Fanfiction: Let Go and Hold On - Part II

[rachel500]

For disclaimers and author's note see Part I.

Let Go and Hold On

Chapter 4

Dakara was hot and humid. Teal’c felt the trickle of sweat run down his spine and he ignored it as he focused on the opponent in front of him. Wooden staff weapons clashed in a flurry of moves that had Teal’c side-stepping rapidly before holding his position and switching to an offence. He thrust up with the wooden staff, knocking his opponent’s across the room. The young Jaffa dived but Teal’c anticipated his move; he delivered a sharp slap to the younger man’s head.

It was over.

Teal’c held out a hand and his younger opponent took it.

‘Thank you for the lesson, Master Teal’c.’ The young boy bowed and left the sparring room.

The sound of clapping had Teal’c turning to the source with irritation. Ishta stood there. His irritation melted away and he smiled. He crossed over to greet her with a passionate kiss.

‘Hmmm.’ Ista smiled up into his dark eyes. ‘I have missed you, Teal’c.’

‘I have missed you also.’ Teal’c kissed her again.

They parted reluctantly.

Ishta stepped away to allow Teal’c to pick up a towel from the floor. ‘Karyn and Rya’c send greetings.’ She told him before he could ask, knowing he would want news of his son and daughter-in-law. ‘They are both well; eager to see you.’

He ignored the hint of a rebuke in her voice. He had not paid Rya’c a brief visit despite leaving Earth. There had been a lot to do on Dakara, he reminded himself. ‘You are here for the Council debate tomorrow?’ He inquired as he rubbed the towel over his arms and neck.

Ishta wandered to the far side of the room to look out of the window. She glanced over her shoulder, her blonde hair catching the sun. ‘I should thank you for ensuring our inclusion.’

Teal’c bowed his head. ‘You are a leader.’

‘Not all see as you do.’ Ishta murmured, crossing her arms over her chest. ‘Many of our fellow Jaffa still hold to the old ways.’

Teal’c couldn’t argue with her. He’d had his share of frustration in the weeks since the Jaffa had taken control of Dakara.

‘There are many who believe that a female should not have a voice in Council.’ Ishta continued.

‘Then they are fools.’ Teal’c said softly.

Ishta gave a small humourless laugh. ‘Fools with power, Teal’c.’

Teal’c inclined his head again.

She shifted suddenly, pacing across the floor to stare at a tapestry on the far wall. ‘Merain will represent my people; not I.’

His eyebrows shot up. ‘For what reason?’

‘Many reasons.’ Ishta turned to look at him. ‘I am not popular among the Council as it was I who defied tradition and led women into battle against men. My presence only serves to inflame those who are already ranged against us.’

He couldn’t argue with her logic.

‘More, my people need me on Haktyl not light years away on Dakara.’ Ishta smiled grimly. ‘I can do more for them there than buried away in Council chambers here.’

Teal’c pressed his lips together. ‘And what of us?’ He couldn’t deny that he had been looking forward to her presence as much for her as for the additional support she would bring during Council discussions.

‘What of us, Teal’c?’ Ishta crossed over to him. She laid a palm against his cheek, her eyes searching his.

‘I believe you know how I feel.’ Teal’c said gruffly.

‘What do you propose?’ Ishta prompted, her eyes intent on his.

What was he proposing, Teal’c mused. Indeed, was he proposing? Teal’c remained silent as that thought arrested all others.

Ishta dropped her hand and sighed. ‘Nothing has to change between us.’

And yet it was evident from her expression that she had expected it to change. Perhaps she had a point. He had not proposed a more permanent commitment between them before because he had been only too aware of how difficult it had been to remain married to someone and live among the Tau’ri. But the war was over; he was back among his own kind. Yet still he held back. He wondered why.

‘I should leave.’ Ishta said. ‘I need to return to the Haktyl.’

‘You cannot stay for a visit?’ Teal’c asked. He had anticipated her arrival for days.

‘There is no reason for me to stay.’ Her face softened as she took in his disappointment. ‘You should come with me.’

