Fanfiction: Fundamental Beliefs

[rachel500]

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S5 Threshold
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Teal'c/Team friendship.  Daniel/Janet friendship.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.  Written for entertainment purposes only.

 

Fundamental Beliefs

Janet Fraiser closed the door on the isolation room, gave a nod of acknowledgement to the guards on duty and walked away quickly. She had shooed General Hammond and the other members of SG1 from the room after the end of the Jaffa rite that had saved Teal’c’s life and his very sense of self. She would have asked Bra’tac, his mentor, to leave him to rest too but her Jaffa patient was doing well and it was evident that the two wanted to talk.

She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her white medical coat as she walked hurriedly to her office, her heels clicking sharply on the linoleum. She entered the small room and shut the door behind her. She leaned on it heavily and closed her sore eyes, her head falling back to rest against the door. She was so tired. She needed sleep. She needed to go home and hug her daughter…not that Cassie liked being hugged anymore. The little girl she had adopted had turned into a typical teenager so fast that Janet wondered how it had happened. They were more likely to argue than hug most days. She sighed and pushed away from the door.

She checked her watch. Doctor Brightman would start her shift in another hour. She could hang on that long before she headed home. Janet pushed off the door and took a step across the floor to the coffee-pot. It was empty. She grimaced, unable to think about making the effort to refill it. She slumped into her office chair and stared at the computer unseeingly. She should write up her report on Teal’c’s treatment, Janet mused. He would need to be monitored for another twenty-four hours to ensure there were no adverse effects for either him or the Goa’uld symbiote he carried. She shook away her lethargy and reached for her keyboard.

The sharp knock on her door made her start and she grimaced heavily as she called for the person to enter.

Samantha Carter poked her head around the corner of the door. ‘Hey. Do you have a minute?’

Janet waved her in, absently noting how pale Sam was looking as she entered and closed the door. The blonde Air Force officer looked as exhausted as Janet felt. She made a mental note to check Sam’s iron levels the next time she took a blood test. It looked like a mild case of anaemia.

‘I just spoke with my Dad to update him,’ Sam began, ‘and he was wondering if it would be possible for the Tok’ra to get a copy of the medical data collated while Teal’c was going through the rite for scientific purposes.’

Janet frowned at Sam. ‘Why?’

‘They think it may be useful information in how the Goa’uld symbiote helps to keep the Jaffa alive.’ Sam explained as she perched on Janet’s desk. ‘Selmak thinks if they understood more about why the Jaffa physiology is so dependent on the Goa’uld, how it reacts when the symbiote is absent, they may be able to find a way for the Jaffa to live without the Goa’uld.’

Janet raised a sceptical eyebrow; she wasn’t so certain the Tok’ra’s motives were all that selfless.

Sam caught the look in her eye. ‘I know it sounds convenient and if it was anyone other than my Dad…’

‘I get it, Sam.’ Janet assured her, leaning back in her chair and wondering if she had any aspirin in her desk drawer. ‘I guess I’m just not comfortable sharing this data without Teal’c’s permission.’

‘So, if I get Teal’c’s permission then…?’ Sam grabbed onto the small ray of hope that Janet had offered.

‘If you get his explicit consent that he’s happy for me to share his medical records then I will.’ Janet confirmed, realising that she had left little room to manoeuvre.

Sam nodded quickly. ‘Thanks, Janet.’ She gave a small grimace and rubbed the back of her neck as though trying to ease some tension. ‘I’m hoping that if we share something with them it will mean they might actually give us the za’tarc information I keep asking for.’

‘They’re still stonewalling you on that?’ Janet asked sympathetically. The whole za’tarc incident had been tough for Sam. Initially they had thought Sam might be a za’tarc – a brainwashed Goa’uld assassin – but her test had failed only because of her unspoken feelings for Colonel O’Neill. Janet had witnessed Sam’s confession and the Colonel’s. They both loved each other deeply but Janet knew the mission came first for both of them especially since the Colonel had almost had to kill Sam to save the base.

There had been a definite shift in their interaction since that incident. Colonel O’Neill had definitely retreated into a more professional mode and Sam seemed to be following his lead. Janet figured Sam knew why the Colonel had retreated given that the day of the za’tarc confessions had ended with Sam having to kill Martouf, the soul mate of the Tok’ra symbiote Sam had carried unwillingly for a time.

