Fanfiction: A Matter of Timing

[rachel500]

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S2 A Matter of Time
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Team friendship.  Jack/Team friendship.  Sam/Jack UST.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.  Written for entertainment purposes only.

 

A Matter of Timing

‘We are gathered here today to honour Colonel Franklyn Cromwell, Major Henry Boyd, Captain Luke Strider, Lieutenants Sheila McIlroy, and James Martin who gave their lives in the service of their country.’

General Hammond’s sad words washed over Jack O’Neill. The Colonel stood in a rigid military position, dressed in the blue suit that was required at official engagements. Jack was never comfortable in the outfit but for some reason the material seemed more confining than usual. The starched white collar of his shirt bit into his throat and rubbed harshly against the raw scratch at the back of his neck. He resisted the urge to tug on his tie and kept his brown eyes staring resolutely ahead at the podium on the ramp; the Stargate was a dramatic back-drop. He was oblivious to the concerned looks his team-mate Daniel Jackson kept shooting his way and only semi-aware of his fellow Air Force officer, Captain Samantha Carter, beside him; she was maintaining her position with a stillness that he envied as was the Jaffa, Teal’c, who completed the line SG1 had made at the front of the gathering.

The Colonel’s mind absently followed the speech as he let his thoughts drift back to the first name on the list of the dead. Frank Cromwell. They’d been friends once, what seemed like a lifetime ago to Jack. Comrades who had joined Special Forces together, worked together side by side for years and who had grown into something closer; buddies. Their families had hung out when the missions were done; there had been barbeques, beer and fishing. Memories of happier times flashed briefly through his head and he inwardly shook them away. Their friendship had ended the day that Jack had watched as the helicopter sent to extract their team flew away leaving him behind, he reminded himself brusquely. For a moment, Jack felt himself caught in the flashback; dust and heat, pain and blood. Horror flicked through his eyes before his vision cleared and he was back in the gate room, back listening to the dignified Texan drawl of the man who now commanded him.

Cromwell had led the mission in Iraq; Jack’s team had been there as support. Bad intel, bad plan…the mission had gone South almost immediately. Jack knew if he closed his eyes, the whole nightmare would repeat in his head again; running from the Iraqi soldiers, bullets flying, the heat and the stink of it…the prison. Jack jerked his gaze back to the front just as Hammond brought his remarks to a close. Another man stepped forward; the SGC chaplain. Jack let his thoughts wander again as the comforting words of prayer echoed through the gate room.

He had held onto his anger at Cromwell until the end. The other man had tried to reach him, tried to make him understand how sorry he had been for his mistake, and Jack had shut him down. He wasn’t sure if he would have forgiven him even if he had known how things would turn out yet he couldn’t help question his decision to deny the other man forgiveness…he felt his body swaying slightly and corrected the movement. He glanced around briefly to check that nobody had noticed and his eyes collided with Daniel’s.

Are you OK? Daniel’s worry shone out from behind his blue eyes even hidden behind his glasses.

I’m fine.

The communication was silent but clear before Jack looked away. Daniel would have forgiven Cromwell, Jack thought bluntly. The younger man had so much compassion that he astonished Jack at times. Just look at the way he had forgiven Teal’c for the Jaffa’s part in what had happened to Sha’re, Jack mused. If Daniel could forgive Teal’c for that, then why couldn’t he have found the compassion to forgive Frank? Because Daniel was a better man than he was.

Jack suppressed the urge to sigh. In truth, his friendship with Daniel still surprised him. The younger man was sometimes too liberal, too esoteric for Jack. He had an impetuousness and naivety that drove Jack nuts on missions. They differed wildly in their interests and shared very little beyond their mission at the SGC in common yet Jack admired Daniel; admired his certainty in what was right. Jack would never admit it openly but Daniel inspired him to be a better man; to make the right decision, the moral decision. In many ways, despite the fact that he and Frank had known each other for longer, deep down Jack knew he had never been as close to Frank, who had been more similar to him in nature and outlook, than he was to Daniel.

