Fanfiction: A Father's Choice

[rachel500]

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S2 Family
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Jack/Teal'c friendship.  Teal'c/Drey'auc.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.  Written for entertainment purposes only.

 

A Father's Choice

Teal’c smoothed a hand over his son’s forehead. Rya’c stirred in his sleep at the touch but didn’t wake. It had been an exhausting day for the young boy; the wormhole journey to the Land of Light, getting acquainted with Tuplo and his people, settling into the comfortable quarters in the palace which would be home for Rya’c and his mother for the foreseeable future. Teal’c felt a twinge of guilt. His wife – ex-wife – and his son were separated from their own people and forced to live amongst strangers because of the choice he had made.

It had been his decision to help the Tau’ri strangers that Apophis had taken prisoner; his decision to stand with them against his former False God and his decision to leave Chulak and his family in an attempt to win freedom for his people from their bondage to the Goa’uld. It had been a moment long in the making; years of faith in Apophis as a God wavering under Bra’tac’s tutelage and his own observations; too many times where he had been forced to kill simply on Apophis’s whim. The human prisoners with their strange clothing and technology; with their lack of knowledge of the Goa’uld; with their independent spirit and verve…it had given him hope that perhaps they had escaped the touch of the Goa’uld and could truly oppose them. It had given him the opportunity to finally fight for what he believed in and he could not in all honesty say that he regretted it; he knew in his heart and soul it had been the right thing to do but his choice had meant leaving his family behind and he regretted that.

He clasped his hands together and bowed his head. He had never meant to marry or to be a father. His first love, Sho’nac, had broken his heart when she had entered the temple and become a priestess and he had vowed never to let a woman close again. As his stature as a warrior grew there were no end of women happy to spend time with him if he wished for female company and as he realised the depths of Apophis’s depravity he had been relieved that he had no wife or child for the False God to use against him. All that had changed when he had met Drey’auc.

Young, beautiful, feisty; she had been neither impressed with his status nor awed by it. She had roused his curiosity and his interest. Their courtship had been swift and Teal’c had found himself married and with a child in a short space of time. There had been a moment early on when he had debated whether he should pursue their relationship but he had believed that his fate was to be the First Prime of Apophis; that his dream of somehow escaping the rule of Apophis, of any Goa’uld was hopeless. Had he believed otherwise he knew he would never have asked Drey’auc to marry him or acquiesced to her request for a child…had he foreseen the future he would not have done either, yet looking at the sleeping face of his son, he could not regret that decision despite the ache in his heart at knowing how he had hurt him nor the competing sense of emptiness he felt at their absence in the life he had chosen.

‘He looks so peaceful.’ Drey’auc’s soft voice drifted over from the doorway.

‘He is asleep.’ Teal’c confirmed without turning to look at her.

She entered the room and pulled her cloak tighter around her body. ‘We should talk, Teal’c. We have much to discuss.’

Teal’c frowned. She was right but such a discussion needed to be conducted out of earshot of their son. He stood slowly and gently stroked his son’s cheek once again before he turned around and indicated for Drey’auc to precede him out of the room.

They walked into the small courtyard that connected the four small rooms that now constituted Drey’auc’s home. It was a clear night; the stars shone brightly in the sky and a warm breeze lifted Drey’auc’s dark shoulder length hair as she took a seat by the central fountain. Teal’c sat beside her; close enough that they could talk quietly but without actually touching. There was silence with both Jaffa unwilling to begin.

Teal’c eventually moved. He clasped his hands in front of him, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. ‘I have failed you.’

Drey’auc’s dark eyes flickered toward him. ‘You have saved us.’

‘It was I who placed your lives in danger.’ Teal’c noted softly. ‘Apophis used you and Rya’c to punish me for my betrayal, to try and defeat the Tau’ri through me.’

‘And he failed.’ Drey’auc impulsively reached out and clasped his arm comfortingly. Teal’c looked at her hand surprised and she withdrew it. She drew her cloak around her and looked away towards the room that held their child. ‘Tell me, Teal’c; do you think of us at all?’

Teal’c felt the beginnings of his anger stir. ‘What kind of a question is that, woman?’

