![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Fanfiction: Preservation
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S6 Metamorphosis
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Jack UST. Jonas & Teal'c friendship. Jack & Jonas friendship.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Written for entertainment purposes only.
‘You good to go, Carter?’ Jack asked briskly.
Sam glanced over and averted her eyes again quickly when she realised the Colonel was plucking the dog tags of the Russian team leader from the sodden bench where he had died. She felt her vision darken suddenly and she staggered as she fought to retain her balance. Breathe, she instructed herself harshly.
‘Carter?’ The urgency in the Colonel’s voice indicated how worried he was and she felt him take hold of her arm and steady her.
‘Dizzy, sir.’ She managed to get out. It was all she could do to focus on remaining upright.
‘Sit.’ He guided her to the edge of a bench and she reluctantly lowered her head between her knees, knowing he would insist on the position if she didn’t follow it.
‘Maybe Egar missed something.’ Jonas offered. ‘We should get him to check you out again.’ Jack said, crouching beside her. She could feel his hand on her knee.
‘No.’ Sam said as the rush of weakness eased and she regained her equilibrium. She raised her head cautiously and found all three men grouped around her with anxious expressions, some more guarded than others. ‘Really. Egar fixed me, I can feel it. It was just a dizzy spell.’
Jack moistened his lips and she could tell by the way he regarded her that he was considering options. The way she saw it they had two possible ways forward: he could leave her and one of the others behind while he went to report to the SGC and got a med team to come out to her, or they could all return to the SGC where she could get checked out properly.
‘I’ll be fine, sir.’ She assured him. Staying in the fortress was probably the more prudent course of action but she really wanted to just get home and she was counting on the Colonel not wanting to split the team up if he could avoid it.
Jack gave a small sigh. He stood up and glanced at Jonas. ‘And you’re sure you’re OK?’
‘I feel fine.’ Jonas said swiftly, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. ‘Like I said, I don’t think Nirrti did anything to me when I was in the machine.’
Jack looked back at her and Sam met his gaze hopefully. ‘OK,’ he conceded, ‘Jonas, take Carter’s pack...’
‘Sir,’ Sam began to protest.
He held up a finger. ‘No arguments, Carter. Just...’ he gestured at her, ‘focus on getting yourself back to the gate. Understood?’
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam shot Jonas an apologetic look but he simply hoisted her pack onto one shoulder with a smile.
Jack held out his hand and she grasped it to pull herself upwards.
She met his questioning look with a nod; she was OK. She let of him and tugged down on her vest before she picked up her P90.
‘Teal’c, take point.’ Jack ordered.
They walked out of the fortress single-file quickly finding the path back into the forest that led to the Stargate. Teal’c moved on ahead. Sam knew he would clear the way for them if they found any more of Nirrti’s Jaffa guarding the gate. The tension in his stride and the way he clasped his staff weapon gave away his readiness to protect them.
Sam’s gaze fell on Jonas immediately in front of her. The Kelownan had become very much a part of SG1. He might not have the same experience under his belt as the rest of them but he was courageous and smart. She had overheard him talking to Teal’c about Nirrti’s attempted seduction of him and how he had replied just before the Colonel had arrived back to take her to the machine. Jonas was gaining more confidence with each mission, Sam mused as she concentrated on the path. Apart from his run-in with Nirrti he and Teal’c had almost got them free when he’d run at Egar when they were captured.
His relationship with the Colonel had improved tremendously too. She’d heard the worry in Jack’s voice for Jonas when the Kelownan had been collected for Nirrti’s continued experiments on them all and when he’d questioned Jonas over whether he was really fine. She resisted looking over her shoulder at the Colonel.
She felt her cheeks warm with more than the effort of walking as she remembered how she’d allowed herself to curl up on his shoulder earlier that day. What must he think, Sam berated herself. Possibly what she’d hoped he’d never find out; that she still had feelings for him. What had she been thinking? That she was dying. That in her final hours she didn’t want to pretend that she didn’t care about him; didn’t need him.
Why do we always wait to tell people how we really feel?
The words she had said to her former team-mate Daniel Jackson as he had lain dying drifted into her head. Not that she had gone that far. She hadn’t made any confessions of love, of caring more than she should to the Colonel. Thank God. It was bad enough that she had given into her weakness and rested against him. If she’d said anything...she shuddered. She knew he had moved on from the feelings he’d once had for her and while she didn’t doubt he cared for her – his concern for her proved that – she believed it was nothing more than friendship. Occasionally she thought she saw something in his eyes when he looked at her but it was probably her wishful thinking.
Sam grimaced.
Maybe he wouldn’t read anything into it, Sam mused. She could hope that maybe he would just put it down to a team-mate, a friend, seeking human warmth and comfort in her final hours. Only they hadn’t been her final hours. Not that she’d been given the same out as Daniel; apparently, her imminent death hadn’t given her a free pass to the Ascension club but SG1’s luck had held. The Colonel had managed to convince Egar to look into Nirrti’s mind and discover the truth about the Goa’uld. The natives had been the ones to kill Nirrti and to save Sam by fixing her in the machine.
She shivered again, remembering the overwhelming feeling of wrong about her body after Nirrti had experimented on her. When she’d been released she’d known something had changed; something fundamental. The pain had been everywhere, permeating every cell. She had known she was dying. Just like the unfortunate Alebran and the Russian team leader, Sergei Evanov. She had wondered as she lay there awaiting her end if Daniel had felt the same when he had been dying; so much fear, so much regret. Although he had been ultimately saved by Ascension, his dying by a severe dose of radiation had similarities.
Perhaps, Sam considered as her mind flew back to the intellectual puzzle, the Ancient genetic machine worked in a similar way. Radiation did cause genetic mutations, usually over a long period of time...and the liquefying of the body internally could be a result of radiation poisoning, although normally external degradation to the body was as severe as the internal. Maybe the machine was able to target the radiation into someone’s DNA and accelerate changes within it without necessarily affecting the upper epidermis.
Sam sighed. She would never know how the machine worked. The natives intended to destroy it and she really couldn’t blame them. It was dangerous. If any Goa’uld got their hands on it and successfully managed to create an advanced human – it didn’t bear thinking about. A Goa’uld with that kind of power...they had enough problems with the Goa’uld in their original state. Anubis had become a major threat since he had returned and while he’d focused his efforts more on destroying the Tok’ra and only occasionally trying to destroy Earth, Sam couldn’t help but feel he would try again soon.
At least Anubis’s actions in regards to the Asgard seemed to have prompted their allies into rethinking their own strategy about the Goa’uld – perhaps that and the containment of the Replicators. Thor had stopped by the week before with the offer of Asgard shields and weapons for the Prometheus. He would return in another week to install them. It was a closely guarded secret at the SGC with only the President, General Hammond and SG1 in the know. The General had been keen to keep the news under wraps with the disclosure of the Stargate programme to the major world powers imminent and the President had agreed with him.
Sam was looking forward to working with the Asgard on the installation. Her lips twitched. Rodney McKay was going to be so annoyed that he hadn’t been told. She couldn’t wait to see his face when he found out. He was going to be...
The rush of nausea took her by surprise. She lurched to the side of the path and bent over as the bile pushed up through her gullet, burning the back of her throat as she gagged and vomited helplessly. Her eyes stung with unexpected tears; frustration, weakness...she blinked them back furiously as she caught her breath.
‘Carter.’
Jack was suddenly beside her and she grabbed hold of his vest unthinkingly as she bent double again and heaved. The meagre contents of her stomach were already up and she was left with painful cramping. She felt her whole body tremble as she desperately breathed in slowly, trying to will the nausea away.
She felt Jack’s hand brush through her hair; one of his arms was around her waist she realised, supporting her. She straightened tentatively and he took her P90 from her as he led her away where her nostrils weren’t assailed by the acrid smell of vomit. She absently noticed a concerned Teal’c and Jonas hovering further along the path.
‘Sit.’ Jack ordered, gesturing at a large log.
‘I’m...’
‘Sit, damn it.’ She sat. Or rather half collapsed.
‘O’Neill.’ Teal’c ran up. He looked over at her and she saw his worry for her flicker in the depths of his dark eyes before he returned his attention to the Colonel.
‘You and Jonas carry on to the gate.’ Jack said crisply, giving Teal’c her P90 to carry. ‘Make sure it’s secure. Signal us when you’re ready to gate through and I’ll bring Carter.’
Sam glanced around and realised as she placed the vegetation patterns and the shape of the path that they were almost there.
Teal’c inclined his head, hoisted his weapon and turned to jog back to the path. He and Jonas both set off again. She felt a murmur of guilt.
Jack offered her a canteen of water. She rinsed her mouth out twice, spitting the liquid onto the ground behind the log before she took a couple of hesitant sips. The cool water slid down her raw throat and into her belly. She held a breath but the water didn’t rise back up. She handed the canteen back. He swapped it for a mint and she slipped it between her lips, sucking on the hard candy, grateful as the sharp freshness replaced the taste of bile.
‘Thank you, sir.’ Sam said quietly as he sat beside her and waited.
‘Are you sure we shouldn’t take you back to the machine?’ He asked, adjusting the hold on his P90. His brown eyes scanned the undergrowth for threats.
‘I’m sure.’ Sam said. It was a few more minutes before their radios crackled into life.
‘O’Neill, this is Teal’c.’ The Jaffa’s voice rumbled out of the tiny speaker. ‘The gate is secure and Jonas Quinn has dialled Earth.’
‘Send Jonas through to organise a med team for Carter’s arrival and update the General.’ Jack’s look stopped her from protesting.
‘Understood.’ Teal’c replied.
The radio went silent.
Sam pushed herself upwards and felt herself sway; her body trembling with weakness. Jack’s arm went around her waist to support her. She took a breath and pushed away from him but he held onto her.
‘Humour me, Carter.’ Jack ordered.
Sam leaned against him as they set back along the path and as her knees shook with each step, she was grateful the Colonel had insisted on helping her. Just a few more steps, Sam promised herself. Her eyes drank in the markers she had memorised on their arrival; a big rock, a misshapen tree, a patch of flowers among the green woodland. They stepped out into the Stargate clearing and she gave a huff of relief.
Teal’c jogged up to meet them and she realised he must have given her P90 to Jonas because he was only carrying his staff weapon. He moved to her other side and she realised he was positioning himself to support her should she collapse.
She must look terrible, Sam considered wryly.
The blue puddle rippled and she felt a wave of tiredness as they walked towards it. Her legs felt like jello and she stumbled on a patch of uneven ground. Beside her, Jack swore lightly and before she could process it, he’d handed his P90 to Teal’c and he was moving to lift her into his arms.
Her arms went around his neck, automatically clutching at him as her world shifted. She absently thought about protesting but she couldn’t muster the energy. She closed her eyes as he carried her the remaining distance and she felt the chill of the event horizon hit her skin.
The disorientation of the wormhole had her head spinning as they exited and she could feel her stomach rolling again in protest. She whimpered, barely aware of the bright lights of the SGC and Jack yelling for medics as she gave into the darkness beckoning her.
The petite doctor stepped up on the other side of the gurney. ‘Colonel?’ Janet asked impatiently as she checked Sam’s pupil reaction. Her hand slid down Sam’s neck to check her pulse.
‘Nirrti placed her in the gene machine and she almost died. The natives fixed her but she’s been dizzy and she threw up on the walk back to the Stargate.’ Jack forced the words out, aiming for a dispassionate tone at odds with the way he stayed pinned to the side of the gurney. He gestured tiredly at Jonas. ‘You need to check him over too.’
‘Who, me?’ Jonas’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You were in the machine, Jonas.’ Jack snapped. ‘You need to be checked out.’
Janet nodded. Her eyes snapped to the General. ‘With your permission, sir.’
Hammond nodded.
Her dark eyes speared Jonas. ‘You too, Jonas.’
Jonas gave a sigh but followed after her.
The General halted Jack as he made to go after the gurney. ‘Colonel? The Russian team reported back when you didn’t make contact. We were about to send them and a rescue team through.’