As her mind moved from past events and back to the present, Janet realised with some chagrin that Sam was talking.

‘…even my Dad gets evasive.’ Sam concluded passionately. ‘It’s so frustrating.’

Janet nodded sympathetically and was grateful when Sam didn’t seem to expect any other kind of answer.

‘You know if Teal’c gives his permission I wouldn’t mind taking a look at the data.’ Sam shifted subject with a swiftness that surprised Janet.

‘Why?’ Janet asked taken aback.

‘Well, you know when we were talking about Teal’c’s treatment when we first brought him back?’ Sam said excitedly. ‘My Dad was hypothesising that the Goa’uld was keeping the drug in Teal’c’s bloodstream rather than neutralising it.’

‘So you think that taking the symbiote out enabled Teal’c’s blood chemistry to correct itself?’ Janet summarised. ‘That’s quite a leap.’

‘But it makes sense.’ Sam argued, waving her hand at Janet. ‘Think about it, Janet. Without the symbiote to maintain the high levels of nishta, Teal’c’s own body was probably able to, I don’t know, sweat it out? It probably brought the levels back down to where Teal’c was able to listen to reason again.’

Janet allowed the point grudgingly. ‘So you’re saying that the right treatment all along was the removal of the symbiote.’

‘Maybe.’ Sam tilted her head. ‘I mean, it may well be the scientific reason why the rite is the only way to beat this type of brainwashing for a Jaffa.’

‘I don’t know, Sam.’ Janet shook her head and raised a hand before Sam could argue further. ‘And I’m too tired to make sense of anything right now.’ She gave an apologetic smile. ‘I just want to write up my notes and head home.’

Sam nodded understandingly and hopped off the desk. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ She suddenly yawned and hastily raised a hand to her mouth. ‘Sorry.’

Janet looked at her with concern. ‘You should get some rest.’

‘I will.’ Sam said. ‘I just have to…’

‘Sleep.’ Janet stated firmly. Her dark eyes held Sam’s and she ignored the irritated look Sam shot her. ‘Sam, you’ve been marching for days to find Bra’tac and bring him here. You’ve been eating rations which are not a balanced diet no matter how much we like to pretend they are and I’m guessing you haven’t rested since you got back. You need to sleep.’

Sam blushed – evidently Janet had been correct in her analysis. Sam nodded reluctantly. Her gaze suddenly seemed to sharpen on Janet’s. ‘What about you? Are you OK?’

Janet flushed. She had made no effort before to hide her unhappiness at the approach they had taken with Teal’c. ‘I’m fine. Just tired. Like I said, I’m going to write up these notes and head home.’

‘OK.’ Sam made for the door. ‘Oh, say hi to Cassie for me.’

‘Will do.’ Janet agreed while wondering if her daughter would still be awake to say hello to when she arrived home. ‘Are you coming over tomorrow?’ It was a Saturday and if Sam was on Earth she usually tried to visit with Cassie for a game of chess.

‘Sure. Tell her I’ll be there at lunchtime like always.’ Sam raised a hand in farewell and left the office.

Janet turned back to her computer and focused. Her notes would be vital for Teal’c’s ongoing treatment. If he had an episode while she was off duty, she knew they could make the difference between Teal’c living and dying. She accurately recorded her observations; the removal of the symbiote, Teal’c’s initial reactions, his body’s decline while mentally he became less aware of his surroundings until the end and the symbiote’s return and with it Teal’c’s own return from the brink of death…seemingly recovered from his brainwashing.

Janet’s hand hovered a moment before she added her recommendation that the medical staff continue to treat Teal’c with extreme caution until the General determined the guards were no longer required. Teal’c seemed recovered, and everyone including Janet couldn’t help but respond to the conviction in his voice when he had come back to them, but it was probably good to remain alert. She finished the report just in time for her handover to Doctor Brightman.

Another thirty minutes of updating and handover on all the patients – not just Teal’c – and Janet headed for the lockers. A shower revived her and she dressed in her civilian clothes of khaki pants, a light green sweater and cream coat hurriedly. Five minutes later she was in the elevator. She signed out impatiently and walked at a hurried pace to her car. She slowed as she approached the vehicle as her eyes fell to the flat tyre on the driver side.