He knew he could count on Daniel in a way that he could count on very few. All of SG1 were fiercely loyal to each other, bonded in a way only they could understand; their ties more personal than driven by military necessity. Jack knew Daniel would never leave him behind. If Daniel had been in Iraq…well, they both would have been captured, Jack considered with a flash of amusement, because Daniel would no doubt have jumped out of the damned helicopter to save him. Maybe Frank had been right after all…

‘I thought you were dead.’

Frank’s desperate words resounded in his head. He had made a mistake, one that had cost Jack four months of his life but in all honesty Jack knew he might have made the same mistake himself if their positions had been reversed. He was too similar to Frank; too trained in the same methods for it not to be a possibility. And despite the fact that the SGC adhered to the belief that their people were never left behind, there were times it was impossible to keep to it…like the situation with SG10.

Guilt nagged at Jack. He had recommended Henry Boyd as SG10 leader. Hank was a good man, a good soldier. He reminded Jack of Carter a little. They had the same single-minded focus on occasion and the same love of science. Jack knew Hank would have known the danger the black hole represented, just as Sam had known as soon as she had worked out why the signals from the planet were coming in so slow. Hank had tried to get his team home but it had been too late; too late for them to come back and too late for anyone to go and save them; SG10 had been left behind. Jack started at the sound of the bugle horn. The last note drifted away and Hammond dismissed the gathering.

Jack whirled around, already tugging on his tie as he headed for the locker room. He couldn’t wait to get out of the constricting suit and into the BDU. He and the male members of SG1 were the first to start changing.

‘Are you OK?’ Daniel asked when the muted conversation had reached enough of a level to hide the question in amongst the other chatter.

‘Fine.’ Jack said tersely, shoving his arms into the black t-shirt and pulling it over his head. It fell over the plane of his back hiding the cuts and burns from the explosion that had jumped the wormhole and saved the planet. His vision obscured he missed the anxious look Daniel and Teal’c exchanged.

Lou Ferretti cleared his throat. ‘Colonel?’

‘Yes, Ferretti?’ Jack asked as he concentrated on tying the laces on his boots.

‘Some of us are heading to Kelly’s to raise a toast to Hank and the others. I thought you and the rest of SG1 might want to join us.’

Jack yanked hard on the knot he had tied and didn’t answer immediately. He really didn’t want to go. The thought of spending the evening on his roof with a bottle of beer and a sky filled with stars seemed infinitely more preferable than a night stuck in a smoky booth watching the rest of the SG teams get drunk and sentimental over SG10. His duty to make an appearance as a senior officer warred with his innate desire to give it all a miss.

He belatedly realised Ferretti was waiting for an answer along with most of the changing room. ‘What time?’ he sighed.

‘About eight.’ Ferretti said with relief.

‘OK.’ Jack muttered.

He left before Ferretti could make any further comment and eschewed the elevator for the stairs. He was outside Sam’s lab before he realised where his feet had taken him. He peeked inside and saw Sam working away on her computer, still in her suit, her delicate features lit up from the glow of the monitor. He knocked on the door and she waved him inside.

‘Sir.’ Sam turned from the computer and looked at her CO inquisitively.

Jack searched for a reason he could give her for showing up in her lab. The answer came to him in a grateful flash. ‘There’s going to be some drinks at Kelly’s later for Hank and the rest of SG10.’ He explained clasping his hands behind his back. ‘So I was wondering if you wanted to go along, you know, raise a toast to SG10, have a drink.’

Her blue eyes widened a little in surprise.

‘I mean,’ Jack hurriedly added as he suddenly realised his words could be construed as asking her out on a date, ‘with the rest of us. SG1. All of us.’ He trailed away as she started smiling.

‘Yes, sir.’ Sam bit her lip to stop herself from grinning. ‘That would be nice.’

‘Nice.’ Jack repeated. He rocked back on his heels and took a deep breath. Somehow her agreement to attend made him feel better about going along himself. CO, he reminded himself, he wasn’t supposed to notice Sam was beautiful. Yeah, right, he thought derisively. ‘So,’ he said, gesturing at her computer as he tried to find a distraction, ‘what’re you working on?’