Jack’s jaw moved as he repressed the retort that sprang to his lips and he shifted his weight impatiently as Teal’c halted his own exit and stood beside him. He had a duty to report, Jack reminded himself. He swallowed his resentment. Carter was in good hands; there was little he could do but hang around the infirmary and annoy the hell out of the doc.
He took a step towards the General. ‘We managed to get into the fortress but got ambushed by Nirrti.’ Jack reported succinctly. He reached into his vest pocket and drew out the dog tags he’d retrieved. ‘She tortured Evanov in the machine first. He didn’t make it.’
Hammond took the dog tags with a grimace. ‘I’ll inform the Russians.’
Jack knew it was going to be a difficult conversation especially as the SGC was just about to head into a delicate disclosure of the Stargate programme. They needed to keep the Russians onside. Evanov’s death was going to screw with that.
‘We promised the natives help and supplies, General.’ Jack continued. ‘They helped get us out; killed Nirrti.’
Hammond nodded. ‘We’ll organise a team to go back through and make contact. It would be helpful if either you or Teal’c could go through with them.’
Jack’s heart sank but he knew he had a responsibility...
‘I will go, General Hammond.’
Jack turned sharply to the Jaffa.
Teal’c ignored him. ‘I have no need of rest unlike Colonel O’Neill.’
Hammond’s eyebrows rose up his forehead.
‘I could go too, General.’ Jack sighed, unwilling to admit he’d prefer to stay and check on the others.
The General motioned at Jack. ‘Teal’c will suffice, Colonel. Get yourself to the infirmary.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Jack said. He patted Teal’c’s arm on his way out, a thank you for stepping in. Teal’c inclined his head.
Jack made for the elevator and he was pleased to find it empty. He stepped in and slumped against the back of the compartment, dropping his gaze to the floor. The mission had been a bust from the get-go. Alebran’s intel had been partial at best and they’d made too many assumptions about the willingness of the natives to be rescued. If he hadn’t managed to get through to Egar; if Egar hadn’t taken the knowledge of how to use the machine...they would have lost Carter along with Evanov. Maybe they still would.
The thought had him moving; pushing off the back of the compartment and pacing until the doors opened on the infirmary level. He headed straight for the isolation rooms. He was half-way down the corridor when Janet stepped out of one of the rooms. She headed straight for him and he stopped.
‘Carter?’ Jack asked.
‘She regained consciousness.’ Janet informed him.
He felt his stomach flip in relief. ‘That’s good, right?’
‘She’s resting.’ Janet said cautiously. ‘We’re monitoring her. From what you and Jonas told me, her body underwent a severe shock today both in being altered initially and in being restored.’
‘So...’
‘So, we can’t know the exact side-effects of that. She may continue to experience sickness and dizziness; her condition may improve or deteriorate.’ Janet said bluntly. ‘This is way out of our knowledge and experience, Colonel.’
Jack’s jaw clenched painfully.
‘We’re going to keep monitoring her.’ Janet said firmly.
Her determined look reassured Jack somewhat. He tried to let go of the anxiety eating at his gut. Carter was in the best place; if something happened, the doc would take care of her. ‘Jonas?’ Jack asked.
‘We’re running several tests.’ Janet admitted, pushing her hands into the deep pockets of her white coat. ‘Outwardly, he appears to be unaffected. He’s in good spirits.’ She shrugged. ‘If Nirrti altered his DNA in any way, it’s not immediately obvious and the tests should tell us more. I’ve asked him to stay in the infirmary tonight for observation.’
‘OK.’ Jack said.
Janet motioned with her head. ‘Follow me. I’ll do your post mission check.’
Jack followed her down the hall into the main treatment rooms without arguing; the sooner he got done, the sooner he was free to check in on his team. He sat through her examination, answering the questions quickly.
She finished her notations and clicked the pen off. ‘You’re all done, Colonel.’
‘Great.’ He hopped off the bed, grabbing the jacket he had shucked off at the beginning of the exam.
‘Colonel.’ Janet cleared her throat.
Jack looked at her questioningly. Nirrti’s really dead?’ Janet asked.
Jack nodded. ‘Dead.’ He paused as he watched something flicker over her face; a strange mix of relief and guilt. ‘Doc?’
‘It’s nothing.’ Janet claimed.
He raised an eyebrow.
Janet’s lips twisted and he watched as her fingers clutched the clipboard she held tight enough to turn the knuckles white. ‘It’s Cassie.’ She admitted with a sigh. ‘I don’t know if I should tell her or to leave it alone.’ Her gaze dropped away from his. ‘I don’t want her feeling responsible for what Nirrti’s done to Sam. What she did to Alebran and Evanov.’
‘It’s not your fault either, Doc.’ Jack said hearing the guilt in her voice.
‘Sir, Nirrti was released because of me.’ Janet insisted.
‘Nirrti was released because Hammond agreed to the deal and we honoured it.’ Jack said brusquely. Which had been a bad move; he really should have killed the snake as soon as she had saved Cassie. He waved at Janet. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it.’
Janet made a face. ‘I guess that’s easier said than done.’ She looked at him knowingly.
Touché, Jack thought tiredly. Because when all was said and done he felt just as responsible as she did. Hell, he’d even walked Nirrti into the gate room and waved her off on her merry way. He gestured at Janet with his jacket and avoided the question. ‘Which rooms are Jonas and Carter in?’
She gave a sigh. ‘Major Carter is in isolation room 4; Jonas in 5.’
Jack got to the doorway and turned to look at her again. ‘You should tell Cassie, you know, that Nirrti’s dead.’
Janet nodded slowly.
Jack headed at a brisk pace to the isolation rooms. He got to Jonas’s room first. The door was open and he heard Jonas before he saw him, a murmur of low voice that drifted out into the open corridor. The faint sound of a woman’s laughter followed it and Jack raised his eyebrows.
He rapped sharply on the door and entered. Jonas sat up straighter on the medical bed as Jack approached. Jack absently noted the Kelownan had been changed into blue medical pyjamas but what caught his attention was the blushing nurse attending to him. She remarked she’d check on Jonas later and ran out.
‘Sorry.’ Jack allowed himself to be somewhat amused as Jonas smiled sheepishly. ‘I didn’t mean to chase her away.’
Jonas shrugged. He rested back against the pillows. ‘There’s always later, right? It’s not like I’m going anywhere.’
Jack noted the edge of frustration. ‘Better safe than sorry.’
‘I feel fine.’ Jonas insisted.
‘Yes. Well.’ Jack waved at him with his jacket. ‘You say that now.’ He searched around for something to cheer the younger man up. ‘And hey, you seem to be a big hit with that nurse.’
Jonas shifted position and ducked his head. ‘I can’t believe I was just joking with Sam this morning about getting sick so I could be in the infirmary, you know, so I could spend time with Nurse Rush.’
Jack’s eyebrows rose steadily up his head and decided knowing which nurse Jonas had the hots for was more information than he needed to know.
‘How is she?’ Jonas asked.
‘Nurse Rush?’ Jack shot back confused.
‘Sam.’ Jonas corrected swiftly. ‘I mean, have you heard anything?’
‘The doc thinks Carter’s just reacting to her DNA being remixed twice in one day.’ Jack said crisply. He hoped that was all it was.
‘Nirrti didn’t do anything to me.’ Jonas said. ‘She was too interested in, uh, well, making me her consort.’
Jack raised his scarred eyebrow. ‘Let me guess; first time being seduced by a Goa’uld?’
Jonas gave an embarrassed smile.
‘I should, uh,’ Jack motioned toward the door, ‘go; check on Carter.’
‘Tell her I said hi.’ Jonas said.
Jack nodded. ‘Jonas.’
The Kelownan looked at him quizzically. ‘You did a good job today.’ Jack said sincerely.
Jonas looked surprised but he smiled again. ‘Thanks, Colonel.’
Jack gave another brief nod of acknowledgement and walked out. He’d meant what he’d said. Jonas was a good addition to SG1. He wasn’t Daniel but who was? Jonas worked hard and he was a good kid. He deserved his place. And given that, maybe it was time to cut him some slack, Jack considered.
It was a short walk to Carter’s room from Jonas’s and Jack was pleased to find it empty except for the occupant herself. She was curled up in a foetal position facing the door. Wires snaked out of the bedclothes and into machines. Jack was reassured by them; it meant the medical staff were monitoring her, keeping her safe, alive.
Sam’s eyes opened as he neared the bed and pulled up a stool. He flung his jacket over the seat and sat down.
‘How’re you doing?’ He asked quietly. He scanned her pale face with concern.
‘I haven’t thrown up again.’ Sam replied.
Jack offered her a small smile of understanding.
‘Jonas?’ She asked.
‘He’s OK.’ He gestured at her. ‘Flirting with some nurse.’
She smiled weakly.
‘Get some rest.’ He ordered softly.
Worryingly Carter didn’t argue; she just slowly closed her eyes again. Jack propped his feet up on the lower rung of the stool and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He watched her; allowing himself the luxury. She had almost died.
The truth of it stampeded through him like a herd of elephants. He’d almost lost her. Again. How many more times would he almost lose her before he actually did? His eyes drifted over her sleeping form as his thumb slid against his palm unconsciously.
‘You made it through. You’re going to be alright.’
‘No, sir; I don’t think I am.’
It wasn’t like Carter to be so fatalistic. Her standard response was usually ‘I’m fine’ even when she plainly wasn’t. He didn’t want to think about how much the thought of losing Carter scared him; how much it reminded him of her crumpled at his feet and a zat in his hand. His mind careened away from the topic, searching desperately for something else...anything else.
The feel of her huddled up beside him, her head on his shoulder.
He dropped his gaze from Carter to the floor. He had suspected for a while that Carter’s feelings for him had resurfaced. He had allowed himself to revel in the idea if he was honest, Jack considered with some chagrin. He couldn’t deny that part of him liked that she hadn’t been able to move on any more than he had. Jack’s lips tightened.
Because of her feelings Carter had turned to him for comfort because she was dying – and he knew how much it had cost her to make that one small move yet what had he given her in response? Nothing. Less than nothing. He should have been able to have put his arm around her, to have held her. He could have done it as her friend never mind the man who loved her; he should have done it. Instead, he’d barely acknowledged her, too afraid she would read something more than just friendship into his actions; too afraid she would discover that he still loved her.
She deserved better. She deserved to be loved by someone who could love her openly; who wouldn’t think twice about putting his arm around her when she was hurting. And that wasn’t him; not while he was her CO and they had a mission which had to come first. Not when he had to protect her with a mask of indifference so she wouldn’t be targeted anymore than she already was. But he could do better at being her friend, Jack thought almost angrily; and he could have this moment with her; just watching over her, making sure she was OK. He made her that promise as he watched her sleep.
‘You did the right thing.’
He didn’t jump at the sound of Oma’s voice beside him. He was getting used to Ascended females turning up seemingly out of nowhere.
‘Oma.’ He folded his arms into the wide sleeves of his robes. ‘What brings you by?’
‘I think the question is what brings you by?’ Oma returned.
He glanced at her. She had taken her usual mortal form of a mature woman; a brunette with a serene expression and lively intelligence lighting her eyes. He wondered briefly if she had looked the same before she Ascended. She was dressed as he was in Abydonian robes, but hers shimmered with the power of her Ascended form whereas his merely gave off a faint glow. He gave a moment’s thanks that neither of them could be seen by Anubis’s Jaffa milling around the ruined ziggurat.
Daniel pointed at them. ‘Or should the question be what brings them by?’
Oma looked over at the guards. ‘Why does it interest you?’
‘Why doesn’t it interest you?’ Daniel retorted with more than a touch of resentment. He was getting tired of getting only questions and no answers.
‘I didn’t say I wasn’t interested.’ Oma said softly.
The reply was unusual enough that it caught Daniel’s attention.
‘But there is a difference between being interested and being able to interfere.’ Oma continued smoothly.