Teal’c’s features smoothed into impassivity. ‘I am needed on Dakara.’

‘Yet you do not wish to be here, Teal’c.’

He couldn’t deny the truth of her statement.

She sighed and pressed a kiss to his lips. ‘I will see you again, Teal’c.’ She left, leaving behind the scant memory of her scent and the touch of her lips.

Teal’c picked up his robes. He made his way to the rooms he had secured as his quarters and stripped. Ishta had pinpointed the nub of his unease; he didn’t really want to be on Dakara. He had fought for freedom for his people yet on gaining it his own suddenly seemed to disappear. Many Jaffa seemed to expect him to assume the leadership of the provisional Jaffa government even those who didn’t want him to have it.

He shifted uneasily as he washed in the small bathroom, removing the sweat and dust from his skin. He towelled off and dressed in the traditional Jaffa robes. His hand fell on a picture by his bedside. He picked it up. It was a group shot taken at O’Neill’s cabin. Colonel Carter had set the timer on the camera and insisted they all gather for the picture. None of them had been able to deny her request. His eyes lingered on his team-mates – his family.

He missed them.

Teal’c set aside the photo. He checked his watch. It was almost time for his usual weekly check-in with Earth. He lit some candles and dropped to the floor, cross-legged. He closed his eyes and meditated. He knew some of his Council members disapproved of his maintaining links with Earth yet Teal’c believed they needed the Tau’ri as a valuable ally.

On a personal level, he knew it brought him comfort to speak with Daniel Jackson and Colonel Carter, and very occasionally General O’Neill. Evidently, that comfort would be gone in another two weeks. O’Neill rarely returned to the SGC and Teal’c knew Colonel Carter was scheduled to leave the next day; Daniel Jackson would leave for Atlantis in time. Inwardly, he acknowledged that some of his own unrest was in part knowing he would soon lose that last contact with them.

But it wasn’t the only reason for his unease. Teal’c breathed deeply trying to relax the tension that crept into his shoulder muscles. He was a warrior. He had trained to be one all his life. Leading men into battle; that was his strength. He did not deal well with the every day reality of political manoeuvring that peace had engendered. He wanted the best for his people; he wanted them to have a fair and honest government yet he could hardly stand being the one to ensure it happened.

He was not equipped to tell Jaffa warriors who had idly stood by while their brothers shed blood that they were welcome at the Council table and accept their words of derision for his own achievements and those of leaders such as Ishta. He was not equipped to swallow the words of anger to ensure the Jaffa nation became whole while his blood called for him to crush the life from their throats. He wondered how O’Neill – the brother of his warrior soul – handled such diplomacy. O’Neill had also assumed a role that did not involve him in the heat of battle any longer either. Perhaps he should ask O’Neill the next time they talked.

Teal’c was reminded of his imminent call with Earth and rose from the floor in a graceful move that belied his large frame. He blew out the candles and reached for the small radio and GDO. He got up and headed out to the Stargate.

A small group of Jaffa guarded the gate. Teal’c greeted them and dialled Earth. The chevrons locked in order and he watched the plume of blue blossom with satisfaction. He keyed in his IDC and pressed the button on his radio.

‘Stargate Command, this is Dakara.’

‘Teal’c.’

A small smile lifted Teal’c’s lips. ‘Daniel Jackson.’

‘Teal’c, we’re going to have to do this another time.’ Daniel was apologetic but firm. ‘The gate took some damage on a previous incoming wormhole and it’s pretty urgent we fix it.’

Concern stirred. ‘What has occurred?’

‘Sam’s…she…’

It was rare that the archaeologist was inarticulate and it was rare Teal’c felt anything approaching panic. He stamped down hard on it. ‘Open the iris. I will be with you shortly.’

‘It'll be a rough journey, Teal’c. Our Stargate isn’t exactly stable.’ Daniel warned.

‘Open the iris.’ Teal’c insisted.

‘The iris is open, Teal’c.’