‘Then why did you not return?’ Drey’auc shot back, her own temper heating the words.

‘I could not.’ Teal’c growled. ‘You should understand that it was too dangerous…’

‘No, Teal’c.’ Drey’auc interrupted him. ‘Not to return while Apophis still lived, I understand, but when you believed him dead…why did you not return then with Master Bra’tac?’

‘You think Apophis is the only Goa’uld?’ Teal’c retorted. ‘He is not.’

‘So what do you intend? To kill them all?’ Drey’auc responded angrily. ‘It cannot be done.’

A muscle worked in Teal’c’s jaw as he controlled his building anger. ‘It will be done.’ His dark eyes met hers. ‘Our people will be free; I swear this.’

Drey’auc looked at the fierce determination in his set face and sighed. ‘And what of us, Teal’c?’

‘You will be safe here.’ Teal’c answered, choosing to misunderstand her question.

She shook her head at him. ‘That is not what I meant, husband, and you know it.’

‘I am no longer your husband.’ Teal’c pointed out.

Drey’auc flinched at the harsh truth of his words. ‘I was wrong to dissolve our marriage, Teal’c.’

Teal’c felt himself weaken at her evident sadness and regret. ‘You were right.’ He met her disbelieving eyes at his admission. ‘I was not there to provide for you and our child. I no longer blame you for your decision.’ He blamed himself.

Drey’ auc shifted a little uncertainly on the bench. ‘I never stopped loving you, Teal’c.’

Her words warmed him; comforted him. His harsh features softened. ‘Nor I you.’

‘But not enough,’ Drey’auc noted wryly, ‘or you would not have chosen to leave us at all.’

‘It is not that simple.’ Teal’c muttered unhappily.

‘It is.’ She held up a hand to prevent him arguing. ‘I am proud of you, Teal’c, I am, and you know I support your fight against the Goa’uld, but as your wife,’ she shook her head as she corrected herself, ‘as the woman who loves you, believe me when I say that it is that simple.’ She met his eyes firmly. ‘I would not have chosen to leave you.’

Teal’c couldn’t hold her gaze and dropped his to the floor.

‘I have always known that I was not your first love, Teal’c.’ Drey’auc commented sadly. ‘I know you only married me and had Rya’c because I wished it…’

‘I do not regret our marriage or our son.’ Teal’c said strongly, flushing with guilt at his earlier musings.

Drey’auc sighed. ‘I know how much you love our son, Teal’c, but I know you. I know as a warrior you would have preferred to face Apophis unburdened; to have provided him with nothing, no weakness that he could use against you.’ There was a silence for a long moment as both of them absorbed the words spoken and the truth of them.

‘When will you leave?’ Drey’auc asked eventually.

‘Tomorrow.’ Teal’c admitted gruffly.

‘Rya’c will be disappointed.’

‘He will understand.’ Teal’c argued.

‘No he will not.’ Drey’auc contradicted him with a short humourless laugh. ‘Have you learned nothing from this?’

‘I will be able to return more often and more easily now you are here.’ Teal’c said defensively. ‘My son will know me again.’

‘Do not make promises you do not mean to keep, Teal’c.’ Drey’auc cautioned.

Anger flashed through Teal’c’s dark eyes. ‘You doubt my word, woman?’

‘On the contrary, I know your dedication as a warrior to the fight.’ She cupped his cheek with her hand. ‘And just as I know that sacrificing your place with your son pains you, Teal’c, I know it is a sacrifice you will make.’

He had no response to her words.

She dropped her hand and stood. ‘You have kept your word and brought my son home. You have provided us with a safe haven and protection from Apophis.’ She smiled forlornly at him. ‘I will raise our son, Teal’c, and I will be here for you should you…’ her voice cut out, overcome with emotion. She took a deep breath. ‘But you have your freedom, Teal’c.’ She walked away swiftly before he could protest.

Teal’c stared after her for a long time but he didn’t make to follow her; he had made his choice.

o-O-o

‘Thanks for helping me this.’ Samantha Carter smiled at the Colonel as he placed the final box of her belongings on the floor of her bedroom. She glanced around swiftly, still unable to believe that she was finally in her apartment after months of being restricted to the base after being taken as a host by a symbiote. Her gut churned uneasily. If she was honest it felt a little scary being back in the outside world.