‘Who said I was going to interfere?’ Daniel rejoined.
Oma stared at him. ‘Then what are you doing here?’
‘I’m interested.’ Daniel admitted. He gestured towards the ziggurat where the Jaffa were digging through the rubble. ‘Anubis is after the Eye of Tiamat.’
‘And he seeks it here.’ Oma mused, a small frown creasing her forehead.
‘Oh, it’s here.’ Daniel confirmed dryly.
Oma looked at him quizzically.
‘We, I mean SG1, we buried it when we blew up the ziggurat to kill the Goa’uld.’ Daniel explained. ‘They dig long enough they should find it. That is if it wasn’t destroyed in the explosion.’
‘It was not.’ Oma said with a confidence that told Daniel she knew on some other level than simple knowledge.
‘Then by the end of the day he’ll have two Eyes. The one he recovered from Hathor’s temple and Tiamat’s.’
‘He is gathering the Eyes?’ Oma asked.
He frowned as concern drifted across her face. ‘That’s not a happy look.’
Oma sighed. ‘The Eyes were once part of a weapon capable of destroying all life on a single planet.’
‘So I’ve been told.’ Daniel murmured. ‘If Anubis gets the Eyes...’
‘Then he can rebuild the weapon.’ Oma agreed. She drew her robes closer as though chilled despite the desert temperature.
‘He would have an incredible advantage.’ Daniel commented. ‘Against the other System Lords; against Earth...any planet.’
‘Yes.’ Oma said faintly.
‘And that bothers you.’ Daniel realised.
One of the Jaffa yelled and Anubis’s First Prime Herak hurried over to the site. Daniel ignored the activity, his attention fixed on his Ascended mentor.
‘Of course the potential loss of life at the hands of someone that evil bothers me.’ Oma said sharply. ‘Just because I cannot interfere doesn’t mean I’m immune to caring, Daniel.’
Daniel stood slightly stunned beside her. It was the first time that he felt that he’d heard the unadorned truth pass her lips, uncomplicated by cryptic notions or answers within answers. ‘I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t care.’ He said softly.
Oma breathed in deeply, apparently regaining her calm. ‘No matter how much we might want to, we cannot interfere.’ She shifted with a rustle of her robes. ‘I take so many chances Ascending people...’
Her voice shook and Daniel took a step toward her.
Oma sighed. ‘I cannot risk anything more.’
‘I know.’ Daniel reached out to her and as his hand touched her shoulder he felt her power mingle with his. So much older than his; so much deeper.
‘Then why are you here, Daniel?’ Oma asked again.
Daniel sighed and dropped his hand. He hugged his torso tightly. ‘I’m following my path.’
Oma looked at him, her eyes meeting his searchingly. Maybe, he mused, his answer had surprised her.
‘Perhaps you are right.’ She said.
There was a swirl of sand and light, and in the next breath she was gone. Daniel blinked. He wondered whether her words were approval, acceptance or something else entirely.
There was a yell and Daniel’s attention snapped back to the ziggurat: Herak hold aloft the Eye of Tiamat in the blazing sun.
‘Thanks for coming so promptly, Colonel.’ Hammond said as Jack moved to stand beside the desk in an at ease position, legs slightly apart, arms behind his back, his chest pushed out in the black t-shirt he wore with his sliver dog tags glinting against it.
Jack acknowledged Major Davis with a nod before he met Chekov’s steely stare. ‘Colonel.’
‘Colonel.’
Hammond gestured at Davis who left the office and closed the door to the briefing room behind him. ‘Colonel Chekov arrived early to be briefed ahead of the meeting in Washington. He has some additional questions about the mission to P3X367 that he’d like to ask you.’
He shot Jack a look that asked him to play ball. They needed the Russians onside in the disclosure hearing which the Russians didn’t actually know about exactly, and the last time Jack had crossed Chekov’s path the words ‘bite me’ might have been used.
‘Of course, General.’ Jack said neutrally, refusing to give voice to the remark that their reports pretty much covered what had happened. His gaze shifted to Chekov who stood stiffly in front of Hammond’s desk.
Chekov viewed him with suspicion. ‘You can surely appreciate why I have questions, Colonel. Once again, you are in charge of a mission with a Russian team, and once again, one of them does not make it home.’
Jack bristled with the implication and counted to ten in his head before he replied. ‘I take full responsibility for Evanov’s death.’
There was a stunned silence in the office.
‘You take full responsibility?’ Chekov sputtered, motioning at him.
‘I was in command.’ Jack said briskly. ‘Evanov was following my orders.’
‘Then you admit responsibility?’ Chekov pressed.
‘As I said in my report, we made too many assumptions based on Alebran’s intel.’ Jack said. He let his mind go back over it; they’d assumed just because Alebran had wanted them to help him that the other villagers did too; they hadn’t known about the additional powers Nirrti had given her followers. He pulled a face. ‘We got taken by surprise and it cost us.’
Chekov’s mouth was agape. ‘I see.’
‘I want you to know Evanov died with honour.’ Jack continued sincerely. He hadn’t really known Sergei but he’d been impressed with him on their short mission together. ‘And I’d like to offer my sincere condolences on his loss.’
‘Thank you, Colonel.’ Chekov said quietly. He scanned Jack’s face intently. ‘Perhaps it would be safe to conclude that this was simply a terrible tragedy, and that Nirrti is ultimately to blame, hmmm?’
‘I think we can agree on that.’ Hammond inserted before Jack could speak.
‘How is Major Carter and Mister Quinn?’ Chekov asked, folding his hands in front of him.
‘Jonas Quinn is fine.’ Hammond replied. ‘Major Carter is at home on medical leave recovering.’
Jack didn’t allow any of his personal pleasure show. Carter had been released from the infirmary the day before. She’d had twenty-four hours of her body seizing and vomiting before she had stabilised. Fraiser was satisfied there would be no further repercussions but she’d put Carter on leave for a couple of days to regain her strength before allowing her to return to active duty. Apparently, Nirrti hadn’t done anything to Jonas but try and seduce him; his tests had come back clean.
‘Please give her my best wishes.’ Chekov said formally. He turned to Hammond. ‘I will see you tomorrow in Washington, General?’
‘Of course.’ Hammond said politely.
Chekov made his way out of the office and Jack breathed out silently in relief.
‘Thank you, Colonel.’ Hammond said with heartfelt gratitude.
Jack shrugged. ‘I meant every word, sir.’
‘I know you did, Jack.’ Hammond sighed heavily as he sat down, the leather chair creaking under his weight. ‘I know we promised ourselves that we would run the SGC with integrity, but...’ he shook his head, ‘we should never have let Nirrti go once she healed Cassandra Fraiser.’
‘No, sir.’ Jack agreed with him. ‘We should never have honoured the deal.’
‘Maybe there’s something to be said for not making deals with the devil.’ Hammond murmured. His blue eyes caught Jack’s. ‘I know we’re all feeling responsible here, Colonel, but the truth is that Nirrti is ultimately responsible for what she did.’
But it wasn’t that easy and Jack knew the General knew that. They had knowingly let her loose on the galaxy. ‘With your permission, sir.’
For a second, Jack thought Hammond was going to argue before his CO nodded slowly.
‘Before you go, Colonel.’ Hammond opened his desk drawer and extracted a small white stone used for communication with the Asgard. ‘I’ve briefed Thor on the disclosure and agreed that you’ll contact him if it becomes necessary.’
Jack took the stone and gave a sharp nod. He looked at Hammond. ‘Good luck tomorrow, sir.’
He made his way out of the office and he took the elevator to Daniel’s office where he’d left Jonas and Teal’c. He wondered if he’d ever start thinking about it as Jonas’s office – if he should start thinking of it as Jonas’s office before dismissing it as unimportant. He strode in and stopped at the sight of Jonas and Teal’c huddled around the computer. He walked up behind them quietly and his eyebrow rose as he realised they were on a dating tips site. OK. So not something he wanted to discuss with them ever.
He cleared his throat.
Jonas jumped. ‘Colonel.’
‘Jonas.’ Jack avoided looking at the computer screen.
‘Perhaps Colonel O’Neill will be able to answer your question.’ Teal’c advised, slipping from his chair to stand beside Jack with a smug expression.
Jack glared at him.
Jonas looked at the Jaffa with horror before darting a hopeful gaze toward Jack.
Jack sighed and waved at him. ‘Fine. Ask.’
‘Nurse Rush has agreed to go on a date with me tomorrow afternoon.’ Jonas explained hurriedly. ‘Now, I’ve read several books on the subject...’
‘Of course you have.’ Jack muttered, crossing his arms and glaring again at Teal’c who looked serenely back at him.
‘...and they all give conflicting information.’ Jonas concluded.
‘And your question is?’ Jack pressed.
‘Well, what’s usual for a first date here?’ Jonas said eagerly, his youthful expression brimming with earnest enthusiasm.
Jack shot Teal’c another look.
‘I am unfamiliar with Earth mating customs.’ Teal’c said firmly.
Unfamiliar, his ass. The Jaffa was addicted to Oprah.
Jack sighed and looked at Jonas. ‘You dated on Kelowna?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, what’s usual for a first date there?’ Jack asked briskly.
‘Usually you have dinner with your family or, in the absence of family, someone you respect.’ Jonas explained happily. ‘Many of the customs I’ve read about Earth mention something similar particularly in Asian culture but it doesn’t seem to be the fashion here in the West where...’
Jack held up a finger to stem the tide of words and lecture on Western dating norms. ‘Ah.’
‘I have thought about taking her to see Doctor Kieran but he hasn’t been well recently and well,’ Jonas made a face as he crossed his arms, ‘I’m not sure Nurse Rush would appreciate being taken to a mental institution.’
The temptation to disagree and encourage Jonas to take Rush to a mental ward on a first date just for the sheer entertainment value whispered at Jack but he ignored it especially given the way Teal’c was staring him down with his ‘you will not tease Jonas Quinn in this matter’ expression; he reminded himself that he had promised he’d cut the kid some slack and he’d meant it.
‘How about a team barbeque?’ Jack suggested.
‘Really?’ Jonas’s face brightened.
‘Sure.’ Jack said easily. They were all off duty in the afternoon and it wasn’t as though he’d had plans. ‘We can do it at my place. Three o’clock fine with you?’
‘That’s great.’ Jonas said. ‘Thank you, Colonel.’
Jack nodded and headed for the door. He decided a strategic retreat was called for before he was asked for further dating advice and had to admit his own lack of a life outside the SGC. ‘Call Carter and invite her along; tell her to bring beer.’ He called over his shoulder.
If he had to suffer through shepherding Jonas through his first date on Earth, she should too, Jack reasoned smugly.
‘Cass?’
Cassie stirred, her brown hair with its reddish tinge falling over her face as she turned back to the game. She picked up a pawn.
Sam lifted her denim clad legs onto the sofa and tucked them beneath her as she regarded the young woman with concern. ‘Something on your mind?’
‘Hmmm?’ Cassie looked up at her suddenly as though startled. ‘Sorry.’ She flushed. ‘I’m just not really in the mood for this today.’
‘We don’t have to play.’ Sam said, brushing imaginary lint off her blue sweater.
‘Thanks.’ Cassie put the pawn down and turned back to the window.
‘You want to do something else?’ Sam asked gently. ‘Or do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?’
Cassie shook her head. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘OK.’ Sam had a feeling she knew what was troubling the teen but if Cassie didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t push her. ‘Hot chocolate?’
Cassie’s gaze slid back to her. ‘I’m not a kid.’
‘No,’ Sam agreed, trying not to feel hurt at the sharp tone, ‘but hot chocolate always makes me feel better.’ She paused momentarily. ‘Or ice-cream.’ She didn’t mention a glass of wine which was her other standby; Cassie had dabbled with alcohol after Daniel’s death and she didn’t want to bring it up again.
‘Like ice-cream or hot chocolate’s going to help.’ Cassie rolled her eyes. Sam raised an eyebrow. Cassie fidgeted under her gaze, her fingers worrying at the buttons on her blouse. ‘Mom told me about Nirrti.’