‘I was writing up my report about the effects of the black hole on our space-time.’ Sam said. ‘I still don’t understand how we experienced the time dilation in advance of the black hole’s gravity.’ Her brow creased as her sharp mind jumped back to her calculations. ‘It doesn’t make sense.’

‘Maybe the wormhole had something to do with it.’ Jack suggested as he leaned on the workbench.

‘Actually, I think you could be right, sir.’ Sam mused. ‘I have a theory that the warping of the space-time continuum by the wormhole may have caused the usual gravity effect of the black hole to distort and…’

He listened to her with half an ear. Frank had been right, Jack mused, Sam was hot when she technobabbled. Of course, Jack had cut Frank off mid-sentence on his observation; Sam got enough hassle about her looks without her CO seeming to add to it.

Sam trailed away as she realised Jack was staring at her. ‘Sir?’

‘So you think the wormhole acted as a filter and pushed the time distortion through faster and slowed the gravity effect?’ Jack repeated, unsure of the accuracy of what he had just said but hoping it made some kind of sense given he hadn’t really been listening.

‘Yes.’ Sam looked at him surprised. She had been sure he hadn’t really been paying attention.

‘That was some idea you had.’

‘Well, I can’t really prove it.’ Sam admitted.

‘I meant about jumping the wormhole.’ Jack clarified. He held her gaze. ‘You did a great job.’

Sam shifted a little uncomfortable with the praise. ‘Well, you did order me to think of something, sir.’

‘I’m sure you didn’t need the order, Carter.’ Jack admitted, remembering how he’d snapped at her. ‘I know things got a little tense back there.’

‘It was a tense situation, sir.’ Sam said, recognising the underlying apology in his words.

‘Yeah.’ Jack looked down at his clasped hands for a second. A movement by the door had him suddenly looking over to it.

‘Hey.’ Daniel said as he and Teal’c entered the lab. ‘We were looking for you.’

Jack straightened and waved at Sam. ‘I came to tell Carter about Ferretti’s little shin-dig later.’

Daniel glanced over at Sam. ‘You are coming, right?’ Most of the SG teams were military personnel and while Sam was an Air Force officer, she never made him feel like he was on the outside of the gathering as a civilian.

She nodded. ‘Of course.’

Jack looked over at Daniel. ‘So why were you guys looking for me anyway?’

‘Well, we…uh…’ Daniel shot a frantic look for assistance at Teal’c.

The Jaffa clasped his hands behind his back and pinned Jack with a serious stare. ‘We wish to offer you support during this most difficult time, O’Neill.’

Jack’s lips twitched at Daniel’s look of horrified exasperation at Teal’c’s statement of truth. ‘I’m OK, guys.’ He caught the archaeologist’s eyes. ‘Really.’

‘Are you sure about that, Jack?’ Daniel discarded his pretence of being unconcerned. ‘You’ve been pretty quiet since you woke up after the blast.’

Jack shrugged. ‘I’ve just had some things to think about,’ he held up a finger as Daniel opened his mouth to speak, ‘and no, I don’t want to talk about it.’ He held all their gazes for a moment until he got the acquiescence he wanted. He nodded. ‘I’ll see you all later.’ He strode out.

Daniel slumped onto a stool. ‘Well, that went well.’

‘You are incorrect, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c replied. ‘It did not go well at all.’

Sam’s lips twitched but she gave Daniel a reassuring pat on the arm. ‘He knows we’re here for him, Daniel.’

‘I don’t understand.’ Daniel said. ‘I mean I know he was upset about not being able to rescue Boyd and SG10.’

‘I do not believe Colonel O’Neill’s agitation to be about SG10.’ Teal’c murmured.

‘You think he’s upset about Cromwell?’ Sam bit her lip. ‘I guess that would make sense. They did serve together.’

‘But there has to be more to it.’ Daniel folded his arms resolutely. ‘Did Jack say anything to either of you?’

‘He did not.’ Teal’c confirmed.

Daniel’s eyes moved to Sam whose eyes slid away guiltily. ‘Sam?’

She sighed. ‘I read it in his file and I’m really not supposed to know about it.’

‘About what?’ Daniel pressed.