‘No problem, Carter.’ Jack O’Neill turned around to look at her just in time to catch the faint hint of fear flit across her delicate features. He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Weird, huh?’

Her gaze snapped to him and she swallowed the automatic denial at his understanding gaze. She grinned sheepishly. ‘A little.’

‘You’ll be back in the swing of it in no time.’ Jack assured her.

Sam nodded quickly and reached for the linen to start making her bed. She wasn’t avoiding the topic, she told herself firmly; there was just a lot that had to be done. Her gaze on the sheet she was smoothing over the bed, she missed the way Jack smirked at her knowingly.

‘Sam, I’m finished with the photos.’ Daniel Jackson’s voice preceded his entry into the bedroom and she straightened to greet him, rubbing a hand over her forehead.

‘That’s great. Thanks, Daniel.’

The archaeologist nodded and pushed his glasses back up his nose. ‘Is there anything else you need or…’

‘Well, I guess we’re done.’ Sam admitted reluctantly. She waved at a hand at the two men although her eyes skipped over both of them. ‘If you want to get going, I should be fine from here.’

Jack and Daniel exchanged a look.

‘I don’t know about you but I’m starved.’ Jack said easily.

‘Me too.’ Daniel added.

Sam looked at both of them suspiciously and wasn’t fooled by their bland looks of innocence. ‘It’s OK. I’ll be fine on my own.’ Her tone was stiff with defensiveness.

‘Of course you will, Carter,’ Jack agreed breezily, ‘but there’s nothing wrong with us all sharing a meal together to welcome you home before we leave you to it, is there?’

Sam’s blue eyes narrowed on Jack’s. She cursed inwardly at his absolutely still poker face and sighed. ‘Well, OK, but it’s my treat.’ She said. ‘As a thank you for everything you guys have done.’

‘Suits me.’ Jack acquiesced to her condition quickly and Daniel nodded his agreement.

‘Of course, I don’t actually have any food.’ Sam realised belatedly.

‘No problem.’ Jack shrugged. ‘I’ll go and pick up some take-out. You want Chinese?’

‘Sounds good.’ Daniel said his stomach rumbling at the thought.

‘Sure.’ Sam agreed.

‘Usual orders?’ Jack checked as he reached for his car keys already making his way towards the door. A moment later, they heard the front door of the apartment close.

Daniel waved at the bed. ‘You want a hand?’

She threw him a pillow and a case in response and he happily set about his task.

‘So are you looking forward to going to Washington?’ Daniel asked absently. General Hammond had informed them of the trip to see the President when he had broken the good news about Sam’s restriction being lifted; Jack and Sam were receiving medals for their role in saving the Earth from being invaded by Apophis.

‘Yeah.’ Sam answered, stuffing her own pillow into a case and shaking it vigorously. ‘I’m hoping to get a chance to visit with my Dad once the medal ceremony is done.’ She looked over at him. ‘You should be getting a medal too.’

He shrugged. ‘I’m not doing this to get a medal.’

She smiled at him gently. ‘All the more reason why you should get one.’ She pointed out. ‘Besides, the Colonel and I would never have gone on that mission if it hadn’t been for your belief that Apophis was going to invade.’

‘I don’t mind.’ Daniel insisted. ‘Anyway, I’m hoping General Hammond will agree to let me go back to Abydos instead.’

‘It’s a year, isn’t it?’ Sam mused. ‘In Abydos time?’

‘Yeah.’ Daniel sighed and moved to assist Sam with the duvet. He looked a little downhearted and Sam frowned.

‘What’s the matter?’

Daniel looked up at her quizzically before her question registered fully. ‘It’s nothing, really. It’s just…having to go back and tell Kasuf that I haven’t been able to find Sha’re or Skaara…’ he sighed, ‘I can’t say I’m looking forward to it.’

She rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

They continued on in silence making the bed for a few minutes before Daniel spoke again.