‘Yeah, I figured.’ Sam said softly.
‘I thought...’ Cassie began, her gaze dropping back to the chess game, ‘I thought I’d be happy, you know, but...’
‘But?’ prompted Sam.
‘But she hurt so many people.’ Cassie’s face lifted and Sam’s heart clenched at the sight of tears glittering in Cassie’s eyes. ‘Because of me.’
‘Oh, Cassie.’ Sam patted the cushion beside her and Cassie moved to join her, the need for comfort apparently winning out against the teenage mandate to look cool. She put her arm around Cassie and felt the young girl snuggle into her. She stroked back Cassie’s hair. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘You only let her go because of me.’ Cassie argued. ‘Because of the deal she made to heal me.’
‘Cassie, you are not to blame.’
‘But...’
‘Look,’ Sam said firmly, ‘I won’t disagree that it was the General’s decision to honour the deal to heal you that freed her but you had no part in that decision. Your Mom, me, the Colonel, Daniel...we share some of the responsibility for what she did to the people on P3X367 because we argued to let her go but you do not.’
‘If I hadn’t been sick though.’ Cassie murmured.
‘You were only sick because of Nirrti’s genetic manipulations.’ Sam pointed out. ‘It’s not your fault. OK?’
‘OK.’
It might have been said unwillingly but Sam would take it. She figured that she, Janet and everyone else in Cassie’s life would have to tell her the same thing and often before Cassie would truly begin to believe it.
Cassie sighed. ‘Daniel said the same thing.’
Sam froze. ‘Daniel?’
‘Yeah,’ Cassie said, cuddling closer, ‘I had this really weird dream about him last night. He was helping me study, you know, like he used to and...suddenly, in the dream, he just turned to me and said it wasn’t my fault.’
Sam rubbed Cassie’s back soothingly. ‘Sounds like something Daniel would say.’
‘Do you dream about him?’ Cassie asked bluntly.
Sam pressed her lips together; grief swelling inside her again. It was more muted than it had been in the immediacy of Daniel’s death but it still hurt; still had the power to take her breath and make her eyes sting. ‘Yeah, sometimes.’
‘I miss him.’ Cassie said.
‘Me too.’ Sam admitted thickly.
‘Sam?’ The word was muffled into Sam’s shoulder.
‘Yeah?’ Sam asked.
‘Can we have hot chocolate and ice-cream?’ Cassie lifted her head and smiled tearfully at Sam.
Sam smiled back. ‘Sure; why not?’
It was a question that came back to haunt Sam hours later when she lay in bed unable to sleep. Too much sugar, she berated herself as she turned over for the umpteenth time, ignoring the thoughts of Nirrti, of Cassie, of Daniel, of almost dying that were chasing each other through her head.
She glared at the clock, willing the neon figures to say something other than zero-one-hundred. This was stupid, Sam thought exasperated. She just wasn’t tired. She could get some work done, Sam mused. She had her laptop. There was some analysis work that she could do or a few reports that still needed finalising.
Her decision made, she snapped the light on beside the bed and shoved the covers back, intending to head for her small office area. She grabbed her cell phone and stopped abruptly, sitting on the edge of her bed, illuminated by the small puddle of amber light. Her thumb slid over the smooth plastic of the phone. She’d always called Daniel when she’d needed someone to talk to in the middle of the night. Not often and not so much in the year before he’d died when she’d been unable to talk to anyone about what was really bothering her given talking about it would mean acknowledging it was a problem. But she had called him in the past. Her lips twisted. She wondered if he had a number she could call on the Ascended plane.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she recalled the Colonel’s offer that she should call him instead of Daniel if she couldn’t sleep. Her fingers tapped along the plastic. Bad idea, Sam, she told herself brusquely. The Colonel had probably only made the offer to be polite. And even if he’d meant it, it didn’t mean she should take him up on it. She’d already given away too much of what she felt with her cuddling up to him in the cell. If she called him he would know.
Nope.
Bad idea.
Sam looked at the phone in her hand and shook her head decisively, placing it back on the bedside table. She rubbed her bare knees, acknowledging the chill in the house. Working lost its appeal as she considered the cold walk through to the study. She climbed back under the covers, enjoying the warmth as she tucked herself in again. She reached for the light and plunged the room into darkness.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark; to make out the various shadowy forms of her furniture. She stared up at the ceiling, absently tracking a small crack along the far corner.
She should call him.
Sam sighed impatiently at the thought. She should not call him. She turned over and resolutely closed her eyes.
But.
But, nothing.
He had offered. And she couldn’t sleep. And maybe it would help if she talked with someone.
Sam snorted into her pillow. Someone, yes. The Colonel, no.
She could call Janet. Maybe. Except. Janet was her doctor and Sam really didn’t want to confess that she was dwelling on almost dying; she was certain if she did, a psych eval would be in her near future. And then there was the fact that Janet was Cassie’s Mom, and she didn’t want to worry Janet when the other woman was probably already worried enough about how Cassie was taking Nirrti’s death. But she needed to tell someone.
She shifted onto her back and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling again. If she called the Colonel about Cassie...that would be OK, wouldn’t it? She didn’t have to call about her own worries; she could just call him about Cassie. In fact, he’d want to know. He was as fond of Cassie as she was. He’d want to help.
Sam sat up and snapped the light on again. She picked up her house phone and began to dial the Colonel, the numbers familiar and remembered with ease. Her thumb hovered over the last digit as her eyes caught on the clock. Sam grimaced. One-thirty. He was probably asleep. Maybe she shouldn’t call him. With a sigh as she lost her nerve, she slapped the phone back into its cradle.
She turned the light off again and pounded her pillow twice before throwing herself down on it. But there was the outside possibility that he was awake. He sometimes stayed up late watching the stars or watching the replays of some game. And he had offered as a friend; had said she could call if she couldn’t sleep.
The light clicked on for the third time. Sam held her breath as she dialled again. Cassie, she reminded herself; she was just calling him because she was worried about Cassie. The ringing on the other end had Sam nervously pulling up her covers, her fingers tightening on the fabric.
‘O’Neill.’
‘Sir?’ Sam managed to get out hesitantly. He sounded grumpy as though she had woken him up.
‘Carter.’ His voice changed in an instant, his grumpiness giving way to concern that warmed her, and settled some of the nerves chasing around her belly. ‘You OK?’
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam replied quickly. ‘I just...couldn’t sleep.’ She stared up at her ceiling at the long silence from the other end of the phone. It had been a bad idea to call him, she thought panicked. A really bad idea. She should just make her apologies and put the phone down. ‘I’m sorry, sir, I shouldn’t have called...’
‘Carter.’ He interrupted her briskly. ‘I distinctly remember telling you to call me if you couldn’t sleep.’
She let out a short breath of relief.
‘And what are friends for if you can’t be not asleep together, right?’ Jack said.
Friends. The word ran through her like a honed blade. Stupid to want more. So stupid. Why couldn’t she just accept his friendship? Her throat closed up and she struggled to get the words out. ‘Right, sir.’
There was a rustling noise as though he was getting comfortable and she pictured him in her head, turning over in his bed to lie on his back, putting the light on. ‘So, what’s on your mind?’
Sam shook her head, erasing the picture of him. ‘Cassie.’ She blurted out. ‘I’m worried about Cassie.’ Smooth, Sam, she berated herself. Couldn’t she just have a normal conversation with the man? ‘What about Cassie?’ Sam took a deep breath. ‘She was over today. She blames herself for Nirrti hurting everyone. I told her it wasn’t her fault.’
‘Let me guess; she didn’t go for it.’ Jack said dryly.
She smiled at his understanding. ‘She said she was fine when she left but...’
‘But as fine means not fine in Carter language,’ teased Jack.
Sam slid back down under the covers, holding the phone against her ear. ‘I just think Cassie could do with some cheering up.’
‘Hey, why don’t you invite her along to this barbeque thing tomorrow?’ Jack suggested.
‘Really?’ Sam blurted out. She felt a touch of sympathy for Lieutenant Stacey Rush. She rather doubted that a barbeque with Jonas’s team-mates, two of which were ranking officers, was Rush’s idea of a first date. Add in her boss’s daughter...
‘Sure, the more the merrier.’ Jack said. ‘It’ll even up the numbers.’
‘You mean of men and women.’ Sam said unthinkingly.
‘No, aliens to humans.’ Jack quipped.
Sam laughed out loud. ‘Are you sure this barbeque is a good idea, sir?’
‘I think it’s better than him taking her to see old Doc Kieran in the mental hospital.’ Jack replied.
‘He really wasn’t...’ Sam began.
‘No, he really wasn’t but he had thought about it.’ Jack replied. ‘It’s a Kelownan thing, Carter. Apparently it’s a tradition that they take their dates to meet the family first time out.’
‘So we’re standing in for Jonas’s family.’ Sam realised.
‘Well, we should check her out.’ Jack said. ‘I mean, she’s going to be dating Jonas and what do we know about her really except that she’s good with the big needle?’
She caught the hint of truth in his words; the innate protectiveness that he had for his team. ‘That’s sweet, sir.’
‘Did you just call me sweet?’ He sounded scandalised.
‘Uh.’ Sam smiled widely. ‘No?’
‘Carter, I am not sweet.’ Jack stated firmly.
‘No, sir.’ Sam replied, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of her voice. She decided on a strategic change of subject. ‘Will you call Cassie, sir?’ Sam figured Cassie would accept the invitation if it came from Jack.
‘Now?’
Her smile widened. ‘I was thinking later this morning at a more reasonable time.’
‘Right.’ Jack said. ‘I knew that.’
There was a comfortable pause.
‘Do you think Daniel misses us?’ The question tumbled out before Sam could stop it and she held her breath in the silence that followed.
‘I do.’ Jack said. It was such a simple and straightforward answer that Sam smiled.
The silence stretched and she realised with some surprise that she felt sleepy; that somewhere in the conversation her body had let go of all the nervous tension that been keeping her awake.
‘You think you can sleep now, Carter?’
‘Yes, sir.’ She hung onto the phone though, reluctant to end the conversation; reluctant to let go of the comfort of knowing he was on the other end of the line.
‘You know you should probably hang up.’ Jack pointed out.
She should; she knew she should. ‘’Night, sir.’
‘’Night, Carter.’
Sam slowed lowered the phone back into its cradle to end the call. She reached up and flicked the light off again. She huddled under the covers and closed her eyes, the conversation playing over in her head and making her smile again. Maybe being friends with him was good enough, she determined as she slid into sleep.
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S6 Metamorphosis
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Jack UST. Jonas & Teal'c friendship. Jack & Jonas friendship.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Written for entertainment purposes only.
Preservation
Samantha Carter couldn’t prevent the shiver that ran through her as SG1 re-entered the cells to gather the rest of their belongings. She ignored the concerned look Jack O’Neill shot her and concentrated on packing up her things. The villagers had apparently dumped everything that they could find that belonged to them in the middle of the cell. She gave a sigh of relief as Jonas Quinn handed her the laptop she always took off-world and she pushed it into her pack. It would have been a nightmare to replace. She shrugged into her tactical vest which Teal’c had passed to her ignoring the faint tremor in her limbs.‘You good to go, Carter?’ Jack asked briskly.
Sam glanced over and averted her eyes again quickly when she realised the Colonel was plucking the dog tags of the Russian team leader from the sodden bench where he had died. She felt her vision darken suddenly and she staggered as she fought to retain her balance. Breathe, she instructed herself harshly.
‘Carter?’ The urgency in the Colonel’s voice indicated how worried he was and she felt him take hold of her arm and steady her.
‘Dizzy, sir.’ She managed to get out. It was all she could do to focus on remaining upright.
‘Sit.’ He guided her to the edge of a bench and she reluctantly lowered her head between her knees, knowing he would insist on the position if she didn’t follow it.
‘Maybe Egar missed something.’ Jonas offered. ‘We should get him to check you out again.’ Jack said, crouching beside her. She could feel his hand on her knee.