‘No!’ Janet felt the sting of frustrated tears and blinked them away. ‘Damn, damn, damn.’ She muttered under her breath as she crouched by the vehicle. She grimaced and plucked out the rusty nail from the deflated rubber. She wrapped a fist around it and closed her eyes for a moment.

She just wanted to go home. Was that too much to ask? She opened her eyes and got to her feet. She should head back into the base. She could request a driver to take her home…

‘Hey!’ Daniel Jackson’s voice interrupted the thought and she turned to see the archaeologist striding toward her, concern creasing his face into furrows. ‘Flat?’ He asked, gesturing at her car.

‘Yeah.’ Janet rubbed her nose as she stood up and readjusted the strap of her purse. It was already cold and she could feel the wind biting through her clothes. She saw Daniel huddle further into his jacket. She showed him the nail. ‘I was just about to head in and get a driver to take me home.’

‘If you, uh, if you need a ride, I can take you.’ Daniel offered, motioning behind him at his own car.

He smiled at her encouragingly and Janet found herself nodding in agreement. ‘Thank you, Daniel.’ She said gratefully. ‘I really appreciate it.’ She took a moment to discard the nail before they turned and headed to his vehicle.

He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Janet before climbing into the drivers’ seat. He started the car and adjusted the heat settings. He shot Janet an apologetic grimace. ‘It takes a while to warm up.’

‘You should get Sam to take a look at it.’ Janet suggested. It was one advantage of having a mechanical genius for a friend; Sam had tuned up her old car until it purred.

Daniel smiled. He pulled out of the parking lot. They showed their ids at the gate and Janet pushed the thought of how their leaving together might look to the back of her mind. She rested her head against the cushion and let the warm air, the growl of the vehicle’s engine and the motion of the car relax her.

‘Tough day, huh?’ Daniel said as they pulled out onto the main road.

‘You could say that.’ Janet gave a heartfelt sigh. She glanced over at him. His blue eyes were pinned to the road; his hands steady on the steering wheel.

‘I know it wasn’t easy for you,’ Daniel murmured, ‘agreeing to the rite.’

‘I’m just glad it worked out.’ Janet said evenly. Her eyes moved forward and stared at the road ahead, the stretch of grey disappearing into the horizon.

‘Sorry.’ Daniel’s quiet apology made her turn her head. He gave a small smile before his gaze returned to the road. ‘You probably don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Not really.’ Janet agreed. Her conscience prodded her. He was just trying to be friendly and supportive – and he was giving her a ride home. She sighed and fingered the leather strap of her purse absently. ‘Like I said, I’m just glad it worked out.’

‘I understand.’ Daniel commented. ‘I mean, it is a radical procedure.’

‘Sam thinks the symbiote had to be removed for Teal’c’s body to get rid of the worst of the nishta.’ Janet nudged the topic onto safer ground.

Daniel nodded. ‘I guess I can see that.’ He threw another questioning glance in her direction. ‘If you’d known that before would you have objected so strongly?’

‘Maybe not.’ Janet allowed. She considered the idea and sighed. If she had been presented with scientific evidence for the treatment, would she have objected? ‘Probably not.’

‘You know I’ve found that the healing rites of many cultures usually have some scientific foundation when you investigate more.’ Daniel said. He looked over at her. ‘Sometimes they even have a better understanding than we do of how to cure something even though they don’t know why.’

Janet bristled at the implied criticism. ‘I’m aware that Western medicine isn’t all encompassing, Daniel. There are several alternative therapies that I recommend.’

‘Oh, I know that.’ Daniel hurried out. ‘I was just…’ he sighed at her hard look, ‘I guess I was trying to make the point that obviously Bra’tac knew what he was doing even if he doesn’t know the science of why the rite works.’

‘And that I should have trusted him more.’ Janet’s voice was edged with anger.

‘They are both Jaffa.’ Daniel glanced at her again as they pulled up at a set of traffic lights. He grimaced at her stony expression. ‘Look, I’m not criticising you, Janet, I’m just…’

‘Criticising me.’ Janet finished snappily. ‘I’m sorry, Daniel, if my desire not to kill the patient with the treatment means I’m not as open to other cultures and their medicines as you seem to think I should be.’