‘Sam, has Jack seemed a little quiet to you since Teal’c left?’

Sam smoothed her grandmother’s quilt over the bed. ‘He’s not exactly a talkative kind of guy, Daniel.’

‘I know but…’ Daniel folded his arms across his chest as his blue eyes caught hers. ‘I don’t know. He seems…off.’

She bit her lip as her mind skipped over how the Colonel had acted since Teal’c’s departure with his family to the Land of Light. Daniel was right; Jack had been quiet.

‘You don’t think he’s worried Teal’c won’t come back?’ Daniel mused out loud.

‘No.’ Sam replied. ‘I don’t think that’s it.’ She said slowly.

‘But you have a theory, don’t you?’ Daniel realised.

‘Maybe.’ She admitted sitting down on the bed.

Daniel gestured at her impatiently. ‘Well?’

She sighed a little uncomfortable with the discussion. ‘I was just thinking that it must have been difficult for him seeing Teal’c reunited with his family.’ She paused. ‘With his son.’

Daniel closed his eyes and whirled away from the bed, gesturing wildly. ‘I’m an idiot!’ He came to a halt and turned back to her. ‘Seeing Teal’c with Rya’c must have reminded him about Charlie.’

Sam nodded at the mention of Jack’s late son. ‘I think so.’ Her fingers worried at the quilt absently.

Daniel slumped onto the other side of the bed. ‘I can’t believe I missed it.’

‘We missed it.’ Sam corrected.

‘He was just so great with Rya’c, I mean,’ Daniel waved a hand in the air, ‘after the brainwashing got sorted out, it never even occurred to me.’

Sam acknowledged his words with a smile. ‘He must have been a great Dad.’

‘Yeah.’ Daniel sighed. He caught her gaze. ‘I guess we can keep his mind off things tonight at least.’

They were both silent for a moment.

‘Maybe we should get some beer.’ Sam suggested.

Daniel smiled ruefully. ‘Good idea.’

o-O-o

‘Unscheduled off-world activation!’

The technician’s voice resounded through the speakers as General Hammond hurried after the members of SG1 as they made their way from the briefing room to the control room.

‘What’s going on?’ Hammond asked briskly.

‘We’re receiving an IDC, sir.’ The technician said nervously.

‘It’s Teal’c.’ Sam said, leaning over the young woman’s shoulder to peer at the computer monitor.

‘Teal’c?’ Jack frowned. ‘I thought he wasn’t due back for a couple of days.’

Sam shrugged; she didn’t have an answer for him.

Hammond nodded at the technician. ‘Open the iris.’ He noted with a wry smile that the rest of SG1 were already making their way down the stairs to the gate room.

Jack waited impatiently at the bottom of the ramp. He shoved his hands in the pockets of the blue BDU pants to stop himself from fidgeting. Sam stood beside him on one side and Daniel on the other; all watching the shimmering blue horizon with concern.

Teal’c stepped through and onto the ramp, striding down the metal with grim purpose.

‘Teal’c.’ Jack called out in greeting. ‘We weren’t expecting to see you.’

‘Did I not say I would return, O’Neill?’ Teal’c growled.

Jack raised his eyebrows at the angry tone. ‘Well, sure, but…’

The Jaffa turned on his heel and strode out of the gate room, leaving his three human team-mates staring after him anxiously.

‘Well, that was new.’ Jack commented. ‘Did he look a little mad to you? Because he seemed a little mad to me.’

‘Maybe a little.’ Sam said hesitantly.

‘One of us should…uh…probably go talk to him.’ Daniel suggested adjusting his glasses.

‘Yeah.’ Jack looked from Daniel to Sam and back. ‘Why are you looking at me?’ He demanded.

Sam and Daniel looked at each other and back to Jack.

‘Well,’ Sam began, ‘you are our team leader, sir. Teal’c respects that. He’ll probably respond better to you…uh…talking to him.’

‘Team leader. That’s right.’ Daniel jumped on the excuse happily. ‘And besides,’ he added hurriedly as Jack turned to glare at him, ‘you have that whole warrior thing going on between the two of you.’

‘Teal’c considers you a warrior.’ Jack retorted.