‘No.’ Sam said as the rush of weakness eased and she regained her equilibrium. She raised her head cautiously and found all three men grouped around her with anxious expressions, some more guarded than others. ‘Really. Egar fixed me, I can feel it. It was just a dizzy spell.’
Jack moistened his lips and she could tell by the way he regarded her that he was considering options. The way she saw it they had two possible ways forward: he could leave her and one of the others behind while he went to report to the SGC and got a med team to come out to her, or they could all return to the SGC where she could get checked out properly.
‘I’ll be fine, sir.’ She assured him. Staying in the fortress was probably the more prudent course of action but she really wanted to just get home and she was counting on the Colonel not wanting to split the team up if he could avoid it.
Jack gave a small sigh. He stood up and glanced at Jonas. ‘And you’re sure you’re OK?’
‘I feel fine.’ Jonas said swiftly, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. ‘Like I said, I don’t think Nirrti did anything to me when I was in the machine.’
Jack looked back at her and Sam met his gaze hopefully. ‘OK,’ he conceded, ‘Jonas, take Carter’s pack...’
‘Sir,’ Sam began to protest.
He held up a finger. ‘No arguments, Carter. Just...’ he gestured at her, ‘focus on getting yourself back to the gate. Understood?’
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam shot Jonas an apologetic look but he simply hoisted her pack onto one shoulder with a smile.
Jack held out his hand and she grasped it to pull herself upwards.
She met his questioning look with a nod; she was OK. She let of him and tugged down on her vest before she picked up her P90.
‘Teal’c, take point.’ Jack ordered.
They walked out of the fortress single-file quickly finding the path back into the forest that led to the Stargate. Teal’c moved on ahead. Sam knew he would clear the way for them if they found any more of Nirrti’s Jaffa guarding the gate. The tension in his stride and the way he clasped his staff weapon gave away his readiness to protect them.
Sam’s gaze fell on Jonas immediately in front of her. The Kelownan had become very much a part of SG1. He might not have the same experience under his belt as the rest of them but he was courageous and smart. She had overheard him talking to Teal’c about Nirrti’s attempted seduction of him and how he had replied just before the Colonel had arrived back to take her to the machine. Jonas was gaining more confidence with each mission, Sam mused as she concentrated on the path. Apart from his run-in with Nirrti he and Teal’c had almost got them free when he’d run at Egar when they were captured.
His relationship with the Colonel had improved tremendously too. She’d heard the worry in Jack’s voice for Jonas when the Kelownan had been collected for Nirrti’s continued experiments on them all and when he’d questioned Jonas over whether he was really fine. She resisted looking over her shoulder at the Colonel.
She felt her cheeks warm with more than the effort of walking as she remembered how she’d allowed herself to curl up on his shoulder earlier that day. What must he think, Sam berated herself. Possibly what she’d hoped he’d never find out; that she still had feelings for him. What had she been thinking? That she was dying. That in her final hours she didn’t want to pretend that she didn’t care about him; didn’t need him.
Why do we always wait to tell people how we really feel?
The words she had said to her former team-mate Daniel Jackson as he had lain dying drifted into her head. Not that she had gone that far. She hadn’t made any confessions of love, of caring more than she should to the Colonel. Thank God. It was bad enough that she had given into her weakness and rested against him. If she’d said anything...she shuddered. She knew he had moved on from the feelings he’d once had for her and while she didn’t doubt he cared for her – his concern for her proved that – she believed it was nothing more than friendship. Occasionally she thought she saw something in his eyes when he looked at her but it was probably her wishful thinking.
Sam grimaced.
Maybe he wouldn’t read anything into it, Sam mused. She could hope that maybe he would just put it down to a team-mate, a friend, seeking human warmth and comfort in her final hours. Only they hadn’t been her final hours. Not that she’d been given the same out as Daniel; apparently, her imminent death hadn’t given her a free pass to the Ascension club but SG1’s luck had held. The Colonel had managed to convince Egar to look into Nirrti’s mind and discover the truth about the Goa’uld. The natives had been the ones to kill Nirrti and to save Sam by fixing her in the machine.
She shivered again, remembering the overwhelming feeling of wrong about her body after Nirrti had experimented on her. When she’d been released she’d known something had changed; something fundamental. The pain had been everywhere, permeating every cell. She had known she was dying. Just like the unfortunate Alebran and the Russian team leader, Sergei Evanov. She had wondered as she lay there awaiting her end if Daniel had felt the same when he had been dying; so much fear, so much regret. Although he had been ultimately saved by Ascension, his dying by a severe dose of radiation had similarities.
Perhaps, Sam considered as her mind flew back to the intellectual puzzle, the Ancient genetic machine worked in a similar way. Radiation did cause genetic mutations, usually over a long period of time...and the liquefying of the body internally could be a result of radiation poisoning, although normally external degradation to the body was as severe as the internal. Maybe the machine was able to target the radiation into someone’s DNA and accelerate changes within it without necessarily affecting the upper epidermis.
Sam sighed. She would never know how the machine worked. The natives intended to destroy it and she really couldn’t blame them. It was dangerous. If any Goa’uld got their hands on it and successfully managed to create an advanced human – it didn’t bear thinking about. A Goa’uld with that kind of power...they had enough problems with the Goa’uld in their original state. Anubis had become a major threat since he had returned and while he’d focused his efforts more on destroying the Tok’ra and only occasionally trying to destroy Earth, Sam couldn’t help but feel he would try again soon.
At least Anubis’s actions in regards to the Asgard seemed to have prompted their allies into rethinking their own strategy about the Goa’uld – perhaps that and the containment of the Replicators. Thor had stopped by the week before with the offer of Asgard shields and weapons for the Prometheus. He would return in another week to install them. It was a closely guarded secret at the SGC with only the President, General Hammond and SG1 in the know. The General had been keen to keep the news under wraps with the disclosure of the Stargate programme to the major world powers imminent and the President had agreed with him.
Sam was looking forward to working with the Asgard on the installation. Her lips twitched. Rodney McKay was going to be so annoyed that he hadn’t been told. She couldn’t wait to see his face when he found out. He was going to be...
The rush of nausea took her by surprise. She lurched to the side of the path and bent over as the bile pushed up through her gullet, burning the back of her throat as she gagged and vomited helplessly. Her eyes stung with unexpected tears; frustration, weakness...she blinked them back furiously as she caught her breath.
‘Carter.’
Jack was suddenly beside her and she grabbed hold of his vest unthinkingly as she bent double again and heaved. The meagre contents of her stomach were already up and she was left with painful cramping. She felt her whole body tremble as she desperately breathed in slowly, trying to will the nausea away.
She felt Jack’s hand brush through her hair; one of his arms was around her waist she realised, supporting her. She straightened tentatively and he took her P90 from her as he led her away where her nostrils weren’t assailed by the acrid smell of vomit. She absently noticed a concerned Teal’c and Jonas hovering further along the path.
‘Sit.’ Jack ordered, gesturing at a large log.
‘I’m...’
‘Sit, damn it.’ She sat. Or rather half collapsed.
‘O’Neill.’ Teal’c ran up. He looked over at her and she saw his worry for her flicker in the depths of his dark eyes before he returned his attention to the Colonel.
‘You and Jonas carry on to the gate.’ Jack said crisply, giving Teal’c her P90 to carry. ‘Make sure it’s secure. Signal us when you’re ready to gate through and I’ll bring Carter.’
Sam glanced around and realised as she placed the vegetation patterns and the shape of the path that they were almost there.
Teal’c inclined his head, hoisted his weapon and turned to jog back to the path. He and Jonas both set off again. She felt a murmur of guilt.
Jack offered her a canteen of water. She rinsed her mouth out twice, spitting the liquid onto the ground behind the log before she took a couple of hesitant sips. The cool water slid down her raw throat and into her belly. She held a breath but the water didn’t rise back up. She handed the canteen back. He swapped it for a mint and she slipped it between her lips, sucking on the hard candy, grateful as the sharp freshness replaced the taste of bile.
‘Thank you, sir.’ Sam said quietly as he sat beside her and waited.
‘Are you sure we shouldn’t take you back to the machine?’ He asked, adjusting the hold on his P90. His brown eyes scanned the undergrowth for threats.
‘I’m sure.’ Sam said. It was a few more minutes before their radios crackled into life.
‘O’Neill, this is Teal’c.’ The Jaffa’s voice rumbled out of the tiny speaker. ‘The gate is secure and Jonas Quinn has dialled Earth.’
‘Send Jonas through to organise a med team for Carter’s arrival and update the General.’ Jack’s look stopped her from protesting.
‘Understood.’ Teal’c replied.
The radio went silent.
Sam pushed herself upwards and felt herself sway; her body trembling with weakness. Jack’s arm went around her waist to support her. She took a breath and pushed away from him but he held onto her.
‘Humour me, Carter.’ Jack ordered.
Sam leaned against him as they set back along the path and as her knees shook with each step, she was grateful the Colonel had insisted on helping her. Just a few more steps, Sam promised herself. Her eyes drank in the markers she had memorised on their arrival; a big rock, a misshapen tree, a patch of flowers among the green woodland. They stepped out into the Stargate clearing and she gave a huff of relief.
Teal’c jogged up to meet them and she realised he must have given her P90 to Jonas because he was only carrying his staff weapon. He moved to her other side and she realised he was positioning himself to support her should she collapse.
She must look terrible, Sam considered wryly.
The blue puddle rippled and she felt a wave of tiredness as they walked towards it. Her legs felt like jello and she stumbled on a patch of uneven ground. Beside her, Jack swore lightly and before she could process it, he’d handed his P90 to Teal’c and he was moving to lift her into his arms.
Her arms went around his neck, automatically clutching at him as her world shifted. She absently thought about protesting but she couldn’t muster the energy. She closed her eyes as he carried her the remaining distance and she felt the chill of the event horizon hit her skin.
The disorientation of the wormhole had her head spinning as they exited and she could feel her stomach rolling again in protest. She whimpered, barely aware of the bright lights of the SGC and Jack yelling for medics as she gave into the darkness beckoning her.
o-O-o
Jack’s heart hammered in his chest as he yelled for the medics and he was relieved when he saw Janet Fraiser entering the gate room briskly, a medical gurney at her heels. His back and knees protested as he carried Sam’s limp body down the ramp and he placed her carefully on the thin mattress. He ignored General Hammond stood off to the side along with Teal’c and Jonas.The petite doctor stepped up on the other side of the gurney. ‘Colonel?’ Janet asked impatiently as she checked Sam’s pupil reaction. Her hand slid down Sam’s neck to check her pulse.
‘Nirrti placed her in the gene machine and she almost died. The natives fixed her but she’s been dizzy and she threw up on the walk back to the Stargate.’ Jack forced the words out, aiming for a dispassionate tone at odds with the way he stayed pinned to the side of the gurney. He gestured tiredly at Jonas. ‘You need to check him over too.’
‘Who, me?’ Jonas’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You were in the machine, Jonas.’ Jack snapped. ‘You need to be checked out.’
Janet nodded. Her eyes snapped to the General. ‘With your permission, sir.’
Hammond nodded.
Her dark eyes speared Jonas. ‘You too, Jonas.’
Jonas gave a sigh but followed after her.
The General halted Jack as he made to go after the gurney. ‘Colonel? The Russian team reported back when you didn’t make contact. We were about to send them and a rescue team through.’
Jack’s jaw moved as he repressed the retort that sprang to his lips and he shifted his weight impatiently as Teal’c halted his own exit and stood beside him. He had a duty to report, Jack reminded himself. He swallowed his resentment. Carter was in good hands; there was little he could do but hang around the infirmary and annoy the hell out of the doc.
He took a step towards the General. ‘We managed to get into the fortress but got ambushed by Nirrti.’ Jack reported succinctly. He reached into his vest pocket and drew out the dog tags he’d retrieved. ‘She tortured Evanov in the machine first. He didn’t make it.’