Teal’c barely registered the relief in his friend’s voice or his own. He turned to the Jaffa beside him. ‘Tell Master Bra’tac that I have returned to Earth to assist in an emergency.’ He didn’t wait for a reply. He strode away and into the waiting blue puddle without hesitation. His friends had need of him; that was all he needed to know.

Chapter 5

‘What the hell happened?’ Jack stepped out of the elevator and ignored the way Daniel winced at his harsh tone. He glared at the younger man. He nodded absently at the Jaffa beside the archaeologist and then did a double take. His eyebrows shot up. ‘Teal’c?’

Teal’c inclined his head. ‘O’Neill.’

‘Teal’c, uh, contacted us for his usual update a couple of hours ago.’ Daniel explained hurriedly.

Jack resisted the urge to hug Teal’c. ‘Good to have you with us.’ He was completely sincere. There was something steadying about the Jaffa’s presence. He turned back to Daniel. ‘So…’

Daniel sighed as they began walking down the corridor. ‘We don’t really know. The MALP picked up no signs of seismic activity either on the initial survey or when they gated out. It was raining but that was it.’

‘Raining?’ Jack questioned.

‘Raining.’ Daniel confirmed. ‘Green said there was no hint that there was any problem when they got there. According to him, Sam ordered two men to hold the gate. Green left Grogan and Turner; he, Sam and Helen, uh, Calliday, went onto the ruins.’

‘OK.’ Jack commented. ‘Seems like a normal mission to me; rain, ruins…’

‘Green said Helen started to translate the writing. She took some pictures – we’re having them developed.’ Daniel informed him. ‘Anyways, Helen found the mechanism to open the temple door. She and Sam went into explore.’ He caught his breath as they entered the briefing room. ‘Green says Sam radioed to say they’d found a stairwell. About two minutes later the ground began to shake. Sam ordered the evacuation.’

‘And?’ Jack prompted as they made their way automatically to the window, watching Siler’s team who were all focused on fixing the gate.

‘And they dialled the gate. Grogan and Turner made it through. Green said he saw Helen and Sam enter the clearing. He made it back and Helen followed.’ Daniel said as they stared out of the window.

‘But Sam didn’t.’ Jack said quietly.

‘But Sam didn’t.’ Daniel agreed in the same quiet tone.

‘It is most unfortunate.’ Teal’c murmured.

For a second, all three men stood united in their fears and worry for their former team-mate as they stared down at the gate.

‘General O’Neill.’

Jack turned to greet Landry with a grimace. He nodded at Daniel. ‘Why don’t you go chase up those photos?’

Daniel and Teal’c had served with him long enough to know when Jack was suggesting a strategic retreat. They made their exit leaving Jack alone with his successor at the SGC.

‘Jack.’

Landry sounded friendly enough; Jack knew better. ‘Hank.’ He followed Hank into his old office and stood awkwardly just inside the doorway.

Landry took position behind the desk; his fingertips rested on the shiny wooden surface.

‘I’m not here to get in your way, Hank.’ Jack said quickly.

‘Glad to hear it, General.’ Landry commented dryly.

The two men looked at each for a long tense moment.

Landry sighed and took a seat, dropping into it. ‘You know that everything that can be done is being done.’

‘I know.’ Jack had just seen the evidence of it; Siler was driving his men hard to fix the gate.

‘Then, what are you doing here, Jack?’

It was a good question.

Jack repressed the urge to sigh but he did unbutton his jacket and shoved his hands in his pants’ pockets. ‘It’s Carter.’ He said simply as though that was the complete and only answer; to Jack it was.

Landry’s bushy eyebrows rose.

Jack flushed seeing the unspoken question in the other man’s eyes. He walked over to the internal window and stared out into the briefing room. ‘We just…we served together a long time.’

Landry sighed. ‘Does the President even know you’re here?’

‘He knows.’ Jack shifted uncomfortably. His conversation with Hayes had gone pretty much the same way as the conversation with Landry…

‘I need you here in Washington, Jack. That’s why I offered you this post.’

‘With respect, Mr President, you ordered me to take the assignment; I didn’t actually want it.’ Jack pointed out.