‘He does?’ Daniel blinked at the older man disconcerted. ‘I mean, he does?’

‘Sure he does.’ Jack said blithely.

Daniel’s eyes narrowed on him in suspicion. ‘You’re only saying that to get out of talking to Teal’c.’

‘I’m sure you’ll be fine, sir.’ Sam said cheerfully in reassurance.

Jack sighed as he looked at the two of them smiling back at him. ‘Right.’ He turned and headed out the gate room.

He found Teal’c in the locker room. The Jaffa sat on a bench staring into his locker contemplatively. Jack sat down beside him. He cast a look at the locker and after failing to see what Teal’c could be looking at with such fierce determination came to the conclusion that whatever was going on with the Jaffa had nothing to do with the contents of his locker. Unfortunately. He had an idea that would be an easier discussion. He clasped his hands together loosely and pressed his lips together thoughtfully.

‘I’m a man of few words, Teal’c.’ Jack began and stopped.

Teal’c arched an eyebrow. ‘Indeed.’ His dark eyes met Jack’s in shared humour for a second before the Jaffa turned away. ‘I do not wish to discuss it.’

‘OK.’ Jack said, getting to his feet. ‘I’m glad we had this little talk.’ He stepped around the bench and patted Teal’c’s shoulder on his way out of the locker room. His hand was almost on the handle when the Jaffa called his name. He turned back and looked at him questioningly.

‘You are a father.’ Teal’c forced the words out.

Jack felt his heart sink but he knew how much it had cost Teal’c to begin so he took a step back toward his friend. ‘I was.’ He acknowledged quietly.

‘Rya’c did not understand my decision to return.’ Teal’c commented.

‘Of course, he didn’t.’ Jack said, surprised Teal’c believed Rya’c would have understood. ‘He’s a kid, Teal’c. All he wants to do is spend time with his dad.’ There was an ache in his chest; it was a lesson he had learned too late to make things right with his own son.

‘You would be with your son if he lived.’ Teal’c surmised.

Jack tried hard not to flinch at the Jaffa’s words. ‘I honestly don’t know, Teal’c.’ He said eventually. ‘The truth is…’ he took a deep breath, ‘the truth is that if my son,’ his jaw clenched and he took another breath to continue, ‘if Charlie were still alive, I probably wouldn’t be here.’ In practical terms, some other schmuck would have taken the mission to Abydos, Jack mused; some other Colonel would have led SG1. He pulled his mind back to his Jaffa friend.

‘In my place…’ Teal’c stopped abruptly unable to continue.

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand through his short brown and grey hair, ruffling the strands into disarray. He sat back down on the bench. Neither man looked at each other but both stared into the open locker.

‘If I really was in your place,’ Jack said carefully, ‘I know I wouldn’t want my son to live as a slave. I know I would want a better life for him and I know I would fight to my last breath to give him that. And I think that’s why you’ve made the choice you’ve made. So I think in your place I would do the same.’

Teal’c shifted infinitesimally beside him. He considered Jack’s words carefully, turning them over in his own mind before he finally turned to look at Jack. He could see the strain of their discussion in the deeply carved lines on the other man’s face. ‘Thank you, my friend.’

Jack nodded. He patted Teal’c’s shoulder again and stood up. ‘You want to go find Daniel and Carter? Grab something to eat?’

Teal’c inclined his head. ‘I require a shower, O’Neill.’

‘Well, I didn’t like to say anything.’ Jack joked, amusement sparking in his brown eyes again. He tried to sober at Teal’c’s raised eyebrow but felt the laughter bubbling back up at the slight outrage in the Jaffa’s dark eyes. ‘Meet you in the commissary?’ he asked breezily.

Teal’c nodded sharply and watched his friend depart. In many ways he did not mind O’Neill’s amusement at his expense; perhaps it was just payment for forcing his friend to speak of such a painful subject. He knew despite the circumstances he was the lucky one; Rya’c lived. There would be time in the future to mend the hurts his absence had caused in their relationship. And one day, Teal’c mused as he began to strip, one day Rya’c might even understand the choice his father had made.

fin.