There was a tense silence as she glared at him.

He looked away first, a hint of colour blooming in his pale cheeks. ‘I’m the one who’s sorry.’ He glanced back at her. ‘I didn’t offer you a ride to give you a lecture, I swear.’

Janet relaxed marginally under his sincere contrition and nodded jerkily. ‘Let’s forget it.’ She motioned at the road. ‘The light’s green.’

‘Oh. Right.’ Daniel pulled away briskly.

There was an uncomfortable silence and Janet tried to ignore the small voice in her head that was reminding her that Daniel hadn’t been completely at fault. She sighed.

‘I’m sorry too.’ Janet said the words quickly, almost running them together. She pressed into the car seat as though it would swallow her up and hide her. ‘I overreacted. It’s just…’ her voice trailed away as she tried to find the words to explain.

‘Tough day.’ Daniel completed for her.

She gave a small smile in acknowledgement of the way out he had offered her. She didn’t owe him any explanations but his kind blue eyes encouraged her to open up. ‘Tough day,’ she agreed, ‘and I guess I’m feeling sensitive about it.’ She waved a hand at him. ‘I was the only one who didn’t want to do the rite.’

Daniel’s face suddenly brightened with clarity. ‘And you feel like we’re all telling you I told you so?’

‘Maybe.’ Janet grimaced. ‘A little.’ She felt her guard drop further. ‘And maybe because I’m wondering if you’re not right; maybe I should have been more open to Bra’tac’s suggestion. It’s just…’ she sighed again. ‘The first rule of medicine is do no harm.’

‘We all understood your position, Janet.’ Daniel said quietly. ‘It wasn’t an easy decision for any of us.’

‘I know.’ Janet agreed.

‘You wanted to keep him alive. That’s not a bad thing.’ Daniel responded compassionately.

‘But what kind of life would it have been?’ Janet asked the question that had been preying on her mind. ‘You know most members of the SGC have DNRs for certain situations and most have no extraordinary measures for others. I can’t help feeling that I was so caught up in trying to do the right thing that I almost did the wrong thing.’

‘Janet, if the rite hadn’t worked, would you have stopped trying to find a way to reverse the brainwashing?’ Daniel asked.

‘No, of course not.’ Janet replied immediately.

‘There you go.’

Daniel concentrated as he made a right turn and Janet took the moment to consider his words.

‘You would never have left him as he was.’ Daniel continued. ‘You’re too good a doctor.’

Janet flushed as Daniel smiled at her. ‘Thank you.’ She settled back in the seat and realised the tension in her shoulders had seeped away. Her conversation with Daniel had definitely helped her put some things in perspective, she mused ruefully. Her gaze drifted back to him. There were faint shadows under his eyes; tension lines bracketed his mouth. Something was bothering him and she figured she knew what it was. Maybe she could return the favour, Janet mused.

‘So,’ she cleared her throat, ‘not that I’m immensely grateful for the ride but I’m surprised that you left the base.’

Daniel squirmed in his seat. ‘Sam and Jack are both there and I think Bra’tac wanted some time with Teal’c.’

Janet nodded understandingly. ‘I think it’s good you’re getting away from the base.’

‘You do?’ Daniel looked at her in surprise momentarily before he turned his attention back to the traffic.

‘I do.’ Janet said. ‘Everyone needs some time to process what’s happened.’

She left unspoken the specifics; that SG1 needed to reconcile Teal’c’s behaviour towards them when he was brainwashed. She believed that was the reason why Daniel had wanted off base, to give himself some space. Daniel was a sensitive soul and it was likely that he was questioning whether there was any possibility that Teal’c’s scornful words and his attempts to kill him had some basis in Teal’c’s real feelings.

‘It wasn’t really him, was it? I mean, all his actions were down to the brainwashing.’ Daniel asked, glancing across to her again.

She smiled reassuringly. ‘He was no more himself during what he did, Daniel, than you were when you were suffering from the sarcophagus withdrawal.’

Janet saw her words strike home in the slight flare of Daniel’s nostrils, the briefly stunned look in the blue eyes as he made the connection himself. She knew Daniel would start to heal any hurts from the past few weeks and more, he would reach out to help Teal’c do the same.

He gave a sudden wry smile and looked at her. ‘Thanks.’