Hammond took the dog tags with a grimace. ‘I’ll inform the Russians.’
Jack knew it was going to be a difficult conversation especially as the SGC was just about to head into a delicate disclosure of the Stargate programme. They needed to keep the Russians onside. Evanov’s death was going to screw with that.
‘We promised the natives help and supplies, General.’ Jack continued. ‘They helped get us out; killed Nirrti.’
Hammond nodded. ‘We’ll organise a team to go back through and make contact. It would be helpful if either you or Teal’c could go through with them.’
Jack’s heart sank but he knew he had a responsibility...
‘I will go, General Hammond.’
Jack turned sharply to the Jaffa.
Teal’c ignored him. ‘I have no need of rest unlike Colonel O’Neill.’
Hammond’s eyebrows rose up his forehead.
‘I could go too, General.’ Jack sighed, unwilling to admit he’d prefer to stay and check on the others.
The General motioned at Jack. ‘Teal’c will suffice, Colonel. Get yourself to the infirmary.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Jack said. He patted Teal’c’s arm on his way out, a thank you for stepping in. Teal’c inclined his head.
Jack made for the elevator and he was pleased to find it empty. He stepped in and slumped against the back of the compartment, dropping his gaze to the floor. The mission had been a bust from the get-go. Alebran’s intel had been partial at best and they’d made too many assumptions about the willingness of the natives to be rescued. If he hadn’t managed to get through to Egar; if Egar hadn’t taken the knowledge of how to use the machine...they would have lost Carter along with Evanov. Maybe they still would.
The thought had him moving; pushing off the back of the compartment and pacing until the doors opened on the infirmary level. He headed straight for the isolation rooms. He was half-way down the corridor when Janet stepped out of one of the rooms. She headed straight for him and he stopped.
‘Carter?’ Jack asked.
‘She regained consciousness.’ Janet informed him.
He felt his stomach flip in relief. ‘That’s good, right?’
‘She’s resting.’ Janet said cautiously. ‘We’re monitoring her. From what you and Jonas told me, her body underwent a severe shock today both in being altered initially and in being restored.’
‘So...’
‘So, we can’t know the exact side-effects of that. She may continue to experience sickness and dizziness; her condition may improve or deteriorate.’ Janet said bluntly. ‘This is way out of our knowledge and experience, Colonel.’
Jack’s jaw clenched painfully.
‘We’re going to keep monitoring her.’ Janet said firmly.
Her determined look reassured Jack somewhat. He tried to let go of the anxiety eating at his gut. Carter was in the best place; if something happened, the doc would take care of her. ‘Jonas?’ Jack asked.
‘We’re running several tests.’ Janet admitted, pushing her hands into the deep pockets of her white coat. ‘Outwardly, he appears to be unaffected. He’s in good spirits.’ She shrugged. ‘If Nirrti altered his DNA in any way, it’s not immediately obvious and the tests should tell us more. I’ve asked him to stay in the infirmary tonight for observation.’
‘OK.’ Jack said.
Janet motioned with her head. ‘Follow me. I’ll do your post mission check.’
Jack followed her down the hall into the main treatment rooms without arguing; the sooner he got done, the sooner he was free to check in on his team. He sat through her examination, answering the questions quickly.
She finished her notations and clicked the pen off. ‘You’re all done, Colonel.’
‘Great.’ He hopped off the bed, grabbing the jacket he had shucked off at the beginning of the exam.
‘Colonel.’ Janet cleared her throat.
Jack looked at her questioningly. Nirrti’s really dead?’ Janet asked.
Jack nodded. ‘Dead.’ He paused as he watched something flicker over her face; a strange mix of relief and guilt. ‘Doc?’
‘It’s nothing.’ Janet claimed.
He raised an eyebrow.
Janet’s lips twisted and he watched as her fingers clutched the clipboard she held tight enough to turn the knuckles white. ‘It’s Cassie.’ She admitted with a sigh. ‘I don’t know if I should tell her or to leave it alone.’ Her gaze dropped away from his. ‘I don’t want her feeling responsible for what Nirrti’s done to Sam. What she did to Alebran and Evanov.’
‘It’s not your fault either, Doc.’ Jack said hearing the guilt in her voice.
‘Sir, Nirrti was released because of me.’ Janet insisted.
‘Nirrti was released because Hammond agreed to the deal and we honoured it.’ Jack said brusquely. Which had been a bad move; he really should have killed the snake as soon as she had saved Cassie. He waved at Janet. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it.’
Janet made a face. ‘I guess that’s easier said than done.’ She looked at him knowingly.
Touché, Jack thought tiredly. Because when all was said and done he felt just as responsible as she did. Hell, he’d even walked Nirrti into the gate room and waved her off on her merry way. He gestured at Janet with his jacket and avoided the question. ‘Which rooms are Jonas and Carter in?’
She gave a sigh. ‘Major Carter is in isolation room 4; Jonas in 5.’
Jack got to the doorway and turned to look at her again. ‘You should tell Cassie, you know, that Nirrti’s dead.’
Janet nodded slowly.
Jack headed at a brisk pace to the isolation rooms. He got to Jonas’s room first. The door was open and he heard Jonas before he saw him, a murmur of low voice that drifted out into the open corridor. The faint sound of a woman’s laughter followed it and Jack raised his eyebrows.
He rapped sharply on the door and entered. Jonas sat up straighter on the medical bed as Jack approached. Jack absently noted the Kelownan had been changed into blue medical pyjamas but what caught his attention was the blushing nurse attending to him. She remarked she’d check on Jonas later and ran out.
‘Sorry.’ Jack allowed himself to be somewhat amused as Jonas smiled sheepishly. ‘I didn’t mean to chase her away.’
Jonas shrugged. He rested back against the pillows. ‘There’s always later, right? It’s not like I’m going anywhere.’
Jack noted the edge of frustration. ‘Better safe than sorry.’
‘I feel fine.’ Jonas insisted.
‘Yes. Well.’ Jack waved at him with his jacket. ‘You say that now.’ He searched around for something to cheer the younger man up. ‘And hey, you seem to be a big hit with that nurse.’
Jonas shifted position and ducked his head. ‘I can’t believe I was just joking with Sam this morning about getting sick so I could be in the infirmary, you know, so I could spend time with Nurse Rush.’
Jack’s eyebrows rose steadily up his head and decided knowing which nurse Jonas had the hots for was more information than he needed to know.
‘How is she?’ Jonas asked.
‘Nurse Rush?’ Jack shot back confused.
‘Sam.’ Jonas corrected swiftly. ‘I mean, have you heard anything?’
‘The doc thinks Carter’s just reacting to her DNA being remixed twice in one day.’ Jack said crisply. He hoped that was all it was.
‘Nirrti didn’t do anything to me.’ Jonas said. ‘She was too interested in, uh, well, making me her consort.’
Jack raised his scarred eyebrow. ‘Let me guess; first time being seduced by a Goa’uld?’
Jonas gave an embarrassed smile.
‘I should, uh,’ Jack motioned toward the door, ‘go; check on Carter.’
‘Tell her I said hi.’ Jonas said.
Jack nodded. ‘Jonas.’
The Kelownan looked at him quizzically. ‘You did a good job today.’ Jack said sincerely.
Jonas looked surprised but he smiled again. ‘Thanks, Colonel.’
Jack gave another brief nod of acknowledgement and walked out. He’d meant what he’d said. Jonas was a good addition to SG1. He wasn’t Daniel but who was? Jonas worked hard and he was a good kid. He deserved his place. And given that, maybe it was time to cut him some slack, Jack considered.
It was a short walk to Carter’s room from Jonas’s and Jack was pleased to find it empty except for the occupant herself. She was curled up in a foetal position facing the door. Wires snaked out of the bedclothes and into machines. Jack was reassured by them; it meant the medical staff were monitoring her, keeping her safe, alive.
Sam’s eyes opened as he neared the bed and pulled up a stool. He flung his jacket over the seat and sat down.
‘How’re you doing?’ He asked quietly. He scanned her pale face with concern.
‘I haven’t thrown up again.’ Sam replied.
Jack offered her a small smile of understanding.
‘Jonas?’ She asked.
‘He’s OK.’ He gestured at her. ‘Flirting with some nurse.’
She smiled weakly.
‘Get some rest.’ He ordered softly.
Worryingly Carter didn’t argue; she just slowly closed her eyes again. Jack propped his feet up on the lower rung of the stool and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He watched her; allowing himself the luxury. She had almost died.
The truth of it stampeded through him like a herd of elephants. He’d almost lost her. Again. How many more times would he almost lose her before he actually did? His eyes drifted over her sleeping form as his thumb slid against his palm unconsciously.
‘You made it through. You’re going to be alright.’
‘No, sir; I don’t think I am.’
It wasn’t like Carter to be so fatalistic. Her standard response was usually ‘I’m fine’ even when she plainly wasn’t. He didn’t want to think about how much the thought of losing Carter scared him; how much it reminded him of her crumpled at his feet and a zat in his hand. His mind careened away from the topic, searching desperately for something else...anything else.
The feel of her huddled up beside him, her head on his shoulder.
He dropped his gaze from Carter to the floor. He had suspected for a while that Carter’s feelings for him had resurfaced. He had allowed himself to revel in the idea if he was honest, Jack considered with some chagrin. He couldn’t deny that part of him liked that she hadn’t been able to move on any more than he had. Jack’s lips tightened.
Because of her feelings Carter had turned to him for comfort because she was dying – and he knew how much it had cost her to make that one small move yet what had he given her in response? Nothing. Less than nothing. He should have been able to have put his arm around her, to have held her. He could have done it as her friend never mind the man who loved her; he should have done it. Instead, he’d barely acknowledged her, too afraid she would read something more than just friendship into his actions; too afraid she would discover that he still loved her.
She deserved better. She deserved to be loved by someone who could love her openly; who wouldn’t think twice about putting his arm around her when she was hurting. And that wasn’t him; not while he was her CO and they had a mission which had to come first. Not when he had to protect her with a mask of indifference so she wouldn’t be targeted anymore than she already was. But he could do better at being her friend, Jack thought almost angrily; and he could have this moment with her; just watching over her, making sure she was OK. He made her that promise as he watched her sleep.
o-O-o
Daniel studied the charred remains of the ziggurat with a frown. The last time he had stood in front of the ziggurat he had been with SG1. The memory of it swamped him with a wave of nostalgia and longing. He missed them. More so because he’d just spent the majority of the day with them on P3X367. He shivered remembering how close he’d been to stepping in; how close Sam had been to dying.‘You did the right thing.’
He didn’t jump at the sound of Oma’s voice beside him. He was getting used to Ascended females turning up seemingly out of nowhere.
‘Oma.’ He folded his arms into the wide sleeves of his robes. ‘What brings you by?’
‘I think the question is what brings you by?’ Oma returned.
He glanced at her. She had taken her usual mortal form of a mature woman; a brunette with a serene expression and lively intelligence lighting her eyes. He wondered briefly if she had looked the same before she Ascended. She was dressed as he was in Abydonian robes, but hers shimmered with the power of her Ascended form whereas his merely gave off a faint glow. He gave a moment’s thanks that neither of them could be seen by Anubis’s Jaffa milling around the ruined ziggurat.
Daniel pointed at them. ‘Or should the question be what brings them by?’
Oma looked over at the guards. ‘Why does it interest you?’
‘Why doesn’t it interest you?’ Daniel retorted with more than a touch of resentment. He was getting tired of getting only questions and no answers.
‘I didn’t say I wasn’t interested.’ Oma said softly.
The reply was unusual enough that it caught Daniel’s attention.
‘But there is a difference between being interested and being able to interfere.’ Oma continued smoothly.
‘Who said I was going to interfere?’ Daniel rejoined.
Oma stared at him. ‘Then what are you doing here?’
‘I’m interested.’ Daniel admitted. He gestured towards the ziggurat where the Jaffa were digging through the rubble. ‘Anubis is after the Eye of Tiamat.’