‘Semantics, Jack.’ Hayes looked at him with exasperation. ‘You picked General Landry as your successor.’

‘I did.’ Jack allowed.

‘You don’t think he can do the job?’

‘That’s not what this is about.’ Jack said forcefully.

Hayes speared him with a look. ‘Then what is it about, General?’

Jack struggled to find a reason that Hayes would accept. He couldn’t exactly tell his Commander-in-Chief that he was in love with Carter; her career would be ruined, he couldn’t do that to her.

‘Colonel Carter and I served together a long time,’ Jack began hesitantly.

‘I know you served with these people a long time, Jack.’ Hayes said leaning back in his chair. ‘But you can’t go running after them every time they break a nail.’

‘Oh for crying out loud this is hardly a broken nail!’ Jack snapped, forgetting for a moment that he was stood in the Oval Office, talking to his boss. ‘She’s missing off-world.’

Hayes looked at him a long time. ‘You know there are some who think you and Colonel Carter…’

‘We’re friends.’ Jack said forcefully, his dark eyes flashing in anger. ‘If this were Daniel or…or Teal’c, I’d still be stood here requesting permission to go.’

Hayes steepled his fingers. ‘I believe you would and honestly, Jack, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.’

Jack resisted the urge to fidget.

‘I also have this feeling that if I don’t give you permission, you’d find a way to do what you want anyway.’ Hayes noted.

Jack didn’t dispute it. He would.

‘Fine.’ Hayes said finally. ‘You can go.’

‘Thank you, sir.’ Jack turned to leave.

‘Jack.’

He turned back to Hayes impatiently, eager to leave and get to the SGC.

‘Bring her back.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Jack nodded firmly. He would get her back; he had to get her back. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.

‘I’ve read the mission reports; I know you and your team achieved great things.’ Landry said honestly. ‘But I can’t say I’m pleased Doctor Jackson was going to call you without asking, or that Teal’c stepped through without permission, or that you’re here in person.’

‘I understand that.’ Jack replied and he did.

‘If our positions were reversed, what would you do?’ Landry continued relentlessly.

Jack visibly winced as he turned to meet Landry’s gaze. ‘Kick my butt out of here.’ He admitted. He held the other man’s eyes pleadingly. ‘But then you’re not me.’

Landry didn’t relax an iota. ‘It’s difficult enough getting everyone used to the idea that you’re not around anymore without you…’

‘Turning up to remind them all the time?’ Jack concluded dryly. ‘I’m not here to make you look bad, Hank, or to suggest you can’t do the job. This is your base; your operation. Just consider me another volunteer for the SAR.’

Landry clasped his hands on the desk. ‘A volunteer?’

‘Yes.’ Jack nodded.

The General sighed. ‘Sergeant Siler says it’ll be another couple of hours before the gate is operational. You might want to get some rest.’

Jack nodded. ‘Thanks.’ He headed for the door; Landry was a good man but Jack wasn’t going to push his luck. He figured Daniel and Teal’c would have gone to the archaeologist’s office and he made his way there.

His prediction was correct. They were both gathered around the central workbench; the surface covered with glossy prints. He rapped harshly on the doorframe before he entered.

‘Jack.’ Daniel waved him over. ‘Photos.’

‘So I see.’ Jack said. He yanked at his tie. ‘What have you got?’

‘Not much.’ Daniel admitted. He nudged his glasses up his nose. ‘The temple belonged to Ra.’

‘Ra?’ Jack pulled a face. ‘Ra as in…’

‘The one we blew up. Yes.’

‘Just checking.’ Jack said. ‘So?’

‘So, there was something in the temple.’ Daniel frowned and picked up the photo. ‘I can’t make out the writing. It’s fairly blurry.’

‘Perhaps it refers to this.’ Teal’c selected a picture from the stack and handed it to the other two men.

Daniel snatched it before Jack could take it. ‘That’s a Stargate.’

‘Are you sure?’ Jack plucked it from Daniel’s grasp. ‘OK. That’s a Stargate.’