‘Any time.’ Janet responded with an answering smile.

Daniel pulled into her street and parked in front of her house. She reached for the door handle.

‘Thank you for the ride and for the, uh, the talk.’ Janet said softly.

‘Any time.’ Daniel said sincerely, parroting her own words back to her. ‘You need a ride to the base tomorrow?’

Janet shook her head and tried to ignore the flicker of disappointment at her own refusal. ‘Sam’s coming over to play chess with Cassie so I’ll catch a ride with her.’

Daniel nodded his head in understanding. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

Janet got out of the car. She walked up to her front door and glanced back; Daniel remained, waiting to see her inside, she realised. She unlocked the door and pushed it open; she raised a hand in farewell before she stepped into the house. She heard the car pulling away outside. She would bet her salary he was headed back for the base. She smiled and shrugged her coat off.

‘Doctor Fraiser.’ The plump matronly figure of the live-in help Janet had hired to look after Cassie when she was at work appeared in the doorway to the den. Betsy was a former Air Force nurse and Hammond had arranged for her clearance given Cassie’s alien status.

‘Hi Betsy. Cassie asleep?’ Janet asked hanging up her coat and stowing her purse.

‘She’s at a party.’ Betsy frowned at Janet’s surprise. ‘She said she called you and you gave her permission.’

Janet felt the muscles in her neck and shoulders tighten with tension again.

‘I’m sorry,’ Betsy said with a sigh, ‘I should have asked to speak to you myself.’

‘It’s not your fault, Betsy.’ Janet said with a sigh. ‘If anyone owes me an apology, it’s Cassie.’ She massaged her pounding temple. ‘Why don’t you turn in? I’ll wait up for her.’

Betsy nodded and said goodnight. Janet headed for the kitchen and poured a glass of wine before she made herself comfortable on the den’s old sofa, turning the TV to an old black and white movie. She hoped Cassie kept her curfew because otherwise the one week of grounding she was going to receive as a punishment was going to be two. Janet sipped her wine and grimaced; it was just the perfect end to her day.

o-O-o

The two Jaffa remained in comfortable silence in the isolation room. Bra’tac sat on a stool pulled up close to Teal’c’s bed. His mentor was quiet, waiting and Teal’c was grateful for his patience. Teal’c lay still, his hands folded over his upper stomach, above the pouch where the returned symbiote writhed. Teal’c’s face was immobile; his dark eyes fixed on a mark on the far wall yet his mind was racing over the events of his life that the rite had unburied; over the events of the past weeks that he could barely bring himself to remember without the bitter taste of failure and shame.

He had allowed himself to be injured…captured…brainwashed. He had succumbed to Apophis’s lies and deceit. He had betrayed his friends; hurt them; planned to kill them. He had been weak.

The only bright note was that Apophis was dead. It was unlikely that even he had survived the crash of the mothership into his planet. Teal’c was satisfied with that at least. He wished he could be as certain of Tanith’s fate. He had planned to avenge Sho’nac’s death with Tanith’s but the Goa’uld had outwitted him; ambushed him, turned him over to Apophis. Teal’c could not remember seeing him on the ship before the Replicator attack. His gut churned at the thought that Tanith might have escaped again. If he had…Teal’c had more to avenge than Sho’nac’s death; it was also his own honour that was at stake. If he had not…if Tanith had died on the ship…Teal’c felt the bite of frustration and wondered which he truly hoped was the reality; Tanith alive so he could enact his vengeance or Tanith dead even if it was not by his own hand.

Bra’tac stirred on the stool, adjusting his silver cloak.

Teal’c met the older Jaffa’s eyes. ‘You look tired.’ He commented quietly. His voice rumbling deep and low from his chest.

‘I am old.’ Bra’tac responded spiritedly. ‘Some of us are no longer meant for marched walks and all night vigils to rescue stubborn Jaffas.’

‘I am grateful.’ Teal’c replied warmly. ‘You saved me, old friend.’

‘You saved yourself.’ Bra’tac contradicted. ‘You are the first to survive the rite.’ He patted Teal’c’s shoulder, his hand rested on him gently. ‘You are strong.’

Teal’c shifted uncomfortable with the praise. ‘I allowed myself to succumb to Apophis’s brainwashing.’