‘And he seeks it here.’ Oma mused, a small frown creasing her forehead.
‘Oh, it’s here.’ Daniel confirmed dryly.
Oma looked at him quizzically.
‘We, I mean SG1, we buried it when we blew up the ziggurat to kill the Goa’uld.’ Daniel explained. ‘They dig long enough they should find it. That is if it wasn’t destroyed in the explosion.’
‘It was not.’ Oma said with a confidence that told Daniel she knew on some other level than simple knowledge.
‘Then by the end of the day he’ll have two Eyes. The one he recovered from Hathor’s temple and Tiamat’s.’
‘He is gathering the Eyes?’ Oma asked.
He frowned as concern drifted across her face. ‘That’s not a happy look.’
Oma sighed. ‘The Eyes were once part of a weapon capable of destroying all life on a single planet.’
‘So I’ve been told.’ Daniel murmured. ‘If Anubis gets the Eyes...’
‘Then he can rebuild the weapon.’ Oma agreed. She drew her robes closer as though chilled despite the desert temperature.
‘He would have an incredible advantage.’ Daniel commented. ‘Against the other System Lords; against Earth...any planet.’
‘Yes.’ Oma said faintly.
‘And that bothers you.’ Daniel realised.
One of the Jaffa yelled and Anubis’s First Prime Herak hurried over to the site. Daniel ignored the activity, his attention fixed on his Ascended mentor.
‘Of course the potential loss of life at the hands of someone that evil bothers me.’ Oma said sharply. ‘Just because I cannot interfere doesn’t mean I’m immune to caring, Daniel.’
Daniel stood slightly stunned beside her. It was the first time that he felt that he’d heard the unadorned truth pass her lips, uncomplicated by cryptic notions or answers within answers. ‘I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t care.’ He said softly.
Oma breathed in deeply, apparently regaining her calm. ‘No matter how much we might want to, we cannot interfere.’ She shifted with a rustle of her robes. ‘I take so many chances Ascending people...’
Her voice shook and Daniel took a step toward her.
Oma sighed. ‘I cannot risk anything more.’
‘I know.’ Daniel reached out to her and as his hand touched her shoulder he felt her power mingle with his. So much older than his; so much deeper.
‘Then why are you here, Daniel?’ Oma asked again.
Daniel sighed and dropped his hand. He hugged his torso tightly. ‘I’m following my path.’
Oma looked at him, her eyes meeting his searchingly. Maybe, he mused, his answer had surprised her.
‘Perhaps you are right.’ She said.
There was a swirl of sand and light, and in the next breath she was gone. Daniel blinked. He wondered whether her words were approval, acceptance or something else entirely.
There was a yell and Daniel’s attention snapped back to the ziggurat: Herak hold aloft the Eye of Tiamat in the blazing sun.
o-O-o
Jack bounded up the metal stairs. He slowed as he neared the General’s office as the reason for his summons became clear with the stocky form of Colonel Chekov in the window. He grimaced before smoothing his expression and marching forward. He rapped sharply on the open door and Hammond waved him inside.‘Thanks for coming so promptly, Colonel.’ Hammond said as Jack moved to stand beside the desk in an at ease position, legs slightly apart, arms behind his back, his chest pushed out in the black t-shirt he wore with his sliver dog tags glinting against it.
Jack acknowledged Major Davis with a nod before he met Chekov’s steely stare. ‘Colonel.’
‘Colonel.’
Hammond gestured at Davis who left the office and closed the door to the briefing room behind him. ‘Colonel Chekov arrived early to be briefed ahead of the meeting in Washington. He has some additional questions about the mission to P3X367 that he’d like to ask you.’
He shot Jack a look that asked him to play ball. They needed the Russians onside in the disclosure hearing which the Russians didn’t actually know about exactly, and the last time Jack had crossed Chekov’s path the words ‘bite me’ might have been used.
‘Of course, General.’ Jack said neutrally, refusing to give voice to the remark that their reports pretty much covered what had happened. His gaze shifted to Chekov who stood stiffly in front of Hammond’s desk.
Chekov viewed him with suspicion. ‘You can surely appreciate why I have questions, Colonel. Once again, you are in charge of a mission with a Russian team, and once again, one of them does not make it home.’
Jack bristled with the implication and counted to ten in his head before he replied. ‘I take full responsibility for Evanov’s death.’
There was a stunned silence in the office.
‘You take full responsibility?’ Chekov sputtered, motioning at him.
‘I was in command.’ Jack said briskly. ‘Evanov was following my orders.’
‘Then you admit responsibility?’ Chekov pressed.
‘As I said in my report, we made too many assumptions based on Alebran’s intel.’ Jack said. He let his mind go back over it; they’d assumed just because Alebran had wanted them to help him that the other villagers did too; they hadn’t known about the additional powers Nirrti had given her followers. He pulled a face. ‘We got taken by surprise and it cost us.’
Chekov’s mouth was agape. ‘I see.’
‘I want you to know Evanov died with honour.’ Jack continued sincerely. He hadn’t really known Sergei but he’d been impressed with him on their short mission together. ‘And I’d like to offer my sincere condolences on his loss.’
‘Thank you, Colonel.’ Chekov said quietly. He scanned Jack’s face intently. ‘Perhaps it would be safe to conclude that this was simply a terrible tragedy, and that Nirrti is ultimately to blame, hmmm?’
‘I think we can agree on that.’ Hammond inserted before Jack could speak.
‘How is Major Carter and Mister Quinn?’ Chekov asked, folding his hands in front of him.
‘Jonas Quinn is fine.’ Hammond replied. ‘Major Carter is at home on medical leave recovering.’
Jack didn’t allow any of his personal pleasure show. Carter had been released from the infirmary the day before. She’d had twenty-four hours of her body seizing and vomiting before she had stabilised. Fraiser was satisfied there would be no further repercussions but she’d put Carter on leave for a couple of days to regain her strength before allowing her to return to active duty. Apparently, Nirrti hadn’t done anything to Jonas but try and seduce him; his tests had come back clean.
‘Please give her my best wishes.’ Chekov said formally. He turned to Hammond. ‘I will see you tomorrow in Washington, General?’
‘Of course.’ Hammond said politely.
Chekov made his way out of the office and Jack breathed out silently in relief.
‘Thank you, Colonel.’ Hammond said with heartfelt gratitude.
Jack shrugged. ‘I meant every word, sir.’
‘I know you did, Jack.’ Hammond sighed heavily as he sat down, the leather chair creaking under his weight. ‘I know we promised ourselves that we would run the SGC with integrity, but...’ he shook his head, ‘we should never have let Nirrti go once she healed Cassandra Fraiser.’
‘No, sir.’ Jack agreed with him. ‘We should never have honoured the deal.’
‘Maybe there’s something to be said for not making deals with the devil.’ Hammond murmured. His blue eyes caught Jack’s. ‘I know we’re all feeling responsible here, Colonel, but the truth is that Nirrti is ultimately responsible for what she did.’
But it wasn’t that easy and Jack knew the General knew that. They had knowingly let her loose on the galaxy. ‘With your permission, sir.’
For a second, Jack thought Hammond was going to argue before his CO nodded slowly.
‘Before you go, Colonel.’ Hammond opened his desk drawer and extracted a small white stone used for communication with the Asgard. ‘I’ve briefed Thor on the disclosure and agreed that you’ll contact him if it becomes necessary.’
Jack took the stone and gave a sharp nod. He looked at Hammond. ‘Good luck tomorrow, sir.’
He made his way out of the office and he took the elevator to Daniel’s office where he’d left Jonas and Teal’c. He wondered if he’d ever start thinking about it as Jonas’s office – if he should start thinking of it as Jonas’s office before dismissing it as unimportant. He strode in and stopped at the sight of Jonas and Teal’c huddled around the computer. He walked up behind them quietly and his eyebrow rose as he realised they were on a dating tips site. OK. So not something he wanted to discuss with them ever.
He cleared his throat.
Jonas jumped. ‘Colonel.’
‘Jonas.’ Jack avoided looking at the computer screen.
‘Perhaps Colonel O’Neill will be able to answer your question.’ Teal’c advised, slipping from his chair to stand beside Jack with a smug expression.
Jack glared at him.
Jonas looked at the Jaffa with horror before darting a hopeful gaze toward Jack.
Jack sighed and waved at him. ‘Fine. Ask.’
‘Nurse Rush has agreed to go on a date with me tomorrow afternoon.’ Jonas explained hurriedly. ‘Now, I’ve read several books on the subject...’
‘Of course you have.’ Jack muttered, crossing his arms and glaring again at Teal’c who looked serenely back at him.
‘...and they all give conflicting information.’ Jonas concluded.
‘And your question is?’ Jack pressed.
‘Well, what’s usual for a first date here?’ Jonas said eagerly, his youthful expression brimming with earnest enthusiasm.
Jack shot Teal’c another look.
‘I am unfamiliar with Earth mating customs.’ Teal’c said firmly.
Unfamiliar, his ass. The Jaffa was addicted to Oprah.
Jack sighed and looked at Jonas. ‘You dated on Kelowna?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, what’s usual for a first date there?’ Jack asked briskly.
‘Usually you have dinner with your family or, in the absence of family, someone you respect.’ Jonas explained happily. ‘Many of the customs I’ve read about Earth mention something similar particularly in Asian culture but it doesn’t seem to be the fashion here in the West where...’
Jack held up a finger to stem the tide of words and lecture on Western dating norms. ‘Ah.’
‘I have thought about taking her to see Doctor Kieran but he hasn’t been well recently and well,’ Jonas made a face as he crossed his arms, ‘I’m not sure Nurse Rush would appreciate being taken to a mental institution.’
The temptation to disagree and encourage Jonas to take Rush to a mental ward on a first date just for the sheer entertainment value whispered at Jack but he ignored it especially given the way Teal’c was staring him down with his ‘you will not tease Jonas Quinn in this matter’ expression; he reminded himself that he had promised he’d cut the kid some slack and he’d meant it.
‘How about a team barbeque?’ Jack suggested.
‘Really?’ Jonas’s face brightened.
‘Sure.’ Jack said easily. They were all off duty in the afternoon and it wasn’t as though he’d had plans. ‘We can do it at my place. Three o’clock fine with you?’
‘That’s great.’ Jonas said. ‘Thank you, Colonel.’
Jack nodded and headed for the door. He decided a strategic retreat was called for before he was asked for further dating advice and had to admit his own lack of a life outside the SGC. ‘Call Carter and invite her along; tell her to bring beer.’ He called over his shoulder.
If he had to suffer through shepherding Jonas through his first date on Earth, she should too, Jack reasoned smugly.
o-O-o
Sam moved her bishop and bit her lip. She should have moved her knight. Damn. Her blue eyes lifted to look at her opponent and she sighed inwardly. From the way Cassie was staring vacantly out of the window into Sam’s backyard, Sam could have removed most of the pieces on the chess board and Cassie wouldn’t have noticed. The chess game was their Saturday ritual when Sam was on Earth; Janet had dropped Cassie off on her way to the base a half hour before, leaving with a wry admonishment for Cassie not to tire Sam completely.‘Cass?’
Cassie stirred, her brown hair with its reddish tinge falling over her face as she turned back to the game. She picked up a pawn.
Sam lifted her denim clad legs onto the sofa and tucked them beneath her as she regarded the young woman with concern. ‘Something on your mind?’
‘Hmmm?’ Cassie looked up at her suddenly as though startled. ‘Sorry.’ She flushed. ‘I’m just not really in the mood for this today.’
‘We don’t have to play.’ Sam said, brushing imaginary lint off her blue sweater.
‘Thanks.’ Cassie put the pawn down and turned back to the window.
‘You want to do something else?’ Sam asked gently. ‘Or do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?’
Cassie shook her head. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘OK.’ Sam had a feeling she knew what was troubling the teen but if Cassie didn’t want to talk about it, she wouldn’t push her. ‘Hot chocolate?’
Cassie’s gaze slid back to her. ‘I’m not a kid.’