She looked from an expectant Teal’c to an anxious Daniel and back. ‘Colonel Cromwell was in charge of a mission in Iraq when Colonel O’Neill was in Special Forces.’ She wet her lips as they looked at her in stunned silence. ‘Cromwell left the Colonel behind and he ended up in an Iraqi prison for four months.’

‘God.’ Daniel muttered. Jack had told Daniel about his experience in the Iraqi prison and the archaeologist knew the military officer still bore the emotional and psychological scars of his experience. ‘No wonder Jack’s…’ He waved a hand expressively.

‘Indeed.’ Teal’c said.

‘So what do we do?’ Daniel sighed.

Sam patted his shoulder again. ‘What we are doing; being there for him if he needs us.’

o-O-o

Kelly’s was one of the better bars in the town and one of the most popular haunts of the military staff. It was owned by an old Marine Sergeant and he ran a tight operation; the place was clean, service was swift and brawls were few. It was split into two levels; the upper level had a long saloon bar, beer on tap and open tables and chairs. The lower level offered privacy; booths lined the walls, tables were smaller and a couple of waitresses made the rounds.

Sam scanned the room for her team, nodding the odd acknowledgement when her gaze hit someone she knew. She finally caught sight of Daniel’s blue checked shirt peeking out from a booth. She made her way over, shrugging out of her denim jacket as she went. She didn’t notice the admiring glances from the men in the bar at the way her simple outfit of blue jeans and a pink sweater showcased her trim figure.

‘Sam!’ Daniel waved at her in relief as he spotted her approach.

She slid into the booth beside him. ‘Sorry I’m late. My car wouldn’t start again and I don’t think the cab driver knew where he was going.’

‘You made it, Carter, that’s the important thing.’ Jack said, gesturing a hello at her with his beer bottle and hiding his own appreciation at her appearance by taking a long swallow of the amber liquid.

Sam reached for the beer on the table. ‘Mine?’

Teal’c nodded. ‘As you requested, Captain Carter.’ She had called Jack a few moments before with her order.

‘Thanks.’ Sam commented as she glanced around. ‘This place is packed.’

‘I think the whole base is here.’ Daniel agreed as he leaned back into the plush leather cushions and fiddled with the foil label on the beer Jack had pressed him into drinking.

Teal’c picked up his ginger ale. He still found the Tau’ri way of grieving to be somewhat unusual.

‘So, to SG10.’ Sam proposed.

They all clinked their various beverages together and settled back. Sam asked Daniel about the tribe he had discovered when he had been off-world with SG6 and he happily began to tell them all about it.

It took Jack a full minute to realise that Sam had omitted Cromwell and that Daniel and Teal’c hadn’t called her on it. He lowered his beer suspiciously. The details of his relationship with Cromwell only existed in the full version of his official record and that was sealed. The file held on record for public viewing barely noted they had served together. His brown eyes landed on Sam. He would bet all the money he had that she had gotten to his official record somehow; her hacking skills were second to none. He flushed unwillingly as the knowledge that she had read his record sank in. She knew everything he had done, everything he had been through and she still followed him, still trusted him? It was a minor miracle, he considered ruefully.

‘Sir, are you OK?’ Sam’s question broke through his musing and he realised suddenly that he had been staring at her.

‘Fine, Captain.’ Jack said easily.

Sam frowned but returned to her conversation with Daniel. Jack and Teal’c contributed comments occasionally and it was with some surprise that she found she had finished her beer.

‘You want another one?’ Jack asked, already moving to his feet. ‘Daniel? Teal’c?’

‘Thanks, sir, but just a diet soda for me this time.’ Sam responded.

‘Me too.’ Daniel added.

‘I will imbibe another ginger ale, O’Neill.’ Teal’c said firmly.

Jack’s eyebrows quirked expressively. ‘Two diet sodas and one ginger ale it is then.’ He walked away to the bar.

Sam excused herself to the bathroom. She entered the small ladies’ room and smiled at the female officer from SG7 stood in front of the mirror while she went into one of the stalls. A moment later she heard the other woman leave. She flushed the toilet and took a moment to check the zipper on her jeans. She was about to leave the stall when she heard the bathroom door bang open and another couple of women enter laughing loudly.