‘Wow.’ Daniel blinked.

Jack tossed the picture onto the workbench. ‘I’m confused. I didn’t think the Stargate was in the temple.’

‘It isn’t.’ Daniel murmured without thinking. He caught Jack’s exasperated look. ‘The Stargate is in a clearing in the forest. The ruins of the temple were a short walk from it.’

‘Well, there’s a surprise.’ Jack picked up another photo. ‘Why the two Stargates?’

‘Maybe he was storing one there.’ Daniel theorised. ‘I mean, we know Ra transported gates to planets if they didn’t have one. He brought one here.’

‘The gate discovered at Giza.’ Teal’c commented.

‘Maybe…’ Daniel stopped suddenly.

‘Maybe?’ Jack prompted impatiently.

‘If the temple held something as valuable as a Stargate, it’s possible it was booby-trapped.’

‘You believe the seismic activity may have been caused by Colonel Carter and Doctor Calliday entering the temple.’ Teal’c realised.

Daniel shrugged. ‘It’s possible.’

‘How does this help Carter?’ Jack asked brusquely.

‘I don’t know.’ Daniel admitted.

Jack sighed and looked down at the photos again. He gaze caught on one. He slid it towards him. His fingers rested over Carter’s image. Calliday must have caught her unawares at the beginning of the mission. She was standing; alert, watchful, rain pouring down on her. Her eyes were on the tree-line looking for dangers. His heart clenched painfully in his chest; pride and love all mixed up with worry. Where was she now, he wondered. She hadn’t tried the gate again…was it too dangerous? Was she injured? Was she safe?

‘Landry said it would be a couple of hours.’ Jack bit out, his eyes were on the photo and oblivious to Daniel’s and Teal’c’s compassionate expressions. ‘I’m going to go change; get some rest. You should both do the same.’ He spun on his heel and walked away.

The safety of the locker room beckoned and it wasn’t until he was inside it that Jack remembered he didn’t have a locker there anymore. He sank wearily onto the bench and stared at the floor. He should get up; find an airman to get him BDUs and find some quarters. He heard the door open. He turned his head and found Teal’c standing just inside the door.

The Jaffa clasped his hands behind his back. ‘O’Neill.’

‘Don’t, Teal’c.’ Jack looked away from his friend. He shook his head. ‘Damn.’ He rubbed his hands over his face and stared at the floor.

The door opened again and Daniel entered carrying a stack of clean clothes. He walked over and placed them on the bench beside Jack. He handed the military man his locker key. ‘You can use my stuff.’

‘Thanks.’ Jack didn’t move.

Daniel and Teal’c exchanged a concerned look.

‘Colonel Carter has been in worse situations and prevailed.’ Teal’c said firmly.

‘I should have been with her.’ Jack’s words echoed harshly around the tiled room.

Teal’c moved slowly and sat beside him. He placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

Daniel shoved the clothes aside and sat on the other side of the military man. ‘We should have been with her, Jack.’

The sense of shared guilt eased Jack’s. He sighed. ‘Change sucks.’

Teal’c bowed his head. ‘Indeed.’

Chapter 6

Sam coughed weakly. She groaned and opened her eyes. Her body ached everywhere. Everywhere. She moved into a sitting position and leaned against the wall tiredly. Her eyes drifted back to the entrance of the temple. She could barely remember how she’d gotten back to the ruins.

She remembered seeing the crack in the ground…the DHD in its path…she had paused fortuitously as a lightening strike zig-zagged across the sky and hit the Stargate. She had dived off the steps as energy had crackled over the naquadah ring and she had hit her head on the steps, she remembered foggily.

She winced and reached up tentatively to touch the bump on the side of her head. ‘Ow.’ Just once could she be stranded somewhere on her own without a concussion, she thought with resigned amusement.

The pain brought focus. She had passed out, she remembered; she had woken up by the side of the Stargate with her face in the dirt, rain falling on her. The DHD had been wrecked; half in the ground, half out; the orange centre smashed. She knew the SGC would send a search party eventually but she’d needed shelter. The temple had been the first thing that had come to mind.