‘No,’ Sam agreed, trying not to feel hurt at the sharp tone, ‘but hot chocolate always makes me feel better.’ She paused momentarily. ‘Or ice-cream.’ She didn’t mention a glass of wine which was her other standby; Cassie had dabbled with alcohol after Daniel’s death and she didn’t want to bring it up again.
‘Like ice-cream or hot chocolate’s going to help.’ Cassie rolled her eyes. Sam raised an eyebrow. Cassie fidgeted under her gaze, her fingers worrying at the buttons on her blouse. ‘Mom told me about Nirrti.’
‘Yeah, I figured.’ Sam said softly.
‘I thought...’ Cassie began, her gaze dropping back to the chess game, ‘I thought I’d be happy, you know, but...’
‘But?’ prompted Sam.
‘But she hurt so many people.’ Cassie’s face lifted and Sam’s heart clenched at the sight of tears glittering in Cassie’s eyes. ‘Because of me.’
‘Oh, Cassie.’ Sam patted the cushion beside her and Cassie moved to join her, the need for comfort apparently winning out against the teenage mandate to look cool. She put her arm around Cassie and felt the young girl snuggle into her. She stroked back Cassie’s hair. ‘It’s not your fault.’
‘You only let her go because of me.’ Cassie argued. ‘Because of the deal she made to heal me.’
‘Cassie, you are not to blame.’
‘But...’
‘Look,’ Sam said firmly, ‘I won’t disagree that it was the General’s decision to honour the deal to heal you that freed her but you had no part in that decision. Your Mom, me, the Colonel, Daniel...we share some of the responsibility for what she did to the people on P3X367 because we argued to let her go but you do not.’
‘If I hadn’t been sick though.’ Cassie murmured.
‘You were only sick because of Nirrti’s genetic manipulations.’ Sam pointed out. ‘It’s not your fault. OK?’
‘OK.’
It might have been said unwillingly but Sam would take it. She figured that she, Janet and everyone else in Cassie’s life would have to tell her the same thing and often before Cassie would truly begin to believe it.
Cassie sighed. ‘Daniel said the same thing.’
Sam froze. ‘Daniel?’
‘Yeah,’ Cassie said, cuddling closer, ‘I had this really weird dream about him last night. He was helping me study, you know, like he used to and...suddenly, in the dream, he just turned to me and said it wasn’t my fault.’
Sam rubbed Cassie’s back soothingly. ‘Sounds like something Daniel would say.’
‘Do you dream about him?’ Cassie asked bluntly.
Sam pressed her lips together; grief swelling inside her again. It was more muted than it had been in the immediacy of Daniel’s death but it still hurt; still had the power to take her breath and make her eyes sting. ‘Yeah, sometimes.’
‘I miss him.’ Cassie said.
‘Me too.’ Sam admitted thickly.
‘Sam?’ The word was muffled into Sam’s shoulder.
‘Yeah?’ Sam asked.
‘Can we have hot chocolate and ice-cream?’ Cassie lifted her head and smiled tearfully at Sam.
Sam smiled back. ‘Sure; why not?’
It was a question that came back to haunt Sam hours later when she lay in bed unable to sleep. Too much sugar, she berated herself as she turned over for the umpteenth time, ignoring the thoughts of Nirrti, of Cassie, of Daniel, of almost dying that were chasing each other through her head.
She glared at the clock, willing the neon figures to say something other than zero-one-hundred. This was stupid, Sam thought exasperated. She just wasn’t tired. She could get some work done, Sam mused. She had her laptop. There was some analysis work that she could do or a few reports that still needed finalising.
Her decision made, she snapped the light on beside the bed and shoved the covers back, intending to head for her small office area. She grabbed her cell phone and stopped abruptly, sitting on the edge of her bed, illuminated by the small puddle of amber light. Her thumb slid over the smooth plastic of the phone. She’d always called Daniel when she’d needed someone to talk to in the middle of the night. Not often and not so much in the year before he’d died when she’d been unable to talk to anyone about what was really bothering her given talking about it would mean acknowledging it was a problem. But she had called him in the past. Her lips twisted. She wondered if he had a number she could call on the Ascended plane.
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she recalled the Colonel’s offer that she should call him instead of Daniel if she couldn’t sleep. Her fingers tapped along the plastic. Bad idea, Sam, she told herself brusquely. The Colonel had probably only made the offer to be polite. And even if he’d meant it, it didn’t mean she should take him up on it. She’d already given away too much of what she felt with her cuddling up to him in the cell. If she called him he would know.
Nope.
Bad idea.
Sam looked at the phone in her hand and shook her head decisively, placing it back on the bedside table. She rubbed her bare knees, acknowledging the chill in the house. Working lost its appeal as she considered the cold walk through to the study. She climbed back under the covers, enjoying the warmth as she tucked herself in again. She reached for the light and plunged the room into darkness.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dark; to make out the various shadowy forms of her furniture. She stared up at the ceiling, absently tracking a small crack along the far corner.
She should call him.
Sam sighed impatiently at the thought. She should not call him. She turned over and resolutely closed her eyes.
But.
But, nothing.
He had offered. And she couldn’t sleep. And maybe it would help if she talked with someone.
Sam snorted into her pillow. Someone, yes. The Colonel, no.
She could call Janet. Maybe. Except. Janet was her doctor and Sam really didn’t want to confess that she was dwelling on almost dying; she was certain if she did, a psych eval would be in her near future. And then there was the fact that Janet was Cassie’s Mom, and she didn’t want to worry Janet when the other woman was probably already worried enough about how Cassie was taking Nirrti’s death. But she needed to tell someone.
She shifted onto her back and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling again. If she called the Colonel about Cassie...that would be OK, wouldn’t it? She didn’t have to call about her own worries; she could just call him about Cassie. In fact, he’d want to know. He was as fond of Cassie as she was. He’d want to help.
Sam sat up and snapped the light on again. She picked up her house phone and began to dial the Colonel, the numbers familiar and remembered with ease. Her thumb hovered over the last digit as her eyes caught on the clock. Sam grimaced. One-thirty. He was probably asleep. Maybe she shouldn’t call him. With a sigh as she lost her nerve, she slapped the phone back into its cradle.
She turned the light off again and pounded her pillow twice before throwing herself down on it. But there was the outside possibility that he was awake. He sometimes stayed up late watching the stars or watching the replays of some game. And he had offered as a friend; had said she could call if she couldn’t sleep.
The light clicked on for the third time. Sam held her breath as she dialled again. Cassie, she reminded herself; she was just calling him because she was worried about Cassie. The ringing on the other end had Sam nervously pulling up her covers, her fingers tightening on the fabric.
‘O’Neill.’
‘Sir?’ Sam managed to get out hesitantly. He sounded grumpy as though she had woken him up.
‘Carter.’ His voice changed in an instant, his grumpiness giving way to concern that warmed her, and settled some of the nerves chasing around her belly. ‘You OK?’
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam replied quickly. ‘I just...couldn’t sleep.’ She stared up at her ceiling at the long silence from the other end of the phone. It had been a bad idea to call him, she thought panicked. A really bad idea. She should just make her apologies and put the phone down. ‘I’m sorry, sir, I shouldn’t have called...’
‘Carter.’ He interrupted her briskly. ‘I distinctly remember telling you to call me if you couldn’t sleep.’
She let out a short breath of relief.
‘And what are friends for if you can’t be not asleep together, right?’ Jack said.
Friends. The word ran through her like a honed blade. Stupid to want more. So stupid. Why couldn’t she just accept his friendship? Her throat closed up and she struggled to get the words out. ‘Right, sir.’
There was a rustling noise as though he was getting comfortable and she pictured him in her head, turning over in his bed to lie on his back, putting the light on. ‘So, what’s on your mind?’
Sam shook her head, erasing the picture of him. ‘Cassie.’ She blurted out. ‘I’m worried about Cassie.’ Smooth, Sam, she berated herself. Couldn’t she just have a normal conversation with the man? ‘What about Cassie?’ Sam took a deep breath. ‘She was over today. She blames herself for Nirrti hurting everyone. I told her it wasn’t her fault.’
‘Let me guess; she didn’t go for it.’ Jack said dryly.
She smiled at his understanding. ‘She said she was fine when she left but...’
‘But as fine means not fine in Carter language,’ teased Jack.
Sam slid back down under the covers, holding the phone against her ear. ‘I just think Cassie could do with some cheering up.’
‘Hey, why don’t you invite her along to this barbeque thing tomorrow?’ Jack suggested.
‘Really?’ Sam blurted out. She felt a touch of sympathy for Lieutenant Stacey Rush. She rather doubted that a barbeque with Jonas’s team-mates, two of which were ranking officers, was Rush’s idea of a first date. Add in her boss’s daughter...
‘Sure, the more the merrier.’ Jack said. ‘It’ll even up the numbers.’
‘You mean of men and women.’ Sam said unthinkingly.
‘No, aliens to humans.’ Jack quipped.
Sam laughed out loud. ‘Are you sure this barbeque is a good idea, sir?’
‘I think it’s better than him taking her to see old Doc Kieran in the mental hospital.’ Jack replied.
‘He really wasn’t...’ Sam began.
‘No, he really wasn’t but he had thought about it.’ Jack replied. ‘It’s a Kelownan thing, Carter. Apparently it’s a tradition that they take their dates to meet the family first time out.’
‘So we’re standing in for Jonas’s family.’ Sam realised.
‘Well, we should check her out.’ Jack said. ‘I mean, she’s going to be dating Jonas and what do we know about her really except that she’s good with the big needle?’
She caught the hint of truth in his words; the innate protectiveness that he had for his team. ‘That’s sweet, sir.’
‘Did you just call me sweet?’ He sounded scandalised.
‘Uh.’ Sam smiled widely. ‘No?’
‘Carter, I am not sweet.’ Jack stated firmly.
‘No, sir.’ Sam replied, trying and failing to keep the laughter out of her voice. She decided on a strategic change of subject. ‘Will you call Cassie, sir?’ Sam figured Cassie would accept the invitation if it came from Jack.
‘Now?’
Her smile widened. ‘I was thinking later this morning at a more reasonable time.’
‘Right.’ Jack said. ‘I knew that.’
There was a comfortable pause.
‘Do you think Daniel misses us?’ The question tumbled out before Sam could stop it and she held her breath in the silence that followed.
‘I do.’ Jack said. It was such a simple and straightforward answer that Sam smiled.
The silence stretched and she realised with some surprise that she felt sleepy; that somewhere in the conversation her body had let go of all the nervous tension that been keeping her awake.
‘You think you can sleep now, Carter?’
‘Yes, sir.’ She hung onto the phone though, reluctant to end the conversation; reluctant to let go of the comfort of knowing he was on the other end of the line.
‘You know you should probably hang up.’ Jack pointed out.
She should; she knew she should. ‘’Night, sir.’
‘’Night, Carter.’
Sam slowed lowered the phone back into its cradle to end the call. She reached up and flicked the light off again. She huddled under the covers and closed her eyes, the conversation playing over in her head and making her smile again. Maybe being friends with him was good enough, she determined as she slid into sleep.
o-O-o
Jack heard the dull tone in his ear and reluctantly depressed the button to end the call. He turned onto his stomach and dropped the phone onto the floor beside the bed as he smushed his face back into the pillow and closed his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping when she’d called him and there was a dazed sense of wonder that she had. He grimaced, knowing he’d probably emphasised the friends thing too much to cover his own pleasure in her calling but...but it seemed to have worked. She’d even called him sweet. Which he wasn’t. And he wasn’t smiling.
Nope. Not smiling because Carter had called him sweet about the Jonas thing, or that she had called him because she couldn’t sleep, or because she was just alive and breathing and that made everything OK with his world. They were friends, team-mates. That was all; all they could be. But that was OK because as her friend Carter had called him in the middle of the night. Which was so not a reason for smiling. And he wasn’t smiling about Carter calling him, he wasn’t: he was just...smiling. fin.