‘It was an impossible fight.’ Bra’tac shot back. ‘The sarcophagus method is usually irreversible. That you are recovered at all is a miracle.’

Teal’c did not reply; Bra’tac’s words were true – he knew that – but he still could not believe that there had not been some way for him to resist what had occurred.

Bra’tac patted him again. ‘You are strong, Teal’c, as your friends.’

‘I betrayed them.’ Teal’c was unable to prevent the words from leaving his mouth. He clamped his lips shut.

‘And still they worked to save you, hmmm?’ Bra’tac pointed out. ‘They know who you truly are, Teal’c.’

‘I would have killed them.’ Teal’c confided.

‘You could return with me to the camp.’ Bra’tac suggested evenly.

Teal’c shook his head. Leaving Earth after what he had done would be worse than staying. It would be cowardice. He needed to restore his honour and that could only be done by staying and fighting alongside his friends against the Goa’uld. It would be difficult but he needed to prove to himself that he had the strength to prove his loyalty to them once more. He would not run to the camp and hide like some frightened child. More, he could not lead men with such a stain on his honour nor look his son in the eye as a warrior. He was not worthy.

‘No one will know of this, Teal’c.’ Bra’tac continued. ‘Your friends told Rak’nor you were injured; no more than that.’

‘I will know.’ Teal’c said quietly.

Bra’tac stood. ‘I must take my leave. I have left the camp too long already.’ He reached forward and clasped Teal’c’s arm. He held it firmly. ‘You bear no dishonour, Teal’c.’ His eyes bore into Teal’c’s. ‘You are yourself again; that took no small measure of strength and courage. If the rite had not worked you would have died.’

Teal’c held his mentor’s gaze and Bra’tac gave a satisfied nod that Teal’c had at least listened to his words. Bra’tac let go and left the room. Teal’c closed his eyes and prepared for kel no reem. His recovery and his symbiote’s would progress faster with the meditation.

He stirred hours later and was unsurprised to find Colonel O’Neill by his bedside. The military man sat on the same stool Bra’tac had been perched on. He was flipping through a magazine; an old copy of the National Enquirer that Teal’c recognised as his.

‘O’Neill.’

‘Teal’c.’ Jack immediately abandoned his reading material and gave Teal’c his attention. He gestured at him. ‘How’s Junior?’

‘The symbiote has recovered.’ Teal’c said calmly. ‘As have I.’

‘Doc says the same.’ Jack noted briskly. He folded his arms across his chest, crumpling the blue BDU shirt he wore. ‘Hammond’s given permission for you to go back to quarters when you’re ready.’

‘I am ready.’ Teal’c went to pull back the covers.

Jack moved swiftly away to give him privacy. He plucked the dressing robe off the back of the door and handed it to Teal’c without looking at him. ‘Here.’

‘Thank you, O’Neill.’ Teal’c put the robe on. He was not bothered about moving about naked but he knew after four years of living among them that humans were sensitive about such matters.

‘Uh, Hammond’s also cancelled the guard but one of us has to escort you around for a while.’ Jack continued, shoving his hands in his pants’ pockets.

‘A sensible precaution.’ Teal’c demurred. He would have taken similar actions in the General’s place. He tightened the belt. ‘I am ready.’

Jack turned back, his eyes glancing off Teal’c. ‘OK. Let’s get you to your quarters.’

Teal’c followed him out of the room and along the corridors. He noticed the looks they acquired as they walked past people and he knew it would take time before he was trusted by them again. His heart was heavy as they arrived at his quarters.

Jack opened the door and Teal’c walked inside. Nothing had been disturbed in his absence. His belongings were in their usual places.

‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Jack turned for the door.

‘O’Neill.’ Teal’c straightened. ‘I must apologise…’

Jack waved the words away. ‘Forget it.’ He held Teal’c’s gaze.

They looked at each for a long moment.

Teal’c inclined his head slowly.

Jack nodded. He headed back to the open door. He paused, his hand on the door frame and looked back over his shoulder. ‘Teal’c?’

Teal’c raised an eyebrow in response.

‘It’s good to have you back.’ Jack tapped the door frame once and departed.

Teal’c walked over and closed the door. He turned back to his room. The fact that nothing had been moved and everything had been left for his return humbled him. His friends had believed in him. It was evidence of their faith that he would return to them.