‘I tell you that Doctor Jackson is so hot.’

Sam bit her lip to keep from laughing and decided to hold out on leaving the stall to eavesdrop on what the women were saying about the archaeologist. She vaguely recognised their voices as nurses assigned to the infirmary.

‘I definitely wouldn’t kick him out of bed.’ The woman continued.

‘I don’t know. Don’t you think he’s a bit…geeky?’ Her friend rejoined.

‘I like geeky.’ The first woman sounded a little defensive.

‘I prefer Colonel O’Neill. Now that man is gorgeous. Those eyes…’ There was a heartfelt sigh.

‘Never mind his eyes; that butt of his…’

Giggles ensued and it was all Sam could do not to join in.

‘It’s a real shame he’s taken.’

Sam kept still surprised at the turn of the conversation. She frowned. She hadn’t realised the Colonel was seeing anyone. Not that it was any of her business; he was her CO. Sure she’d had a crush on him once but nothing could happen between them. She resolutely ignored her churning stomach at the idea of Jack with someone else.

‘Who’s he with?’

Apparently she wasn’t the only one surprised, Sam mused.

‘You know…Captain Carter.’

Sam’s mouth fell open.

‘I think you’ve got that wrong. Just because they’re on the same team; she must be with him? Heck, if I had a dollar for every time some idiot soldier has claimed that I’ve been sleeping with a male CO, I’d be a rich woman.’

Sam silently applauded the other woman.

‘I’m just saying what I’ve heard.’

‘Like I said, you’re wrong. Besides, haven’t you heard the latest? He had a real go at her in the control room apparently when they found out about SG10.’

‘Really? Why?’

There was a derisive snort. ‘She suggested they keep watching the black hole on the video even though they could see SG10 dying right in front of them.’

‘No! God, that’s cold.’

‘You know some think she still might be a Goa’uld, you know how she was a host to one? And I have to say I hear something like that and I have to agree with them. I mean, if you were fully human, you just wouldn’t suggest something like that, would you?’

‘I know. I’m surprised she had the guts to show her face here.’ There was a sigh. ‘How do I look?’

‘Fab-u-lous.’

‘Let’s go then.’

Sam heard the door bang shut behind the two women as they departed and the bathroom fell silent. She put the lid down on the toilet, slowly sinking to sit on it. She was shaking in reaction. Just when she thought things were back to normal; that she could be herself again…

She knew her experience as a host to the Tok’ra symbiote Jolinar had left her irretrievably altered; physically, emotionally, psychologically. She wasn’t the same Samantha Carter that had existed before Jolinar yet she was trying to be; she was trying so hard to ignore the dreams and the occasional flashes of memories that she knew weren’t hers. She covered her face with shaking hands and was surprised when they touched wetness. She was crying. She swiped angrily at the tears. She shouldn’t let the comments of two bitchy women get to her, she thought furiously. She’d just saved the world; what more did they want?

But they had been right about her suggestion to watch the black hole, the voice in her head whispered insidiously. She had been so rapt up in seeing an actual black hole that she had forgotten the human cost until Colonel O’Neill had sharply reminded her. He’d been so angry and disappointed in her. Maybe he still was. Her breath caught in her throat on a sob.

The door to the bathroom creaked open and she held her breath, determined to remain silent and unnoticed.

‘Sam? Are you in here?’

Daniel’s concerned voice had Sam’s eyes widening in horror. She rubbed at her face trying to eliminate evidence of her crying jag. ‘Daniel, this is the ladies’ bathroom.’

‘Well, you’re the only one in here right now.’ Daniel said. ‘Are you OK?’

‘I’m fine, Daniel. I’ll be out in a minute.’ Sam said, grabbing at some toilet tissue to help blow her nose.

‘You sound upset.’ Daniel noted.

‘I’m OK. Go back to the table.’ Sam said desperately.

She heard the door to the bathroom open again and she gave a sigh of relief. She undid the lock on her door and stepped out. She stopped abruptly at the sight of the archaeologist in front of the sinks. ‘Daniel.’ She sighed. Her red eyes and tear-stained cheeks were evident in the harsh lighting.