She had staggered back. The ground had been shaking with after tremors. She figured she had fallen once or twice. There were some impressive scratches on her hands, she realised, squinting at them. She had a vague recollection of crawling inside the temple and no idea how long she had been unconscious. She took an inventory. She was damp in places; soaked to the skin in others. Her gun was attached to her vest; her pack was on her back. She eased the pack off and pushed herself off the floor using the wall as leverage. She hobbled to the entrance and looked out on the darkening planet.

It was still raining.

Sam sighed. Her head ached; her body ached. Her bladder prompted her into a quick visit outdoors despite the weather. She was exhausted when she returned to the temple. She just had to hang in and the SGC would send a rescue team, she reminded herself. She leaned heavily on the stones. She really, really needed to sit down. She walked back to her pack and slid back down the wall. She should change into something drier; she had spare clothing in her pack; painkillers. She should check her injuries, clean them. She was just so tired.

Her spine stiffened. She was a Carter. She was a soldier. She could get herself dry and see to her wounds. Her mind set, she began to remove the poncho. She unclipped the gun and set it aside in easy reach. She took her vest off and gasped as her ribs protested. It took a long while to untangle the knots of her boots and pull them off. She reached into her pack and pulled out her fresh clothing.

Ten frustrating minutes later, Sam refastened her boots. She was dry. She had looked at the bruising on her ribs; she didn’t think they were broken. She had cleaned up the scrape on her knee, the one on her elbow and the scratches on her hands. Her head wound she had cleaned the best she could. She slumped back against the wall. She took some sips from her water canteen and swallowed some painkillers. She had enough rations to last forty-eight hours. She frowned.

Sam wondered why there was a delay. She checked her watch. It had been over fourteen hours since they had arrived on the planet. By her reckoning, they’d been on the planet barely an hour when the earthquake had started. SG12 must have been back at the SGC for hours. What was taking the time for them to send a rescue party? She frowned.

The lightening strike.

It had hit the gate when the wormhole had been outgoing to Earth. The energy would have translated through the wormhole, she mused. The last time that had happened, the SGC had taken heavy damage by all accounts. OK, Sam considered tiredly, if the same thing had happened, the SGC was probably repairing the gate. That was the delay.

She hoped.

She reached up and rubbed her head, trying to ease the sharp pain. She couldn’t help wishing General O’Neill was still in charge at the SGC. Not that she had anything against Landry. He seemed OK if a bit more formal than her former CO or even General Hammond. But she could not help wondering if everything was happening back at the SGC as it should. Landry was finding his feet…Sam sighed.

Well, General O’Neill wasn’t in charge at the SGC any longer. Teal’c was gone and Daniel would be soon headed to Atlantis. She shifted on the hard ground at a flicker of resentment. She was due to leave for Nellis herself in twenty-four hours but she knew she would never have requested the R&D assignment if it hadn’t been for the guys moving on. It just didn’t feel right staying at the SGC without them.

She wondered again how it had happened. One minute they had been celebrating winning the war; the next, all the men in her life had gone. She had lost them all. She pulled a face at her morose thought. She hadn’t lost any of them with maybe the exception of her father. The thought of him brought a wave of sadness. She and her father had gotten close in the years before his death and she missed him.

As for the other men in her life; she really should have expected Teal’c’s departure to Dakara, she mused ruefully. The Jaffa was the leader of the Free Jaffa but somehow she had missed the fact that when they finally won he would leave. She had known she would miss him but she hadn’t appreciated how much. Teal’c had been such a fixed, steady presence in her life.

Daniel’s departure she had anticipated; she congratulated herself on that. As soon as she had received the data burst from Atlantis she had known it was only a matter of time. So she had been prepared when Landry had told her of Doctor Weir’s request and she had been able to give her blessing without showing how much she hated the idea. Daniel had initially tried to pretend he didn’t want to go anymore but she knew he was only saying it out of some kind of responsibility to her and she wouldn’t let him – couldn’t let him give up on his dream. Daniel being Daniel had then suggested she should come with him but…Atlantis was so far away.