There was a sharp knock on the door. He moved over to answer it and found Samantha Carter on the other side.

‘Hey, the Colonel told me you were back in your quarters so…’ Sam gestured at him awkwardly. ‘I thought I’d stop by and see how you’re doing.’

‘I am doing fine, Major Carter.’ Teal’c said warmly.

‘Good, good.’ Sam caught herself twisting her fingers together and hurriedly placed them behind her back. ‘Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you?’

He invited her into the room.

She turned to him eagerly. ‘I’d like your permission to share the medical data collected when you were going through the rite with the Tok’ra. My Dad feels that it might help them understand something about the Jaffa physiology that would help free your people from their reliance on the Goa’uld symbiotes.’

Teal’c could not help the automatic denial that hovered on his lips. He knew Major Carter had good intentions and knew she was correct that potentially the data might be useful but…he could not bear the thought that the details of his dishonour would be shared further especially with the Tok’ra.

‘You don’t want to do it.’ Sam realised clearly disappointed.

‘It is difficult.’ Teal’c admitted, turning away from her.

‘I understand, Teal’c, but this could be important or I wouldn’t ask.’ Sam said quietly.

He looked at her and nodded slowly. ‘Very well, Major Carter.’ He clasped his own hands behind his back; an incongruous image in his bathrobe. ‘You may share the data with your father. But he is only to share it further if he feels it is truly useful.’

‘I’ll let him know.’ Sam said.

‘I wish to make an apology to you, Major Carter.’ Teal’c said gruffly. ‘For my behaviour during these past few weeks.’

Sam smiled at him sympathetically. ‘You don’t have to, Teal’c. It wasn’t you; we knew that.’ Her eyes widened suddenly at the clock on the wall over his shoulder. ‘I have to go.’ She gestured at the door. ‘I’m supposed to be playing chess with Cassie.’

‘Please give my regards to Cassandra.’ Teal’c said as she headed for the door.

‘I will.’ Sam opened the door but suddenly whirled back and hugged him swiftly, releasing him before he could respond. ‘Welcome back, Teal’c.’

She left abruptly, closing the door behind her. Teal’c headed for the small adjoining bathroom, stripped and showered. He had just refinished dressing and had lit some candles to perform a second meditation when he heard another knock on his door. He called for the person to enter and was unsurprised to see Daniel Jackson walk in.

‘Hey.’ Daniel closed the door softly behind him and wrapped his arms around his torso. ‘I’m not disturbing you, am I?’

‘You are not.’ Teal’c confirmed. He motioned at the floor and Daniel dropped lightly into a cross-legged position, following Teal’c’s own example.

‘So.’ Daniel began hesitantly. ‘How are you doing with…everything?’

Teal’c pressed his lips together. ‘I owe you an apology.’

‘Why?’ Daniel asked as though startled.

‘I tried to kill you.’ Teal’c pointed out bluntly.

Daniel nodded as though in agreement, the candle-light catching on the panes of glass that covered his eyes. ‘You remember when I apologised for the time you spent in the mines when I was drugged up on the sarcophagus? You remember what you said to me?’

‘I said there was no need.’ Teal’c recalled. ‘That you were not in control of your actions.’

‘Well, I, uh, I think the same applies here.’ Daniel said firmly. ‘You weren’t in control, Teal’c, anymore than I was when I was hyped up from the sarcophagus or Sam was when she was possessed by Jolinar or that alien entity thing.’ He wet his lips. ‘I do know how you’re feeling though and if you ever want to talk…’ he shrugged and held Teal’c’s gaze with a depth of empathy that staggered the Jaffa. ‘I know it’s not easy to forgive yourself.’

Teal’c sat stunned, unable to respond.

Daniel got to his feet. He patted Teal’c’s shoulder on the way past and left the Jaffa alone to his meditation.

Teal’c closed his eyes. His friends had not abandoned him – would not abandon him despite his actions toward them. He felt overwhelmed by their support; their love. And he had come so close to losing it…to losing them…

‘I choose freedom.’ He murmured softly. The memory flashed again in his mind; the earnest faces of Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson, the fierce determination on O’Neill’s face as he had begged Teal’c to help them. He had chosen freedom; he had chosen them. He vowed he would not fail them again.

fin.