.

They both fell silent.

‘Well, I should finish my report on the ring.’ She motioned at her computer.

Teal’c inclined his head. ‘Then I shall leave you to work.’ He headed out of the lab.

‘Teal’c!’ Sam crossed the room and pressed the bible back into his hands. ‘You should keep this.’ She smiled at him brightly. ‘Just in case I need to talk to someone again in the future.’ She didn’t wait for his reaction but hurried back to her waiting computer, and so she missed the Jaffa’s smile as he made his way to report to O’Neill that his mission had been a success.

fin.