SG1 had been slated to go out on the Daedalus’s maiden voyage and she figured that would have been enjoyable; time in space with her team, a brief visit to the city and back again. But the need for the Daedalus to urgently deliver a ZPM to the besieged city had wiped out any possibility of SG1 going with it and in truth, she wasn’t keen on doing an extended tour there. She made another face. Maybe it was just the possibility of being isolated with Rodney McKay for so long…or maybe it was the idea of what she would be leaving behind, Cassie and the last of the men in her life; Jack O’Neill.

She sighed. She had made the decision to break up with Pete Shanahan because she had never resolved her feelings for the General – Jack. Pete had loved her; she had never doubted that, and she had loved him in a way but not enough. Not enough to continue deluding herself that she could marry him. Not that breaking up with Pete had led to her resolving her feelings for Jack.

Nope.

Her feelings were still hanging out there. She gave a small laugh at the image she provoked with the thought and winced. There had been a time when she had known how Jack felt about her; when every time he had looked at her she had known how much she was loved and admired despite the rules and regulations that kept them apart. But they had left their feelings buried in a room and she had thought he had moved on; that he only saw her as a friend, a team-mate. Someone who loved her but who wasn’t in love with her the way she was with him. Yet, there had been a moment just before her father had died when he had come to her and she had believed he had felt the same way she did again; had believed that they had come to some sort of unspoken agreement.

They had certainly been closer since that moment but until his transfer he had still been her CO, so Sam had not expected anything to openly change between them. When Jack had invited her fishing, she had accepted, hoping he would realise what her acceptance had meant after so many times of refusing him even if they had gone as a team. The trip had been great; chilled out and relaxed. It had been exactly what she needed. But, again, it hadn’t been what she had expected.

What had she expected, Sam thought crossly. Jack was hardly going to seduce her. He would never compromise her like that. It wasn’t like she intended to seduce him either but she hadn’t even tried discussing the situation with him. She had thought they had time. She rested her head on the cool stone and gave into the urge to close her eyes.

Jack’s promotion had been a shock. Not, she thought hastily, that he didn’t deserve it. He did. He was a brilliant leader. He deserved to be recognised for his achievements even if he downplayed them. When he had left for Washington she had comforted herself with the knowledge that maybe the move opened up some options for them. Homeworld Security had oversight of all things Stargate related but the SGC reported into the Pentagon. He was for the first time technically out of her chain of command even if Jack would still have some sway over her work. When she moved to Nellis there would be even more command distance between them. But Jack didn’t look as though he was going to take advantage of a technicality to request the Air Force give them some leeway. Maybe she had read him wrong in the turmoil of her father’s death. Maybe he did really only love her as a friend; maybe that’s all he wanted. Maybe he had met someone in Washington or reconnected with Kerry Johnson.

The harsh churn of jealousy turned her stomach and Sam reached clumsily for her water bottle. She sipped some water. She couldn’t blame him if he had found someone else…someone easier to be with…less complicated. She sighed deeply. She would hate it if he had though. Her mind drifted back to their conversation the day before. He had sounded like he cared about her…

‘You’re an idiot.’ Sam told herself out loud. Of course Jack cared about her; the problem was that she didn’t know if he still cared about her a lot more than he should.

Enough, she thought firmly. What was it about being stuck alone with a concussion that caused her to question her life and her choices? She should focus on survival. She just needed to stay warm, dry and alive until Landry sent a rescue team. That was all. At least she didn’t have a ship of missing personnel to worry about nor that same ship imploding.

Sam pulled a blanket out of her pack and wrapped it around her.

Warm.

Dry.

Alive.

She could do that. She closed her eyes.

‘Hello.’

Her eyes snapped open.

A young girl with curly brown hair looked back at her from the end of the tunnel.

Sam’s mouth went dry; her blue dazed eyes wide with shock. ‘Grace?’ She blinked.

The child was gone; the tunnel was empty.

Continued in Part III.