Daniel took a step forward and pulled her into a hug. ‘You can’t tell me something isn’t wrong.’

‘It’s nothing.’ Sam immediately denied everything. She pulled away from him and moved past him to the sink. ‘I’m fine.’

‘Sam…’ Daniel began his protest as she splashed water over her cheeks, repairing most of the damage.

‘Please, Daniel.’ Sam looked over at him pleadingly as she mopped up the moisture with more tissue and threw them in the trash. ‘Just drop it, OK?’

Daniel nodded slowly. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘Thank you.’ She reached over and squeezed his hand before she left the bathroom. She headed back to the booth with Daniel in her wake. She fleetingly noticed how concerned Teal’c and Jack looked as she grabbed her jacket.

‘You OK, Carter?’ Jack asked mildly. He frowned at the sight of her pink nose. Had she been crying?

‘Actually, sir, I’m not feeling too well. I think I’m going to call a cab and head home.’ Sam said swiftly.

Jack’s decision was equally fast. ‘I’ll drive you.’

‘No, really, that’s OK. I don’t want to disturb you, sir.’ Sam said, shaking her head. ‘I’ll be fine with a cab.’

‘You shouldn’t wait for a cab if you’re not feeling well, Captain. I’ll drive you.’ Jack said insistently. ‘Daniel, can you take Teal’c back to the base?’

Daniel nodded as he grabbed his own jacket. ‘Sure but…’

‘Great.’ Jack slid out of the booth and gestured at the door. ‘Shall we?’

Sam sighed and gave in. The four of them parted outside of Kelly’s main entrance. Jack led the way to his truck and opened the passenger door for her before getting in himself. They pulled out into the traffic and stopped for a red light. She shivered.

‘Cold?’ Jack asked.

‘A little.’ Sam admitted.

He turned up the heat. ‘It’ll warm up soon.’ He sneaked another look at her. She’d definitely been crying in the bathroom but about what? ‘So you want to tell me what’s really going on?’

She looked away, staring ahead out of the windshield at the streetlights. ‘I don’t want to talk about it, sir.’

Jack pulled a face. ‘OK. If that’s what you want.’

She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and resolutely refused to give into them.

‘I just want you to know if you want to talk, I’m available.’ Jack said awkwardly. He lifted a hand off the wheel. ‘Or there’s Daniel.’ He waited a beat. ‘Teal’c’s pretty good with the listening thing, not so much on the actual talking.’ He glanced over and was pleased to see the hint of a smile tugging on her lips. ‘We’re all here for you, Sam.’ He said.

The use of her first name had her head turning towards him. She softened at the sincerity in his face. ‘I know, Jack.’

The use of his first name had him breathing in sharply; she rarely used it. He stopped for another red light and looked over at her. In the quiet darkness, the cab of his truck suddenly seemed incredibly small and intimate. He gripped the steering wheel and focused on the lights, driving away smoothly as they changed to green.

Sam looked over at her CO, at the way his greying hair was ruffled untidily, at the scratch along his neck. He could so easily have died implementing her plan just like Cromwell…he really was an incredible man, she mused absently.

Oh no.

No, she wasn’t doing this again, Sam thought furiously. She was not developing another crush on Jack. It was bad enough she’d developed one after the whole Antarctica incident but she’d managed to put that behind her…well, more honestly she hadn’t really thought about it since the whole Jolinar business had provided her with something of a distraction. So, she admired him, she considered defiantly, so what? Jack had a lot of qualities to admire especially given what she knew he had been through with the Iraqi prison…how he had managed to work alongside Cromwell at all was a mystery to her but there again, she mused, Daniel had managed to set aside his anger at Teal’c too. She sighed and fingered the edge of her jacket. She hated the idea that she might have disappointed Jack with her remark about watching the black hole.

‘I’m sorry.’ The words tumbled out of her before she could stop them.

Jack turned to her surprised. ‘What for?’

‘For suggesting we should watch the black hole.’ Sam felt her cheeks heat in remembered mortification. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’

‘You were thinking it was a unique scientific opportunity.’ Jack replied easily.

‘I know but I forgot about SG10.’ Sam admitted, looking down at her hands.

They halted at another light and Jack glanced over at her. ‘You just got focused on the wrong thing.’

‘So you don’t think…’ Sam hesitated about asking the rest of the question.

‘Don’t think what?’ Jack prompted.

She took a deep breath. ‘That my making the suggestion had anything to do with Jolinar?’

‘No.’ Jack shot back. He frowned and looked over at her concerned. ‘Do you?’

‘No. Of course not. It’s just…’ Sam shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘And yet it so obviously does.’ Jack said lightly.

She smiled sadly. ‘I was eavesdropping on a couple of the women in the bathroom and they…’ she shook her head again. ‘Like I said it doesn’t matter.’

Jack felt a spark of anger at the unknown women who’d put the thought into her head. ‘You’re you, Sam.’

‘I’m different.’ Sam confessed quietly. She glanced over at him unsure at his reaction to her statement and was taken aback to find him looking back at her with nothing but reassurance.

‘Of course you are.’ Jack said holding her gaze. ‘Nobody goes through something like that and for it not to have an effect.’

Sam nodded slowly. She was certain to her bones that he was thinking of his own prison experience. ‘I still have flashbacks.’ She confessed quietly. ‘They’ve been better since we met the Tok’ra but they still sneak up on me sometimes.’

Jack delayed answering until he pulled away from the junction, making the turn into her neighbourhood. ‘Why haven’t you said anything before?’

‘I don’t know.’ Sam admitted. ‘I guess I’m just sick of being treated like a freak.’

There was a hint of anger in her voice and Jack knew it was directed at the women who’d upset her earlier and not at him. ‘The people who matter don’t think you’re a freak, Sam.’ He pulled to a stop outside of her apartment building and turned to her. ‘And you don’t have to go through this alone.’ He reached out impulsively to cover her hand with his.

Sam took a deep breath and met his gaze bravely. ‘Neither do you, Jack.’ She saw the flicker of shock in his eyes before they settled on her with reluctant admiration.

‘Touché.’ Jack said wryly. He pointed at her. ‘You are definitely you.’

Sam’s lips quirked at the dry remark.

Jack sighed and gestured at her expressively. ‘You suggested observing the black hole because that’s who you are, Sam. You’re innately curious about scientific stuff. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it’s just who you are.’ He looked away from her. ‘Just like I couldn’t forgive Frank for what he did to me in Iraq because that’s who I am.’

Sam assimilated what he had said to her and frowned. ‘You’re feeling guilty about not forgiving him after what he did to you?’

Her outrage comforted Jack in a weird way. ‘He was my friend once.’ He said simply. ‘But I couldn’t forgive him and even if we went back in time and did everything over, I still wouldn’t forgive him.’

‘Because that’s not who you are.’ Sam sighed in understanding. ‘You still worked with him though.’

‘Because that’s what it took to get the job done.’ Jack said, holding her gaze again.

She shivered.

‘You’re cold.’ Jack said concerned. ‘You should probably get inside.’

‘Yeah…’ Sam hesitated, torn on whether to ask him in. There wasn’t anything wrong with inviting him just to talk, was there?

Jack read the conflict in her eyes and his heart started beating so loudly in his chest, he was sure she would hear it. He was her CO; he couldn’t accept an invitation to go inside with her alone but if Sam needed to talk…he couldn’t refuse her, could he?

His cell phone rang and broke the tense silence. He grabbed it and stabbed at the receive button. ‘O’Neill.’ He listened for a moment and sighed. ‘OK, Sergeant. No, you just need to contact Doctor Jackson, Teal’c’s with him. I’ll contact Captain Carter.’ He ended the call and turned to her with a rueful smile. ‘Ah, that was the base. We’re being recalled. It looks like SG6 have been taken hostage by that tribe Daniel discovered when he was with them.’

She smiled back at him a little sadly and settled back as he fired up the truck again. ‘I guess we’re heading back to the base then, sir.’

He nodded absently noting her use of ‘sir’ and pulled away, leaving her apartment building behind them. It was back to the base for both of them.

fin.